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Tell me something good.

CRashster's picture
CRashster
Posts: 226
Joined: Mar 2017

It's no doubt that cancer is terrible and has effected us all. But, I have noticed that it has changed the way I see life and living. I now live with more urgency and abandon. We live 4 hours from the Smoky Mountains. We now take more trips as a family and see more and do more. I have probaby been to the mounatins 6 times since my diagnosis. We love it everytime. Had it not been for my experience with cancer I would have never started livng this way. It's proably the way I should have been lving all along. Tell me something positive that this awful experience has given you.

paintergrl's picture
paintergrl
Posts: 47
Joined: May 2018

I used to find excuses to not make art and now I've made art a priority. After spending time with my family. My husband and I put more thought into spending time together and with our 2 boys. I practice being mindful and appreciating every moment the best I can. It takes practice and sometimes it's hard. I take the time to have meaningful conversation and connections with friends and family. Great topic. Thanks for posting.

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 846
Joined: Nov 2014

You are so lucky to be living near the mountains! My country is small and flat as a pancake :-) And what an interesting thread!

I also have a positive experience to share. I've become a hypochondriac in 2011 after a miscarriage, which happened after years of infertility. I guess switching to a health anxiety was a way to cope with saddness. Like "I'm not sad about a lost child, it's a heatlh anxiety why I'm so stressed out" ... I worried about cancers all the time, assumed cancer equals death sentence, etc. Diagnosed myself and my husband many times. It was a bad way to live. 

And then a real cancer struck in 2014. And suddenly my hypochondria  disappeared). I had no time for imaginary illnesses, we had a real beast to fight. 

Second, I understood that cancer doesn't equal death sentence.

Third, I've learned how strong and positive my husband and myself are.

And the last but not least  - I understood how pointless health anxiety is. I've diagnosed my husband with lots of things which were false. But I've never-ever worried about kidney cancer, because he had no symptoms. So what's the point in all this worry? It would never help anyone, never detect an illness early, never will save any life.

 

After husband was cured my hypochondria did return to a certain extent. But I do not sweat small stuff anymore. Any illness which is not potentially lethal is not worth worrying :-) I also understood that tomorrow is not guaranteed and that I must deal with my anxiety and live life. So I'm on theraphy now and so much better! I'm truly enjoying life now!

And I also realized how much I love my husband... :-) These feelings do get a bit calmer with time, we tend to get used to each other, etc. A serious danger brings it all back.

 

I wish my husband and all of you NEVER had cancer, and I hate it! But it did happen, and now at least I try to get some lessons out of it...

I hope my rambling will not offend anyone with Stage 4. It is a terrible disease, and term "positive" can't be applied to all cancer patients' experiences.

 

 

 

Hd67xlch's picture
Hd67xlch
Posts: 143
Joined: Apr 2016

Life got better. Good luck

 

 

Bay Area Guy's picture
Bay Area Guy
Posts: 376
Joined: Jun 2016

I found the same thing you did CRashter.  My wife and I travel to Asia (Japan, Thailand and Singapore mainly) to see her relatives two or three times a year to eat and to just unwind from all the cares of the world here in the US.  Life just seems a lot more precious now and it's time to have fun!

stub1969's picture
stub1969
Posts: 766
Joined: Jul 2016

This may sound really weird and philosophical, but we've been given a precious gift.  It's the gift of realizing the beauty of life and how precious it is.  We've got to be careful not to take that gift for granted.  The busyness of life can temperarily cause amnesia.  Whether we are stage 1...stage 4, or anything in between we've all learned to "stop and smell the flowers" and to "not take moments for granted" and to "make memories".  It's important to live the gift we've been given and share this gift with others.

Stub

rhominator's picture
rhominator
Posts: 230
Joined: Nov 2015

Good words.

donna_lee's picture
donna_lee
Posts: 883
Joined: Feb 2009

I came roaring back with gusto  Nothing was going to stop me from overdoing; I took on extra committments, and joined other organizations.  And then I got my come-uppance.

Four in-hospital surgeries and one day-surgery in 24 months (3 for cancer, one for a dislocated and triple break on my ankle, plus removal of a tendon nodule from using crutches) slowwed me down.

Then I realized I needed to be satisfied with what I was doing and took an evaluation of what was going on. I weaned myself from saying yes, focused on my health, eliminated groups and individuals from my life who were "toxic"---one was a relative and another a long time "friend."

Family came first; and that also meant our family business.  I've been lucky to not have any recurrence since 2008; but lots of tests and even some re-tests.  It's given me time to slow down and regroup.  Heck, I'm 75, and I don't plan on going away soon.

Would I change the past 12 years? Probably not!  We just have to live our lives.

Hugs to all,

donna_lee

Retcenturion's picture
Retcenturion
Posts: 240
Joined: Mar 2017

We have had an awful year since my Neph. We had place in laws in long term care for Alzheimer's prior to my diagnosis. Their condition deteriorated so bad that the mental stress was worse than the cancer. They have now both passed. A co worker who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at 62 committed suicide on the diagnosis. He didn't tell anyone and he looked great. His note detailed the dread. . We also had 2 friends children die in accidents in their early twenties in the past year. But the worse is a good friend had a stroke and is in long term care who is my age and can't speak or know me. He's my age and it's really hard to visit.

So what's good? My wife and I have reconnected with old friends for getaways that would have not happened 2 years ago. I have started doing things I enjoyed as a kid but didn't make time for while working, freshwater/saltwater fishing, hunting,crabbing,. Bought a bike carrier and have done recent trips to cities we haven't been to.  Joined a gym and working on losing weight and getting blood pressure down.Roof stated leaking, 18 months ago I would have freaked out. Now called a roofer and paid to fix it. I'm almost 60 now. There is no guarantee for length or quality of life. I can't control cancer but I can control how I live for now on. Its been a rough 18 months but my wife and I doing pretty good right now.

CRashster's picture
CRashster
Posts: 226
Joined: Mar 2017

thats a lot. After 9/11 we went through a period like that and had 7 funerals in 6 months. It’s a lot to bear. Sorry to hear all that.

JoeyZ's picture
JoeyZ
Posts: 191
Joined: Mar 2018

I'm not quite to where some of you are just yet. It's still too new sometimes. Problems started last Oct. Surgery in March. One good scan after. 

But it changes how I think about things, for sure. All winter, I wondered if I would make it to spring to see the flowers I planted from bulbs. Now this spring, we planted a bunch of perennials and I feel even more confident than before that I will be here to see them again next spring. I hope. I take nothing for granted.

I guess I have learned a couple things along the way.

Mostly I just want to see my family and all the grandkids who are so far away.

Tapman63's picture
Tapman63
Posts: 134
Joined: Dec 2017

I have sure looked a life differently since my diagnosis.  I don't sweat the small stuff.  I'm 55 so I'm on the back nine, regardless...unless I live to be over 110...lol, so I realized I just need to be happy.  De-stress my life.  It's actually led to some very, very hard personal decisions, but I know they're the right ones for me to be able to live with no stress (or at least way less than I did have).  I appreciate every day and want to be with friends and family as much as I can.

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