Three years NED and in the anger phase of healing... First steps a doozie

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Helen321
Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1

Glad to be alive but my quality of life is something I'm going to have to deal with and work on.  It's very difficult to be this person at 46 years old.  I was in my prime and I got catapulted into fast forward.  I've started therapy about my body image and my physical limitations and my doctor wants me to go to physical therapy at a gym.  Insurance now covers that in some places which is cool.  So clean scan.  Whatever the bleeding was was most likely something else.  Pain is gone so whatever it was passed.  And now for some mental healing and continuing to get on with this thing we call living.

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  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,796 Member
    #2
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    Congratulations!

    Happy Dancing Man (can no longer post since forum upgrade - will try again).

    I hope that your therapy works well, and that you are able to move forward loving your new body, and working with the physical limitations. 

    HUGS!

    SUE

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    #3
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    I hope it makes you feel

    I hope it makes you feel better and helps improve your feelings about this and yourself. Some days I find the after effects to be so mentally challenging. It just wears me out. I think if I could have just one day once in a while to feel normal, kind of like a little holiday. But then I think I'd realize just how crappy I actually feel and it would be so hard to go back to it when the day is over. Tonight I'm cranky about my feet feeling like pins and needles and like they're wearing tight shoes. And because I had to buy a large pair of pants earlier today. After going through all that crap could I just have not had to have the vein issue and the water retention that comes with it? Was that really too much to ask for?

    Anyway, sending you a big hug. You're making a move to get yourself feeling better, good for you! You rock!

    Jan

  • UncleBuddy
    UncleBuddy Member Posts: 1,019 Member
    #4
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    Cyber Hugs

    I'm so sorry that it has been so difficult for you. I hope physical therapy helps. let us know how it goes.

    Lin

  • traci43
    traci43 Member Posts: 773 Member
    edited June 2016 #5
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    Clear scan, well done!

    I'm so happy that you're now three years NED!  Awesome, wonderful, amazing.  So sorry you're dealing with body image issues.  I've been there as well and am going to therapy for it.  I've had a really hard time since getting my colostomy 2 years ago.  So good for you for working on it.  I hope it helps. Traci

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    #6
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    Take Care of You

    Bravo - take those steps and take care of you.  3 years NED is magnificent.  You are a great source of inspiration to all of us.  Instead of thinking of "body image" from the outside, what about from the inside?  You are a strong and supportive person that has just gone through a very tough 3 years, your life has changed, but you are still here.  From the inside the image is pretty great - build on that!

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,280 Member
    #7
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    Keep on keepin' on, Helen,

    Keep on keepin' on, Helen, nobody gets to stay the same, change is a universal fact for all, it just comes harder to some. Consider getting a heavy bag, and beating the hell out of it at regular intervals, because that's what I'm getting this week, and I know it works for me.............................Dave

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
    #8
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    Thanks.  There are good days

    Thanks.  There are good days and bad.  Today is a good day.  You take them as they come.  I'm very greatful for all of you.  You have made this whole situation a lot more easy to deal with.Laughing

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
    edited July 2016 #9
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    traci43 said:

    Clear scan, well done!

    I'm so happy that you're now three years NED!  Awesome, wonderful, amazing.  So sorry you're dealing with body image issues.  I've been there as well and am going to therapy for it.  I've had a really hard time since getting my colostomy 2 years ago.  So good for you for working on it.  I hope it helps. Traci

    Me too.  I'd even be okay

    Me too.  I'd even be okay with the ostomy most days although some days I miss my old body so much.  The APR and the changes that followed have just been a shock.  Therapy helps but the person can't really relate so it's still very difficult.  One foot in front of the other I guess.

  • RickMurtagh
    RickMurtagh Member Posts: 587 Member
    edited July 2016 #10
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    Helen321 said:

    Me too.  I'd even be okay

    Me too.  I'd even be okay with the ostomy most days although some days I miss my old body so much.  The APR and the changes that followed have just been a shock.  Therapy helps but the person can't really relate so it's still very difficult.  One foot in front of the other I guess.

    hah

    Hah, it woud have to be my body from my 20s or 30s for me to miss it.  I was 278 when I found out I had cancer, just stopped having chronic back pain that plagued me for years.  I'll take this body with the ileo and all it's leeks thank you very much.  

    One foot in front of the other....

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    #11
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    Happyness

    It is only we ourselves that can make us happy. In the movie "stir crazy" Gene wilder was hung from the floor and ceiling with chains to his arms and legs.  This was the wardens punishment.  When they came to let him down,he said "can I stay for a day or more, my back has never felt so good!!!"  Life can throw us pain, problems,etc. , but it cannot make us unhappy.  Only we can do that!  Congrats on 3 yrs Ned.

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