Horrible Twist

marbleotis
marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member

I have been on this site a few years updating all at times - I am NED 4 1/2 years.  Just living life.  Was able to see my daughters graduate through Masters programs and my older daughter married this past Nov.  I am doing well, clean everything, great CEA's.

My new son in law was having some symptoms, including bleeding and went for his colonoscopy today and........it is cancer.  No that cannot be he is only 28 and they are only married 6 months.  They may do rad/chemo before surgery to shrink then remove, then more chemo.  I am so concerned for him, his health, my daughter, their future plans for a family.  My cancer was on the ascending side (right) his is on the left lower, not totally at the bottom I believe. 

OMG I cannot believe this is being re-visited on my family.

My head spins, I just looked at my daughter and wanted to cry and cry and cry....  I know what he will be going through in the up coming months.  No 28 year old should have this.

Any advise - very appreciated.

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Comments

  • Momma with a Bentley
    Momma with a Bentley Member Posts: 4
    edited June 2016 #2
    My heart breaks for you and your family

    Such heartbreaking news for your entire family as we know cancer effects everyone, not solely the person being diagnosed. How scared you must be as you know the toll it takes on a relationship. I feel with your support and guidance they will have an easier transition through all the necessary protocol than most. His age indicates he is young and strong - he will get through this with grace and it will help grow him and his new wife's relationship farther, and love harder. I believe I'm my heart that they 'got this'. My intuition is usually right.  Trust, believe and always stay positive. Please pass along my prayers of strength and hope.  

    PS: There's healing through tears - especially after surgery. My colon cancer was located on the lower left. Following surgery I learned quickly that I could heal my incision from the insides out throught tears AND laughter - they each used different muscles. It hurt like hell, but I think I healed faster because it. Find a way to create laughter and encourage the tears. 

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,280 Member
    I'm sorry, no real advice

    I'm sorry, no real advice since you know this path he has to take, just my agreeing that a couple starting out shouldn't have to deal with this crap. He's young and will handle treatment better, and science is moving ever closer to breakthroughs that may change the rules for him, so hold on, hang tough, and give them all the help you can...............................................Dave

  • lizard44
    lizard44 Member Posts: 409 Member
    So sorry

    There have been so many reports of younger people getting colorectal cancer. It's saddening and  shocking to  think of young people just starting out having to go through the treatments and surgery your new son-in-law is facing. I hope that his youth  will help him handle the reatment well, and since you have made that journey,  you and your daughter have some insight and  will be better able to support him during his treatment. It sounds as though  they may have caught his cancer early- I hope so. Has he hd a CT scan or  PET scan?

    As Dave said, there are new breakthroughs in treatment all the time. I've also read some studies reporting that  in many cases  people with left-sided colon cancer have a better prognosis than those with right sided cancer.  I hope that's true in your son-in-law's case. I'm sending positive thoughts to you and your family. And please continue to take good care of yourself, don't allow the stress and worry to become overwhelming and undermine your health.

    Grace/lizard44

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    lizard44 said:

    So sorry

    There have been so many reports of younger people getting colorectal cancer. It's saddening and  shocking to  think of young people just starting out having to go through the treatments and surgery your new son-in-law is facing. I hope that his youth  will help him handle the reatment well, and since you have made that journey,  you and your daughter have some insight and  will be better able to support him during his treatment. It sounds as though  they may have caught his cancer early- I hope so. Has he hd a CT scan or  PET scan?

    As Dave said, there are new breakthroughs in treatment all the time. I've also read some studies reporting that  in many cases  people with left-sided colon cancer have a better prognosis than those with right sided cancer.  I hope that's true in your son-in-law's case. I'm sending positive thoughts to you and your family. And please continue to take good care of yourself, don't allow the stress and worry to become overwhelming and undermine your health.

    Grace/lizard44

    Thanks

    All the scans are being scheduled, fast and furious.  I am so upset because I know first hand what they are up against.  I am heartbroken

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member

    I'm sorry, no real advice

    I'm sorry, no real advice since you know this path he has to take, just my agreeing that a couple starting out shouldn't have to deal with this crap. He's young and will handle treatment better, and science is moving ever closer to breakthroughs that may change the rules for him, so hold on, hang tough, and give them all the help you can...............................................Dave

    Thanks

    Thanks

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    edited June 2016 #7

    My heart breaks for you and your family

    Such heartbreaking news for your entire family as we know cancer effects everyone, not solely the person being diagnosed. How scared you must be as you know the toll it takes on a relationship. I feel with your support and guidance they will have an easier transition through all the necessary protocol than most. His age indicates he is young and strong - he will get through this with grace and it will help grow him and his new wife's relationship farther, and love harder. I believe I'm my heart that they 'got this'. My intuition is usually right.  Trust, believe and always stay positive. Please pass along my prayers of strength and hope.  

    PS: There's healing through tears - especially after surgery. My colon cancer was located on the lower left. Following surgery I learned quickly that I could heal my incision from the insides out throught tears AND laughter - they each used different muscles. It hurt like hell, but I think I healed faster because it. Find a way to create laughter and encourage the tears. 

    Thanks

    Thanks - he has a dry sense of humor - which will come in handy with the cancer crap.  I need to keep my daughter strong - this is a horrible ride ahead

  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
    Sorry to hear this...

    This is something I think about constantly with my young adults, ages 24 & 28. My daughter just went for a yearly check-up and told her doc about her heredity concerns with colon cancer even though she has no symptoms. He sent her home with a kit to send a stool sample to a lab. He would like to at least monitor yearly that there is no blood in the stool.

    I believe that you will be a huge support system for your son-in-law and daughter. Who better to turn to than someone who understands and fights the good fight everyday. 

    Ellen

  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
    Marble

    My heart goes out to you. This shock and disbelief is what I felt when Ron was diagnosed with H&N cancer after watching Johnnybegood suffer for so long. The reaction of "how can this be happening again in my family". There is just no answer.

    Remember though, that you are a shining example of the positive outcome possible. I hope that this will give him some comfort.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    your experiences will help

    It is hard to understand that a person his age can be visited with this. 

    Your experiences will be of invaluable help to him and your daughter.  You can help them understand the ropes of tests, dr. visits, the need to write down questions, to be an advocate, etc.

    Hopefully they will suggest that he collect sperm for freezing before radiation or chemo, to help preserve their hopes for a family of their own.

    Wishing all of you the best outcome.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    Thank goodness he has you to

    Thank goodness he has you to assist in any medical jargon or potential treatments or any other questions about it. That's one thing this crap tends to do is make experts out of us when it comes to cancer. Or at least we become more knowledgeable than the average person. And there's nothgin like talking to someone who has been through it rather than the experts with all their stats. Poor guy, how scary for them. I'm glad they caught it relatively early, too often young people go undiagnosed for too long.

    I hope he beats it and is well soon!

    Jan

  • UncleBuddy
    UncleBuddy Member Posts: 1,019 Member
    I'm so sorry...

    It just seems so unfair. Thank God you'll be around to help them understand how to maneuver this awful disease and its treatment.

    I hope he's able to become NED very quickly.

    Lin

  • zx10guy
    zx10guy Member Posts: 273 Member
    Sorry about the news about

    Sorry about the news about the son in law.

    One thing I recommend to be done now and this is not often discussed because Colon Cancer is an old person's disease, right?  You need to make sure your daughter and son in law take a serious look at sperm banking.  It's a difficult subject to deal with especially in this situation.  But the time window is going to shrink drastically the longer they wait to tackle this.  Of course it's assuming they want to have kids.

    I had only a week to deal with this before I started chemo treatment after my surgery.  I can readily identify with what they're going through.  I proposed just over a month prior to being diagnosed.  In the end, we didn't need to leverage the banked sperm.  We were fortunate to conceive naturally and with a healthy baby.  One of the biggest fears was genetic defects due to the 5FU treatment.  My oncologist said wait at least a year but he said others in the profession have recommended 2 years as there simply hasn't been any tracking of patients who are still in the years where they are likely to have children.  My wife didn't want to wait the full year after I ended treatment.  She got pregnant about 8 months after my treatment ended.

    As an aside, I've never heard of radiation used for treating standard colon cancer...only for rectal cancer.

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    edited June 2016 #14

    Thanks

    Thanks - he has a dry sense of humor - which will come in handy with the cancer crap.  I need to keep my daughter strong - this is a horrible ride ahead

    ride

    I agree, it is a bumpy ride, but it is doaable.  Like you ,he will become NED especially since he is so young!  Good Luck to you all.

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    zx10guy said:

    Sorry about the news about

    Sorry about the news about the son in law.

    One thing I recommend to be done now and this is not often discussed because Colon Cancer is an old person's disease, right?  You need to make sure your daughter and son in law take a serious look at sperm banking.  It's a difficult subject to deal with especially in this situation.  But the time window is going to shrink drastically the longer they wait to tackle this.  Of course it's assuming they want to have kids.

    I had only a week to deal with this before I started chemo treatment after my surgery.  I can readily identify with what they're going through.  I proposed just over a month prior to being diagnosed.  In the end, we didn't need to leverage the banked sperm.  We were fortunate to conceive naturally and with a healthy baby.  One of the biggest fears was genetic defects due to the 5FU treatment.  My oncologist said wait at least a year but he said others in the profession have recommended 2 years as there simply hasn't been any tracking of patients who are still in the years where they are likely to have children.  My wife didn't want to wait the full year after I ended treatment.  She got pregnant about 8 months after my treatment ended.

    As an aside, I've never heard of radiation used for treating standard colon cancer...only for rectal cancer.

    radiation

    It is used to shrink the tumor prior to surgery to remove it. Or possibly remove the tumor.

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    edited June 2016 #16
    zx10guy said:

    Sorry about the news about

    Sorry about the news about the son in law.

    One thing I recommend to be done now and this is not often discussed because Colon Cancer is an old person's disease, right?  You need to make sure your daughter and son in law take a serious look at sperm banking.  It's a difficult subject to deal with especially in this situation.  But the time window is going to shrink drastically the longer they wait to tackle this.  Of course it's assuming they want to have kids.

    I had only a week to deal with this before I started chemo treatment after my surgery.  I can readily identify with what they're going through.  I proposed just over a month prior to being diagnosed.  In the end, we didn't need to leverage the banked sperm.  We were fortunate to conceive naturally and with a healthy baby.  One of the biggest fears was genetic defects due to the 5FU treatment.  My oncologist said wait at least a year but he said others in the profession have recommended 2 years as there simply hasn't been any tracking of patients who are still in the years where they are likely to have children.  My wife didn't want to wait the full year after I ended treatment.  She got pregnant about 8 months after my treatment ended.

    As an aside, I've never heard of radiation used for treating standard colon cancer...only for rectal cancer.

    Update

    It is rectal cancer.  I had colon cancer.  I am learning they are different.  Thanks for your kind words!

  • traci43
    traci43 Member Posts: 773 Member
    edited June 2016 #17
    My heart aches

    for your family.  That is far too young and so soon after getting married. I hope they have caught it early and that radiation is not needed. My husband and I were only married 18 months when I was diagnosed, but we were 10 years older.  It's hard but as others said will help to solidify their relationship.  For me keeping things as normal as possible really helped.  I kept my job, but took off 6 months for the post-surgery chemo. I insisted my husband continue on with his MBA program.  When I had recurrences I just kept working and took off time for the infusions.  It helped me to believe that I was going to make it despite the odds.

    Hug them both tight, help where you can, and keep us posted.  I hope the surgery goes well and that it was caught early. Traci

  • zx10guy
    zx10guy Member Posts: 273 Member

    Update

    It is rectal cancer.  I had colon cancer.  I am learning they are different.  Thanks for your kind words!

    Then it's more imperative

    Then it's more imperative they figure out how they want to handle having any future children.  There is a decent chance the radiation treatment will cause sterility.  Whether things will return to normal depends on a lot of factors but count on at a minimum a reduction of sperm count and possibly quality of sperm.  The other side effect which is not spoken of very often is the actual operation.  There is a decent chance the operation will cause some nerve damage depending on the location of the tumor which will cause lack of function with that particular body part.  All of this is on top of the standard chemo drug treatment of 5FU which I've already discussed above.

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    Update

    This afternoon we go to meet Rad/Onc.  My son in laws CT scan was this morning so not sure if they will have the results by our meeting.

    Something tells me they will have the results - this is what will tell us the staging.  I was a 3b signet cell.

    I am more anxious for this meeting then for any of my own over the last almost 5 years.

    Please keep good thoughts

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    Praying for him. I hope it's

    Praying for him. I hope it's good news or at least not bad news.

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    The Update

    Well the update - CT scan show suspicious spots in liver, so a liver MRI next week to find out.  In the mean time they are taking the correct steps to pertect fertility.  Sad to have to think about it but it must be done now.  They need to be smart.

    I am at a loss............if the scans show liver involvement it sucks really bad.  They are just married 6 months.

    The months ahead will be very rough.  My family should have been done with this.  I am just filled with anger/upset/disbelief.  We must fight again and even harder.

    Thanks for listening and all advice is appreciated as my colon cancer was different and I need to get smarter on rectal cancer and what can be expected.