First time talking to anyone outside of family

I'm 48 years old. Have no family history of breast cancer. I had one mammogram about 8 years ago. Been meaning to have another one.

I went to have routine checkup...well I had a UTI that made me go to gynecologist and figured I'd get it out of the way. She gave me a little grief about having mammogram done. Then she checked my breast and stayed in one area for quite a bit. Asking if it hurt. I said no. She said she was going to make the appointment for me. A little concerning but whatever. I didn't feel anything that she was talking about. Probably fibroids, cysts...whatever. 

A couple weeks of miscommunication I finally got my appointment. 3D mam with sonogram. During the sonogram she kept stopping and measuring areas. This doesn't look good. But again, no history I'm good. 

she comes back and says they found three areas to biopsy. 2 masses and lymph node and scheduled it for following week. 

I have it done and then wait 48 hours  btw, I got offered new job and have interviews scheduled. 15 minutes before I leave for 1st interview I get called with results April 12.

A lot of words were said. What I remember is all three positive for cancer. Diagnoses is breast cancer. Didn't understand much else he said, advanced was one word I heard. Will call back with appointments with surgeon, oncologist, radiologist. 

I hung up told my hubby who is visibly upset. I said well, I have to go to my interview. We don't know what's happening and I don't want to miss out on a job. 

I went to interview and nailed it. The whole drive my voice is screaming in my head. Cancer! I didn't have any real information at this point. Nothing that I could understand anyway. I ended up getting the job. And once I had a met with docs I knew enough to share with my employer. I explained that as I wanted this job, I was going to obviously need some time off for a mastectomy. If they are willing to work with me I would prove to be an asset etc... they were willing  and I took the job. 

Well, since then, I've had a mastectomy and recently completed my third round of chemo. Everyone says talking helps. Meeting others who have experienced this will benefit. I've never talked to anyone other than my family. I feel so tired and am tired of feeling this way. I hate that my family worries. I don't want to complain to them and make it worse. So, I keep to myself as much as possible. They can see enough when I'm hurting amd don't need to hear how bad I really feel. 

So this is an area I found to maybe vent a little. I've never really posted anything online before and am not sure what protocol is or what not. 

maybe I'll venture around the board and see what others have to say. 

 

Comments

  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    You are doing exactly what we all do, or most. I will read opini

    Sometime you will get info you don't understand or you may get info you don't want to discuss with family. Especially if they get pretty upset or don't understand what some of it means.  One thing I would not do is read everything on the inet as it is mostly based on statistics.  2 of us may have the samediagnosis, what they don't tell you on line is some who don't make it have other medical issues.  if you get info that you don't agree with, get second opinions or talk to your oncologist. We can tell your our experiences but we are not trained Doctors.

    you I'll get some good info from us survivors but we all reactdifferently to meds and we may have other medical issues that change the way some of the treatments work on each of us so differently.

    Use the site to vent, use it if you are having rough times, you may have tried meds that someone wants to know if you had side effects.  It has been a blessing to be a part of it.  Just don't change meds or do things without consulting your doctors!

    I wish you the best on your journey.  Squally someone on this site will have had some of the meds and wenhelp era bother by telling them our experience with side effects from the meds, but please use your doctors for the important questions or side effects.  Listen to your body!

    Hugs,

    Carol

  • First time talking to anyone outside of family

    If you have any questions about your insurance (if you have it) and breast care products like bras, prostheses, garments, wigs, skincare, please feel free to post. I have not had breast cancer but have worked with breast cancer patients (as a Mammographer) and have been in the DME/Breast Care business for a very long time. I know newly diagnosed women are going through SO much and have a lot to digest in a very short amount of time. Am glad to answer any questions you may have about this topic.

  • Apaugh
    Apaugh Member Posts: 850 Member
    Welcome to the site, sorry you had to find us this way...

    You can vent all you want.  You will find so many topics and opinions on here.  Without these pink ladies, I dont know where I would be.  They ease my fears, they answer questions, encourage me to listen to my docs and give me great ideas on questions to ask and things to do.  Many times, they give me a giggle or two.  Which, in my opinion, can be the best meds you need most days.  They allow me to vent with kindness and patience that we all sometimes just lose. 

    Hugs and prayers going up for you.  Please keep us updated, we all care about you.

    Annie

  • lintx
    lintx Member Posts: 697
    Hi and welcome to the site!

    Seems you're feeling pulled in all directions.  Everything comes at once.  We each have different experiences but remain supportive of one another. Congratulations on the new job!  I like your employer already, being willing to work with your surgery and treatment schedule. That is a huge positive.  Let your DR'S guide you along this journey, and many of us can answer questions based on our experience, as well. Things will settle and adjustments must be made along the way. Please return to vent.  We've been there and still ask advice.  Take care of you. Hugs, Linda 

  • Willowtree1822
    Willowtree1822 Member Posts: 13
    edited July 2017 #6
    Thank you so much! 

    Thank you so much! 

    I have encounted many woman at work who see my head scarf and just speak right up asking if I'm in treatment and just to let me know they have gone through or are going through something similar. I really appreciate that and find it inspiring. That's another reason I sought out this kind of support.

    this week was very rough! My side effects began round one with a three day migraine. doc gave me imatrex for that. round two migraine was controlled with that med. hair fell out day after. then severe muscle and bone pain. Starting at my jaw going down through my ribs.  I tried every drug suggested. Doc finally gave me dilauded. That helped. But certainly can't go to work on that one. :)

    Round three was this week. All the previous side effects, adding serious fatigue. Taste buds are going away and finger tip numbness. Today I went back to work a 10 hour shift. I managed ok, but it was a challenge. 

    My port started hurting out of the blue. Stabbing sharp pain. Earlier this week the neck inscision was inflamed. A stitch was stuck and made it swollen and little infected looking. 

    Today, the chest port itseft was suddenly painful. It will dull, then shap pain out of nowhere again. 

    I called the 24 hour line and on call doc called in antibiotics. The outside looks fine, so I don't know. 

    Ive read others have pain, but none I've seen are similar to this.. I've had the port in for about 8 weeks. They've used it fo all three treatments so far with no problems. 

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    Willow

    First of all, I am sending you a big hug! I also had trouble with the port and they ended up taking it out in emergency surgery.   It might help if you tell us what chemo you are on because it is all different and they have different side effects.  Take good care of yourself!  Drink lots of clean water. 

  • Willowtree1822
    Willowtree1822 Member Posts: 13
    My chemo drugs are

    My chemo drugs are doxorubicin/cxclophosphamide and neulasta

    yesterday no pain. Today starting up again. Like it's hitting a nerve or something. Weird.  Also now my hands feel burned. Red like i pulled a hot pan out of the oven. Geez. Something new each day! Lol

  • Apaugh
    Apaugh Member Posts: 850 Member
    All our bodies handle it differently....

    What works for some, might or might not work for another.  That is why these discussion boards are so helpful....Water water water to flush the toxins out of your system.  Chemo goes in, chemo has to come out.   Please contact your onc to let them know this and how you are feeling. 

    Mine suggested and it was helpful to get some good lotion for your hands and feet, not a salve.  Sadly, to add insult to injury, the lotion they suggested and work the best was Udderly Smooth hand cream. You can get it at your local Dollar store.   I also found it good to soak them in lukewarm water and slowly make it cooler.  You may get blistering of the feet and hands, keep clean.  Mine did it 2 X.  For weeks I had a hard time walking and had to only wear soft soled slippers.  Over time, my palms and the bottoms of my feet peeled all the way off.  That was last year and my feet have remained sensitive since. 

    We are all different on how our bodies handle this.  Make a journal of ea. day and you will find a pattern to be able to combat the side effects. 

    That neulasta, oh it made me so so sick.  Over the counter meds to combat.  I am sure your onc has gave you suggestions.  If not or they are not working, call your onc and let them know and they can make some more suggestions. 

     I ate light and bland.  Such as applesauce, toast,  boiled potatos, cooked veggies such as spinach and greenbeans.  I could not handle milk products at all.  I had to drink warm water to room temp water.  too hot or too cold seemed to make me cramp.  Boulion, chicken noodle soup, watermelon.

     Please keep us updated on how your doing.  My prayers and thoughts are with you through this difficult time. 

    Hugs,

    Annie

  • Willowtree1822
    Willowtree1822 Member Posts: 13
    Thank you!! I appreciate

    Thank you!! I appreciate advice and simply knowing others have been through this too. Makes me feel not

    alone! :))

     

  • U2nora
    U2nora Member Posts: 1
    Just venting

    Joined yesterday, totally new to how to proceed. Logged off too confused after tapping here and there.

    I've been cancer free for almost 2 years. I had the lobular invasive carcinoma. I choose to do the bilateral, according to my husband, I had the look of terror on my face. I don't recall much of those early days after being diagnosed, meeting with the surgeon, choosing an oncologist & radiology doctor plus a plastic surgeon. I recall only that I was in a state of fog, I heard people talking but I wasn't listening, may be a word here & there. I treadmill now, every once in awhile I need help. I share my frustration with my husband, but I sense at times it's too much for him. I tried locating a support group closer to home to meet, learn, and share. They were always way too far( an hours drive away). So, instead I listen to the radio, and every once in a while the song is meant for me. I know I'm not alone. Sometimes the twinges are down right annoying and random, it drives me crazy & to think the worst. Which is a red flag or just healing? I try to busy myself, to keep those thoughts at bay. 

  • Beepositive
    Beepositive Member Posts: 259 Member

    Hello Sorry you are here ...but Im new to this this year..March 2017 just finished my Radiation in June and back working (radiation and anti-horomome pills)

    I have my mamo coming up next week (my 1st 3D one for my remaining right breast) left breast has breast expander (healing from radiation and will have implants in about 6 months)  Its going to be nerve racking do future mamograms ..but i know its important and ..Im counting my blessings.  KEEP LISTENING TO YOUR DOCTORS AND ASK QUESTIONS IM SURE LOT HAS CHANGED SINCE 8 YEARS AGO WITH MEDICATION (HOPEFULLY BETTER AND MORE OPTIONS)

    GLAD YOUR NEW EMPLOYER IS WORKING WITH YOU THAT IS WONDERFUL...MUCH SUCCESS AND PRAYERS TO YOU...REMAIN POSITIVE! FOCUS ON HAPPY THINGS ...THATS WHAT i DO (GRAND KIDS.. MUSIC FAMILY...THERE WILL BE SAD TIMES AND THOUGHTS BUT I REALIZED THAT NORMAL..JUST DONT BEAT YOURSELF OVER IT...Smile  iM LIVING MY NEW NORMAL     BEEPOSITIVE

  • Beepositive
    Beepositive Member Posts: 259 Member
    U2nora said:

    Just venting

    Joined yesterday, totally new to how to proceed. Logged off too confused after tapping here and there.

    I've been cancer free for almost 2 years. I had the lobular invasive carcinoma. I choose to do the bilateral, according to my husband, I had the look of terror on my face. I don't recall much of those early days after being diagnosed, meeting with the surgeon, choosing an oncologist & radiology doctor plus a plastic surgeon. I recall only that I was in a state of fog, I heard people talking but I wasn't listening, may be a word here & there. I treadmill now, every once in awhile I need help. I share my frustration with my husband, but I sense at times it's too much for him. I tried locating a support group closer to home to meet, learn, and share. They were always way too far( an hours drive away). So, instead I listen to the radio, and every once in a while the song is meant for me. I know I'm not alone. Sometimes the twinges are down right annoying and random, it drives me crazy & to think the worst. Which is a red flag or just healing? I try to busy myself, to keep those thoughts at bay. 

    Blessing you are cancer free...Im feeling blessed also that i found my mass early and demanded additional testing! 

    Enjoy life and be thankful...there is always someone worse off then we are.....its hard sometimes with thoughts in your head...but im not claiming anything thats not there!!!  continue to be POSITIVE...LIVE!!!Smile

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    sorry to hear. FROM my

    sorry to hear. FROM my experince I found it best to bring2-3 sets of ears to all appts. There is so much to take in and after a short time (for me) it became a blurr-it was a great help to have others there with me.

     

    Denise

  • LarkAlexis
    LarkAlexis Member Posts: 13
    Willowtree

    Dear Willow, and U2nora!

    It is SO hard, we all can agree to that. I have to agree 100% with Denise (Disney fan)--- if I hadn't had my sister with me at my early appointments, I couldn't have handled it. I, too, was in a fog, and a dense fog at that. And, those closest to us, like husbands, suffer along with us, and they deserve a break too.

    I chose not to do chemo or radiation, so I can't comment there. I did have, though, maybe the worst time ever with my bilat mast, because I developed post surgical neuropathy (PMPS), which is chronic pain that seldom let's me forget the surgery, 3 years ago.

    We are all different, but I do think we are all the same in that we need to do our research and make the choices that WE want, not what anyone else wants. Oh, and computer support groups are great!

    Best wishes, and may this too pass! A S A P - lol!