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Cancer survivor caregiver

aizhan_81
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2016

Hello.My husband was diagnosed with Testicular cancer last April.He got surgery where one go his testiculrs was removed.He started his 3 round of chemo in June.It was tough on everyone because of his sidefffects.I was relieved to find out that his CT Scan was clear after the chemo treatments.We have 2 children (boy 6 and girl 2).I was able to take 3 month off from work to take care of my husband.It wasn't easy to balance all my duties as a caregiver and a mother.I didn't complain when he had his anger outburst and was explaining to my children that daddy is sick and it is his medicines that make him mad.Today after outing to ride bikes.He felt exhausted and blamed me about going biking even if it was his idea.We got into argument.He told me that I don't have to take care of him anymore and went to his room.Couple minutes later I went to check on him and he had his belt tied to our bed's headboard liking he was trying to hang himself.I got so mad and upset!I was crying because my kids should be around it and I am scared.Later on he told me he was messing with me and turned everything around.I don't know what to do?I feel that he is depressed and chemotherapy still affecting him even so the last treatment was over a month ago.

DisplacedYooper
Posts: 2
Joined: Sep 2016

I had no idea that my chemotherapy would have the side effect of hurting others, but it did. My chemo treatments were a year ago and I still struggle with fears of not being able to keep my job, be a good father and etc. Those types of background concerns can keep one one edge, lashing out at loved ones.  My oncologist suggested to talk to my physician. He prescribed medication that helped my moods. Perhaps you could approach your husband's oncologist with your concerns and observations.  Men try to handle things on their own, but that type of surgery and chemo puts the body and mind through huge changes.  It is not shameful to need medication to mentally help get through this type of ordeal.  He needs to hear this from a friend, doctor, pastor or someone else, but not you.  Also, physical therapy helped me because building strength (that is lost during treatment) SLOWLY is important. If the physical therapist pushed me too hard, I could take my anger out on them, not my family. DisplayedYopper 

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