Mom Newly Diagnosed with Lung Cancer- My Wedding is in 5 Weeks :(

BB6416
BB6416 Member Posts: 2
in Caregivers #1

I just learned within the past week that my mom has stage II to III small cell lung cancer. I'm getting married in 5 weeks so, while there's never a good time to receive news like that, this is really horrible timing.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation to this?

On top of normal emotions of receiving news like this, I am struggling with keeping joy and excitement for my upcoming wedding. Of course I'm so looking forward to marrying an amazing guy, but its hard to feel really happy about it when in the back of my mind this diagnosis is lurking.

I had my bachelorette party this past weekend, and while I had a great day, I ended up in tears at the very end of the night because the emotions caught up with me and some of my bridesmaids didnt know yet.

I know I'm really fortunate that I'll likely still have my mom at my wedding. My half-brother lost his mom a year and a half before his wedding so he wasn't so fortunate. But am really sad that she may not feel really well that day and worry the side effects of chemo will prohibit her from being able to be there the whole time.

Tips on remembering and focusing on the joy of my wedding and not letting my relationship suffer with my fiance as well?

Comments

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil Member Posts: 197
    #2
    Life is confusing sometimes. 

    Life is confusing sometimes.  I think you should allow the joy of the wedding and the grief of your mom's illness to both dwell you.  On a daily basis or momemt by moment.  Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings arise.  It is tough what you are gong through.  There is no easy A, B, C this is what you should do in this situation answer.  Sorry you are here.  Hugs!

  • brissance
    brissance Member Posts: 192
    #3
    Been There

    My mom was dying with lung cancer and the family knew it.  I was engaged but no date no ring.  I then realized that the greatest gift for me and for my family (both present and future) was to assure mom could attend.  We geared up and 3 weeks later we were having a wedding at my family home.  Small but beautiful.  Mom could sit in her "comfy chair" and spent part of the post wedding festivities in her hospital bed with oxygen drinking punch and eating cake.  She was radiant.  My wedding was beautiful.  And the best part she helped start my family.  Although she passed before my kids arrived they know the grandma stories.  I wish she were still here but the best decision I ever made was to have that wedding early and to scale down to allow her to not only attend but enjoy it.

     

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,482 Member
    #4
    brissance said:

    Been There

    My mom was dying with lung cancer and the family knew it.  I was engaged but no date no ring.  I then realized that the greatest gift for me and for my family (both present and future) was to assure mom could attend.  We geared up and 3 weeks later we were having a wedding at my family home.  Small but beautiful.  Mom could sit in her "comfy chair" and spent part of the post wedding festivities in her hospital bed with oxygen drinking punch and eating cake.  She was radiant.  My wedding was beautiful.  And the best part she helped start my family.  Although she passed before my kids arrived they know the grandma stories.  I wish she were still here but the best decision I ever made was to have that wedding early and to scale down to allow her to not only attend but enjoy it.

     

    Patty, what a beautiful thing

    Patty, what a beautiful thing you did for your mother.

    Love,

    Eldri

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