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Prostrate cancer mestaizied

Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2016

Hi my husband was diagnosed with prostrate cancer that is mestazied to his bones pelvis spine etc. He is taking hormone treatments and chemo . He does not want anyone around and  does not want to  talk  to anyone about it . He was never sick just retired and turged 70 and our whole life changed . We do not have children . I am having a hard time as he is getting angrier and is so touchy.after chemo  he is very tired .he is taking prednisone to. He is incurable but with treatments hope to slow cancer down . He is so mean and saying terrible things to me. He never talked like that to me before . I am actually scared of him . Any suggestions.

VascodaGama's picture
Posts: 3404
Joined: Nov 2010


I am sorry for the situation. It is unpleasant but you need to be strong. I believe that your husband's attitude is due to the medication. The hormonal treatment drives the testosterone to the lowest levels causing side effects typical to menopause, bad mood and fatigue, among many others. We patients on hormonal treatment have experienced such moments (some lesser than others). I recall when shopping arguing with shopkeepers loudly for no reason. At home things weren't pleasant too. It come out of me naturally and surprised me too. I question myself, why is that happening?

My wife served as a breaker. She would tell me when my actions were out of normal, bringing the attitude to my attention. I believe your husband also apprehensive by the facts. He needs to be informed of the medication side effects. If he doesn't listen to you, find one of his friends to talk to him on the side effects but do not let him know that you have instigated such.

He is also suffering for the situation. Losing that manhood is terrible for some guys, in particular when one is fit and doesn't know or understands the cause. Treatments are supposed to cure not to prejudice facts. You can expect things to return to normalcy once the treatment finishes. Chemo also adds more unpleasant side effects. He must be careful with anemia. Be vigilant and check the lipids timely.

"...Hormone therapy does make you quite down, it does make you quite tearful. But you learn to recognise when it’s coming on and you can do things to deal with it....."

In this link you can read on the typical side effects;



I hope other ladies in the forum help with their experiences.

Best wishes for improvements.


Will Doran
Posts: 207
Joined: Sep 2015


Sorry to hear of You & Your Husband's situation.

VGama told you exactly what can and does happen. 

I was on Lupron for two years, post surgery.  My doctors were very good at telling me what to expect and I read as much info as I could so I knew what to expect.  They had my Testostrerone knocked down to 17.  Normal is 250 - 1,100.   The hot flashes were a problem, but I understood that that would happen.  The mood swings were terrible.  I would "fly off" at the least little thing.  I'd realize it and pull back and apologize.  My wife, "God bless her" understood, and had been with me all through the appointments and heard all of what was going to happen.  I am now three years post surgery and I have been off the Lupron for almost a full year.  I'm feeling much better and I don't "fly off" like I had been doing. My testosterone is now back up to 320. So far my PSA is staying down.  I started, when Diagnosed, at a PSA of 69.  Three months post surgery it was at <0.010 and three years later It is still listed as undetectable.  It's now a 0.035.  I still get Hot Flashes even after being off the Lupron for almost a year.  Which I was advised would happen.  My testosterone is still low, but better than it was. I feel much better. My doctors say my testosterone my never come back up to where it was becasue I was on the Lupron for two years. I was listeed as a Stage pT3bN1.  My doctors said it was aggresive because my Gleason had been a 3+4=7.  They said they were going  to be aggresive with my treatmets and they were.  They treated me as if I were a Stage 4.  Robotic Assisted Surgery, Two years of Lupron and 8 weeks of Radiation.    I, also, wanted no one else around or near me (except for my wife).  Especially family. They were all of the mind set that I had been through the surgery and all was well.  Well, that's not the way cancer works.  It's always hanging over your head and thus you never know when it is going to come back.  My doctors have been very good at keeping this entire situation real for me. I got so sick of answering questions over and over, that I wanted to be as far away from people as I could.   I understand completely how your husband feels.  It's very difficult to try and do simple things like open a pickle jar and not have the strength to do those simple tasks.  I was a road cyclist and was out on the roads for two to three hours per day on my bike.  That has been lost.  However I still am able to do 100+ minutes on an indoor trainer / spinner bike per day and have my Physical Therapy Exercise to do and my Weight Training.  If your husband had been an active person, I'm sure he is experiencing the same feelings I had.  You feel like your entire being has been knocked out from under you.  It's very hard at accept.  My wife has been my biggest and best support through all this.  I'd be lost without her. 

Please trust what VGama and I are telling you.  It will get better.  I didn't go through the Chemo like you are saying.  The side effects of the Lupron, which is actually listed as Chemo, were bad enough, and I can't imagine the other Chemo ontop of the Lupron.  My doctors are hopeful that I won't need to go on the "Heavy Duty Chemo".  But we'll see in a couple more months when I have my next batch of blood work.  We are hopeful that if I need further treatment that we can do it with hormone therapy.  I sure hope I don't need to go back on ADT.  But, I'll do what is needed to keep this "Beast at bay".

Do as much research as you can, so you both know what to expect. 

Know that you are both in my Thoughts & Prayers

Love, Peace and God Bless


Posts: 27
Joined: Oct 2016

Hi Jill

I am a newbie when it comes to all of this and I'm reading over Vgama s response to you am reminded to ask to have Toms lipids checked to prevent anemia . Your husbands situation sounds similar to my partners . He is stage 4 and had Gleason score of 4 . The cancer has metastaisized to his spine and pelvis . Four months ago we were riding our bikes in Cape Cod , swimming and enjoying what the next day would bring . Today after three rounds of chemo and Casodex Tom is fighting " the beast " but his energy is waning . He doesn't seem to have extreme mood changes , I know he's down - how could he not be - but he is stoic and only occasionally mentions how he s getting tired of this . He believes that after chemo and hormone treatment he will beat this thing and begin to regain somewhat of his old self .  I figure that anyone who has survived Vietnam already knows what hell is and he's not going to let this thing bring him down . I really don't know what the difference between Lupron and Casodex is ? Could Lupron cause more severe mood swings ? I probably didn't answer your question but just wanted to reach out to you and let you know that youre not alone . Tom has round four of chemo next week . Is your husband on Taxotere ? Tom also gets prednisone which gives him a false surge of energy for about 24 hrs after the shot .As the chemo is cumulative it s really starting to be hard on him . My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this cancer .

Best wishes to you and your husband 



Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2016

I am 68 and had a psa score of 217. Have been on firmagon for about 18 months and my score dropped to 19 after 3 months and is now .015. Mine metastisized to my bones. At first all I took was flomax and a pain killer and i felt great. Then after all the test they started me on firmagon.

The side effects for me are, hot flashes, sweating profusely when working or standing still on a sunny day, constipation that is killer, pain on and off, weight gain, enlargeed breasts, pain at injection site and more.

In hindsight I might not have started as quality of life is more important. I am now thinking of stopping treatment as the side effects are getting a lot worse and I just wnat to go in peace. Not sure how it will work out and have not made the decision yet. I also have a marijuana prescription but not sure if it helps or I am just enjoying it.

Not sure how long I will last but if I stop but here's hoping and if I live a few more years I will be happy if not well.......

DanaGB's picture
Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2016

The cannabis use might be helpful. I live in California where it has been medically legal since 1996 and now recreationally legal as well. I have a good dispensary that focuses on medical only and is not like some hippie dippy head shop.  Far too many are and I think that's a bad thing. It plays into the stereotype and diminishes the<i> proven</i> benefits that cannabis provides. And don't think you need to become a "pot smoker" to consume cannabis. There are multitudes of ways of dosing that do not include smoking the actual herbs. Vaping and edibles are other options. 

Although using the whole plant or whole plant extracts is preferable due to the "Entourage" effect, THC free (the psychoactive part that gets you high) high-concentrated CBD (Canabadiol) sources from Hemp Oil are legal in all 50 states and available online.


Rakendra's picture
Posts: 198
Joined: Apr 2013

Thanks Dana for chiming in.  Ok, I have a very low opinion of chemo and Ht for those people with widespsread bone matastases.  Here is an an old post of mine:


    I have severe matastases diagnosed almost four years ago.  I opted for castration and Bicalutimide.  I had severe side effects and ONLY improved when I stopped taking the bicalutimide.  Your husband is 71.  The side effects of his treatment are destroying his quality of life, his mental state, and, I believe his chances of survival.  Treatment MAY extend life, or it MAY shorten it.  But one thing for sure is that if his negative atitude and side effects keep coming on, his health will surely get worse.  For my uro, I was his only patient who refused treatment and lived more than 30 months.  What in the world is the point of life extension when that life is totally without quality of life?  You need to understand the man you are dealing with now is not the same man he was before treatment.  Read my earlier post and you will see what can happen.  your husband is NOT in control.  The poisons being injected into his body are in control of his brain, his body, his emotions, his health, and his personality.  If can accept his behaviour with love and non-judgement, you will not suffer.  If you support and love him unconditionally and understand he is no longer who you think he is, you will not suffer.

     If you are very daring and want an alternative, try food grade hydrogen peroxide.  There is lots of info on on food grade hydrogen peroxide on many of the other cancer boards here if you search.  Also search Youtube.  I know what you are going thru, and you have my love and support.  If you have questions, ask.  Best of luck to you.

love, Swami Rakendra




Posts: 38
Joined: Oct 2016


I think you've mentioned several alternatives.  Do you have good summary links of your diagnosis, diagnostics, disease evolution and treatments ?   I try to slog through details as much as possible.  Thanks.

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