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Cheese update

CheeseQueen57's picture
CheeseQueen57
Posts: 815
Joined: Feb 2016
So it’s St. Patrrick’s Day. Thirty-three years ago, I met my husband while he was trying to convince me he was Irish at the Green Dolphin in Tucson.  Two years ago I was undergoing surgery for Stage 3 uterine cancer. Each time my life changed in ways that they would never be the same. 

The first year of my illness there was hope for a cure. That gave me the determination and fight to get through the chemo and radiation despite the stroke, eye problems, sacral and lumbar fractures, multiple UTIs, and multiple other stuff I’ve forgotten. 

Now I realize this is always the way it’s going to be. A series of fighting one thing after another as they come up.  I’m never going to be well and not only my life is permanently changed but my husband’s too. So again I’ve got to have a mental adjustment. In a lot of ways, this fight is more difficult because there’s no end (except the ultimate end) in site. 

So as I face this milestone I’m determined to fight the good fight as best I can and accept there will be good days and bad days. And not be jealous or angry because others still have the abilities I don’t. I’ll mourn the things I can’t do but find joy in the abilities I still have. Much easier said than done but with God’s help this is my goal each day. 

Thank you you for all the support for the last 2 years.  I’m still having problems with my beloved stent. I had about 2 weeks without pain and then it’s back again. Oh, and when my blood pressure skyrocketed I had to add yet another pill. I get to see the neurologist after a 4 month wait on the 26th so I’m eager to see what he has to say about the migraines. 

And I don’t mean to be all a “Debbie Downer”.  We had a great time in Florida. I just have to look always for the flowers not the thorns. And I’m getting closer to getting my medical marijuana. I’m hoping it will help. At least maybe my attitude. 
My next CT San is April 24

 

 
ncg007
Posts: 132
Joined: Nov 2015

CQ...sending you hugs and encouragement to continue fighting!  Your fourth paragraph describes my exact feelings too.  I've also applied for my medical marijuana card, it is legal in MI so it is easy to get.  wishing you a good day today and those that follow.

Hopeful162's picture
Hopeful162
Posts: 82
Joined: Sep 2014

Hi CQ, Just to let you know I read your post today and am thinking of you. I remember when you first posted and have been following you all along. I just wish things were easier for you, but thanks for keeping us abreast of your news. Keep on keeping going. We all care about you!

Martha

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1358
Joined: Oct 2015

I'm so sorry, Susan, but wow, what an attitude!!  You sure have had a tough time through all of this but you keep looking for the bright spots.  I'm glad you had a good time in Florida - it's good to get away once in awhile.  Hopefully they can fix those stents so you're not in pain.  I've been thinking of seeing a pain doctor here in Florida for a medical marijuana prescription.  Wisconsin doesn't allow it yet.  Hopefully you'll be able to get yours soon to ease your pain. (((Queen of Cheese)))

Love,

Eldri

Donna Faye's picture
Donna Faye
Posts: 255
Joined: Jan 2017

My journey started aabout when yours did and though yours has been tougher, I know the feelings you expressed. To think I was done in 12/17 to have a recurrence in 2/18 was a kick to the gut. But, like you, I am soldiering on and hoping these rads and cisplatin will make the future brighter.  Remember all the good things you have in family and friends and stay strong, but you can always share how you feel with all of us. We are with you.

May the road rise up to meet you;May the wind be always at your back; May the sun shine softly upon you and may the rain fall softly for you.

Hugs, DF

CheeseQueen57's picture
CheeseQueen57
Posts: 815
Joined: Feb 2016

Wouldn’t have made it without you dear souls. Stay strong warriors. 

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1554
Joined: Jun 2015

Cheese,

Thanks for posting. I wish things were different for you and I'm glad that you are still seeing the good things. No Debbie Downer from you! Just the facts and expressions about this hideous disease. Please stay strong and keep letting us know how you are doing. I think we all share a little piece of each others' hearts. Take care sweet Susan.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

rcdeman
Posts: 256
Joined: Aug 2016

Dear Susan,

Your attitude and strength are so very admirable. I'm sorry that you have to continue to fight this, but I am praying that you will beat this and come out of it stronger. I believe there is always hope for a cure, no matter what people say. It is in God's hands ultimately, but I'm also optimistic about upcoming research and clinical studies that seem promising. Please stay strong. You and all of the ladies on this board are constantly in my prayers.

Love,
Rebecca

linmk's picture
linmk
Posts: 58
Joined: Sep 2017

I admire you for telling it like it is. You are brave. I didn't know that others with uterine cancer had UTIs too. They are awful. I want you to find the flowers. Speaking of flowers, I spotted the first bluebonnets of the season yesterday, and while the grape Kool-Aid smell of the Texas Mountain Laurel is fading, the wisteria and wild flowers are beginning to bloom.

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2597
Joined: Mar 2013

Beautifully written, CQ.  God bless the warriors. 

derMaus's picture
derMaus
Posts: 561
Joined: Nov 2016

Susan, thank you for articulating what so many of us feel. Everyone goes into this focused on surgery, treatment and recovery. It takes everything we have to get through the initial process and we HAVE to focus on believing we'll be cured, or we couldn't do it. Then, unless you're lucky, a recurrence comes along it's made painfully clear that your life isn't going back to normal ever again. It's good for the soul, I suppose, because you're forced to focus on living in - and being grateful for - the moment, but it brings a kind of sadness that no one else can really relate to. I'm eternally grateful for the good folks on this board and how we can pull one another through. God bless, B

Soup52's picture
Soup52
Posts: 902
Joined: Jan 2016

Well saidCheese! Despite the fact that I am doing pretty well, I will never be the same. Ug...and you know no one really understands this unless they have been through it. Keep fighting the good fight :) Prayers for us all!

Tamlen's picture
Tamlen
Posts: 201
Joined: Jan 2018

When I first started visiting this forum in December, a number of women said, "Remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint." So true...but maybe more like an ultra-marathon. Your story highlights that so well. Thanks for your honesty blended with strength and hope, and all the support you give to all of us. Big hug.

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