DX @ 80 and chose to do nothing

NoTimeForCancer
NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,360 Member
in Breast Cancer #1

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.  (I am not going to assume that only women visit this forum)

I'll be honest, I really don't visit the Breast forum, I stay in the gyn cancer boards, but I come to share a different perspective.

I want to tell you about my mother.   

Over the years my sisters and I had caught wind of "breast cancer" but we respected our mother and her privacy.  I think I know why she did it, she wanted all her children to go out and live their lives and worrying about her was not her desire. 

Last week we found out that cancer in her left breast has now spread.  She chose to live with her cancer, and it is 11 years and counting as the tumors grow outward and are visible on her chest, and grow inside to press on her organs.  When I saw her today she said, "no chemicals, no stitches, no regrets".  I told her I agree.  At 91 there is no guarantee that any of the treatments, which all know are hard, would have killed her sooner.  

We don't know how long she has.  I think the hospice nurse is ready to push in the grave, but my mother does things her way.  She is the very essence of resilience and, while this will kill her, she will be her stubborn, witty self.

I pray that they find a cure to ALL cancers. 

Comments

  • JosephK
    JosephK Member Posts: 64
    #2
    Interesting approach. She has

    Interesting approach. She has been living with it for 11 years and did nothing. My partner was diagnosed with it and had chemo, trial treatments and radiation and passed away in 6 years.

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    #3
    Notime

    Your Mom is one strong woman and God bless her, she has lived a long life! I am sorry she has to go through this at her age and that you have to see her suffer. I join you in your prayer for a cure. It is one big roll of the dice with cancer! 

  • Mariangel43
    Mariangel43 Member Posts: 79
    #4
    JosephK said:

    Interesting approach. She has

    Interesting approach. She has been living with it for 11 years and did nothing. My partner was diagnosed with it and had chemo, trial treatments and radiation and passed away in 6 years.

    Sorry to hear that

    I think that the treatment given to cancer patients are too harsh and instead of curing them, they debilitate patients'  bodies.  I heard of another woman who did not accept treatment and she has lived with spreading cancer but she is as resilient as the lady mentioned in this site. Brave women indeed!

  • Mariangel43
    Mariangel43 Member Posts: 79
    #5
    No time for cancer, we will

    No time for cancer, we will pray for your brave and smart mother.  I will admire her.  God bless you all.

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,360 Member
    #6
    Thank you everyone.  Prayers

    Thank you everyone.  Prayers for all the warriors - those diagnosed, their families, and those on the front lines of research.

  • Apaugh
    Apaugh Member Posts: 850 Member
    #7
    prayers

    Prayers going up for your mother.

    Hugs,

    Annie

  • Elaine_wi
    Elaine_wi Member Posts: 124 Member
    #8
    I will keep you in prayer

    I will keep your mother and your family in prayer. My mother is also 91 and does things her way. I think her stubborness has kept her going strong for this long. Every person and every cancer is different and your mom made the best decision for her situation. She is truly one of the "warriors".

  • Beepositive
    Beepositive Member Posts: 259 Member
    edited July 2017 #9

    God Blessing you Mother all these years!! she made the best decision for HER!  I am also one of those parents who dont want to tell my daughter everything that going on and just want her to take care of her kids and not do any uncessary worry about things cant do anything about...I had left breast removal and have breast expander (preparing for implant later after my body heal from radiation treatment)  Im not giving in to anything thats not there...living my life!!!Smile

    GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR MOM!!!

    BEEPOSITIVE

  • LarkAlexis
    LarkAlexis Member Posts: 13
    edited August 2017 #10
    No time for cancer

    LaughingI would love to chat with your mother! I was diagnosed at 57 with Stage 3, and less than a year later with Stage 4 and TONS of bone mets. I said no to chemo, no to radiation. My last scan, 3 years post dx, showed considerable improvement in the bone mets. I don't know how long I'll last, but then, none of us do, do we? I only knew I could NOT do chemo and rads. It is so good to follow our hearts and make our own choices. Best wishes to all of us, no matter what we choose!

  • RozHopkins
    RozHopkins Member Posts: 578 Member
    edited August 2017 #11
    It's her choice.  I must say

    It's her choice.  I must say at a certain age I too would not want treatment.  Bless her and thank you for sharing.  I think she is very brave.

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    edited August 2017 #12
    LarkAlexis said:

    No time for cancer

    LaughingI would love to chat with your mother! I was diagnosed at 57 with Stage 3, and less than a year later with Stage 4 and TONS of bone mets. I said no to chemo, no to radiation. My last scan, 3 years post dx, showed considerable improvement in the bone mets. I don't know how long I'll last, but then, none of us do, do we? I only knew I could NOT do chemo and rads. It is so good to follow our hearts and make our own choices. Best wishes to all of us, no matter what we choose!

    larkAlexis

    So sorry. May I ask how long ago you were diagnosed with the stage 3 breast cancer? Interesting that the mets improved on their own. Did you do any alternarive treatments. 

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