Forgive me, especially Molimoli's family

Abbycat2
Abbycat2 Member Posts: 644 Member
in Uterine/Endometrial Cancer #1

I have been off the Board for a while, not because I no longer care, but because I do care and feel deeply the terrible losses we survivors have faced, especially on this Board. You know, I saw it coming- Moli only posting once after her surgery and then SILENCE. And then more silence and more silence.  I just couldn't accept losing yet another extraordinary, beautiful woman on this Board. So I shut down and focused on other things in my life, even though all of you and our beloved Moli were on my mind and in my heart daily. Dear Moli is gone, fiesty Alexander is gone and Ro10- our dear gardener and supporter Ro-who was the 10th woman to post on the Linda-inspired new CSN Uterine Board-GONE. As are so many other women I didn't know- GONE.  I pray that they find themselves now in a peaceful and loving and healthy place.

I spent the month of June caring for a loved one who had a knee replacement and needed care. I balanced my schedule between my caregiving responsibilities and work. It helped some, but darn, I just am crushed losing another person I had come to love.

I hate what this cancer does, how it hurts. I remember reading once in a book, when a young girl lost her older sister to death: "I never knew that a person could be so cleanly and completely cut out of our lives that all that is left is a gaping hole". My heart has a gaping hole right smack in the middle.

Each and every one of you, I embrace and wish for the very best. As for me, soon I will reach 3 years NED since my hysterectomy and I am feeling very good. I have already swam almost 30 miles in July-29.5 miles to be exact- in my effort to fight any possible vagrant cancer cells looking for a permanent home in my gut with lots of family and extended famly keeping it company.  I wish the same good fortune for each of you.

i looked on line and was able to find a photo of dear Moli. She was beautiful inside and out and I will always regret having never met her in person.

With Love,

Cathy

Comments

  • MAbound
    MAbound Member Posts: 1,168 Member
    edited July 2016 #2
    Gotta have a life!

    My escape is picking up where my mom left off with her geneology hobby. It's healthy for all of us not to dwell on the elephant in our lives all of the time and you spent your away time doing a good thing for someone else who needed you. Moli would approve. I'm too new to this board to have known her, but can tell she had a really big impact here. Loss is the risk in caring, but the support we give each other that nobody else can is worth it. Enjoy your time with NED and come back to give us updates because they lift the rest of us. Don't feel guilty for taking time off, we all need to do that and that's the point of what we go through for treatment, isn't it?  God bless you!

  • BC Brady
    BC Brady Member Posts: 70
    edited July 2016 #3
    Abbycat2

    Cathy,

    Beautifully said - raw, honest and lovely. My mom would tell me when we lost someone, "don't fret sweetheart, she has all the answers now".  Celebrate NED - celebrate for all of us. xox

    Billie

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,360 Member
    edited July 2016 #4
    Cathy, I agree that it is

    Cathy, I agree that it is such a blow to lose those we have gotten to know.  For those of us surviving, it isn't just living our lives with minor or significant side effects, it is living with a loss of one of the wonderful warriors takes just another little piece of us and not everyone would understand that.  

    I am so glad to hear you are doing well and you can come and visit as little or much that you want.  Hugs dear Cathy

  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,088 Member
    edited July 2016 #5
    Cathy, I think you spoke what

    Cathy, I think you spoke what most of us feel on these boards.   I, for one, cannot find the words to express myself but you said what I have also been feeling lately. I think about all the ladies on this board.   We laugh, we cry.   And no matter how hard it is sometimes, I am so happy to have met and continue to meet so many wonderful people on these boards.   

    I'm am glad you are doing well and are swimming!   Terrific!   I sink!  lol   

    Hugs!

    Kathy

  • janaes
    janaes Member Posts: 799 Member
    #6
    Sometimes i feel like i need

    Sometimes i feel like i need a break too.  I just want to forget i even have cancer.  It comes and goes for me,  I just went out and had a fun time with my kids at an arcade facility.  there is lots of rides and lazer tag for my kids to do.  It was nice to get away for a couple of hours

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,678 Member
    #7
    Hi, Cathy

    I have had to take periodic breaks from the board when it gets to be too much.  I still read but can't bring myself to interact.  Then I start to feel guilty about not supporting the new people so back I come.  I'm glad you brought the subject up.  It shows how much we are all alike in our feelings.

    Take all the time you need but promise to show up every now and then so we don't worry.  I am still feeling hurt that Moli shut us out at the end.  Of course, she had the right to handle things her way and I can understand because I am a private person.  Nonetheless, it hurt.

     

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,811 Member
    #8
    Cathy,

    Cathy,

    So glad to hear from you. I agree with all of the other comments. This journey does take its toll on us mentally as much as it does physically. And, I would have never believed it is possible to care so deeply for people that we meet on the boards if I didn't experience it first hand.

    Take care and please keep in touch so that we don't worry about you.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • Lily_Anne
    Lily_Anne Member Posts: 39
    #9
    Molimoli

    I'm so shocked, I had some lovely messages from Moli. On another forum I have lost 4 lovely ladies this year I hate cancer

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