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Cheese update

CheeseQueen57
CheeseQueen57 Member Posts: 933
So it’s St. Patrrick’s Day. Thirty-three years ago, I met my husband while he was trying to convince me he was Irish at the Green Dolphin in Tucson.  Two years ago I was undergoing surgery for Stage 3 uterine cancer. Each time my life changed in ways that they would never be the same. 

The first year of my illness there was hope for a cure. That gave me the determination and fight to get through the chemo and radiation despite the stroke, eye problems, sacral and lumbar fractures, multiple UTIs, and multiple other stuff I’ve forgotten. 

Now I realize this is always the way it’s going to be. A series of fighting one thing after another as they come up.  I’m never going to be well and not only my life is permanently changed but my husband’s too. So again I’ve got to have a mental adjustment. In a lot of ways, this fight is more difficult because there’s no end (except the ultimate end) in site. 

So as I face this milestone I’m determined to fight the good fight as best I can and accept there will be good days and bad days. And not be jealous or angry because others still have the abilities I don’t. I’ll mourn the things I can’t do but find joy in the abilities I still have. Much easier said than done but with God’s help this is my goal each day. 

Thank you you for all the support for the last 2 years.  I’m still having problems with my beloved stent. I had about 2 weeks without pain and then it’s back again. Oh, and when my blood pressure skyrocketed I had to add yet another pill. I get to see the neurologist after a 4 month wait on the 26th so I’m eager to see what he has to say about the migraines. 

And I don’t mean to be all a “Debbie Downer”.  We had a great time in Florida. I just have to look always for the flowers not the thorns. And I’m getting closer to getting my medical marijuana. I’m hoping it will help. At least maybe my attitude. 

My next CT San is April 24

 

 

Comments

  • ncg007
    ncg007 Member Posts: 136 **
    Fight the fight.

    CQ...sending you hugs and encouragement to continue fighting!  Your fourth paragraph describes my exact feelings too.  I've also applied for my medical marijuana card, it is legal in MI so it is easy to get.  wishing you a good day today and those that follow.

  • Hopeful162
    Hopeful162 Member Posts: 82
    edited March 2018 #3
    Thinking of you

    Hi CQ, Just to let you know I read your post today and am thinking of you. I remember when you first posted and have been following you all along. I just wish things were easier for you, but thanks for keeping us abreast of your news. Keep on keeping going. We all care about you!

    Martha

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,476 **
    I'm so sorry, Susan, but wow,

    I'm so sorry, Susan, but wow, what an attitude!!  You sure have had a tough time through all of this but you keep looking for the bright spots.  I'm glad you had a good time in Florida - it's good to get away once in awhile.  Hopefully they can fix those stents so you're not in pain.  I've been thinking of seeing a pain doctor here in Florida for a medical marijuana prescription.  Wisconsin doesn't allow it yet.  Hopefully you'll be able to get yours soon to ease your pain. (((Queen of Cheese)))

    Love,

    Eldri

  • Donna Faye
    Donna Faye Member Posts: 427
    Know how you feel!

    My journey started aabout when yours did and though yours has been tougher, I know the feelings you expressed. To think I was done in 12/17 to have a recurrence in 2/18 was a kick to the gut. But, like you, I am soldiering on and hoping these rads and cisplatin will make the future brighter.  Remember all the good things you have in family and friends and stay strong, but you can always share how you feel with all of us. We are with you.

    May the road rise up to meet you;May the wind be always at your back; May the sun shine softly upon you and may the rain fall softly for you.

    Hugs, DF

  • CheeseQueen57
    CheeseQueen57 Member Posts: 933
    My Beloved Sisters

    Wouldn’t have made it without you dear souls. Stay strong warriors. 

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,801 **
    Cheese,

    Cheese,

    Thanks for posting. I wish things were different for you and I'm glad that you are still seeing the good things. No Debbie Downer from you! Just the facts and expressions about this hideous disease. Please stay strong and keep letting us know how you are doing. I think we all share a little piece of each others' hearts. Take care sweet Susan.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • rcdeman
    rcdeman Member Posts: 263
    Praying for you! Stay strong!

    Dear Susan,

    Your attitude and strength are so very admirable. I'm sorry that you have to continue to fight this, but I am praying that you will beat this and come out of it stronger. I believe there is always hope for a cure, no matter what people say. It is in God's hands ultimately, but I'm also optimistic about upcoming research and clinical studies that seem promising. Please stay strong. You and all of the ladies on this board are constantly in my prayers.

    Love,
    Rebecca

  • linmk
    linmk Member Posts: 58
    Thank You CheeseQueen57

    I admire you for telling it like it is. You are brave. I didn't know that others with uterine cancer had UTIs too. They are awful. I want you to find the flowers. Speaking of flowers, I spotted the first bluebonnets of the season yesterday, and while the grape Kool-Aid smell of the Texas Mountain Laurel is fading, the wisteria and wild flowers are beginning to bloom.

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 2,928 **
    Beautifully written, CQ.  God

    Beautifully written, CQ.  God bless the warriors. 

  • derMaus
    derMaus Member Posts: 558
    Susan, thank you for

    Susan, thank you for articulating what so many of us feel. Everyone goes into this focused on surgery, treatment and recovery. It takes everything we have to get through the initial process and we HAVE to focus on believing we'll be cured, or we couldn't do it. Then, unless you're lucky, a recurrence comes along it's made painfully clear that your life isn't going back to normal ever again. It's good for the soul, I suppose, because you're forced to focus on living in - and being grateful for - the moment, but it brings a kind of sadness that no one else can really relate to. I'm eternally grateful for the good folks on this board and how we can pull one another through. God bless, B

  • Soup52
    Soup52 Member Posts: 905
    Well saidCheese! Despite the

    Well saidCheese! Despite the fact that I am doing pretty well, I will never be the same. Ug...and you know no one really understands this unless they have been through it. Keep fighting the good fight :) Prayers for us all!

  • Tamlen
    Tamlen Member Posts: 323 **
    Cheese,

    When I first started visiting this forum in December, a number of women said, "Remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint." So true...but maybe more like an ultra-marathon. Your story highlights that so well. Thanks for your honesty blended with strength and hope, and all the support you give to all of us. Big hug.