Resentment

david54
david54 Member Posts: 164 Member
edited August 2016 in Emotional Support #1

Hi there-I need to be honest.

I am seething with resentment towards my wifes daughter. She lost custody of her two kids, we had them for 7 months before my wife was diagnosed with cancer. Then they went to live with other relatives. We don't communicate with her much. The damage her daughter caused, the pain, is life altering for everyone, but in particular her two children. She has demonstrated no ownership, no empathy whatsoever. My wife is terminal, I know it, she knows it.

I work hard to take care of her and be supportive.  Just because my wife has terminal cancer doesn't mean the yard doesn't need care, the shrubs continue to grow, grass needs mowing, the appliances breakdown, and it is falling on myself more to problem solve because my wife is too weak.  

I fantasize of what I want to say to my wifes daughter after she dies. I want to rip her a new one. I want to say that as painful and gut wrenching it is to lose my wife, the only solace is that I never have to hear her name again or see her. I want to call her every name I can think of and then more. One cannot fathom the pain she has caused us. My wife has made it clear she does not want her daughter at her memorial service, and I will do my best to honor her request.

Perhaps its time for therapy. These feelings come and go. Nights are hardest, when my wife is upstairs asleep and I am alone with my thoughts.

Thanks for listening.

Comments

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    edited August 2016 #2
    So sorry to hear

    David, so sorry to hear what you're going through. Being a caregiver to someone you love is exhausting and frustrating a good day. Family members with crazy lives don't stop and then suddenly start acting normal and sensible because we're going through horrific stuff (although sometimes I've fantasized about having a remote control where I can put  someone on pause, or fast forward through their drama, or hit mute. So far, no luck). What has worked for me is finding a good counselor to talk with. Also, sometimes caregivers support groups are helpful, too. 

    All the best as you navigate this difficult time. 

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    I hear you

    Why the crazies in the world invade our difficult times is beyond me.

    All I can say is I've heard all my life God takes care of fools and little children.

    I am sorry you are going through this.