On this day....

I am sure all or most of you have a Facebook account. On This Day is an interesting thing. It reminds us where we have been and in some cases how far we have come. I checked mine this morning and was reminded of this....

2 years ago today, I had an appointment to meet with a new oncologist. My previous one had left and I was assigned one sight unseen. It was not a good "blind date". First impressions started with being left hanging for 2 months on important test results. I fell through the cracks and he failed to give me information I needed in a timely manner. I was not impressed before I walked in and certainly not as I walked out. 

When he walked into the exam room. He shook my hand and had hardly closed the door before he told me my cancer was back. He then went on to state that since I was 58 years old and it was an early onset recurrence, there was nothing they could do other than try and keep me alive and comfortable as long as possible. According to him I was considered stage 4 terminal. 

His words broke me but somehow I was still able to ask to see the scans and then question how a small less than 1/2 inch tumor that was not attached to any organ was not worthy of aggressive treatment. I was told it was inoperable and would mean life long chemo in hopes of extending my life for as long as possible. He told me no surgeon would risk operating on me again. When one gets this kind of news they should not have to fight for their rights for treatment. But I somehow found the strength to do it and today I am still here. I pushed to see my surgeon from my first diagnosis, when I met with him he was not concerned about doing surgery and went in and took the little "grape" out a few days after our appointment. He also helped me get a new oncologist. I do not know what he said on my behalf but I now see the head of the oncology department. She recommended the most aggressive chemo after surgery and for 6 months I lived through that treatment because I was fighting for my life. 

This day 2 years ago was a hard day. It left me scarred. I still suffer from and am in treatment for PTSD from the shock of that heartless diagnosis. I also have a lot of emotional triggers from the years of going through cancer tests and treatment. I don't have to tell all of you that living every day with the unknown takes its toll. 

But I am here. I am alive and HE WAS WRONG. I have no clue what tomorrow will bring. I start back with all my every 6 month tests again in January, they will tell me what the next stage of my life will hold. But if I had listened to him 2 years ago, I would most likely be dead now. The last 2 years have had their challenges but they have also been amazing. They were worth fighting for. 

I share this because I want everyone to understand how important it is to fight for yourself. Advocate for your rights. Drs are human, they can be wrong or just not good Drs. If you or the life of someone you love is dependant on their decision. Don't blindly follow their lead. You have a right to be part of your own treatment with a Dr you feel confident in. Fight for it. Your life could depend on it.

MAlice

Comments

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
    Amen!

    Thank you for the inspiring story of you taking control and advocate for yourself. You are right, we have to empower ourself and find out all of our options. I want to know that I have done everything I could to get better.

    Laz

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    I am so glad you were

    I am so glad you were proactive and didn't just cave in to his diagnosis and (lack of) treatment plan. It's an improtant reminder for all of us. Thank you. May you continue to enjoy good health!!

    Jan

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,796 Member
    Good for you!

    Sometimes you're the only one who can take a stand, and if it irks your provider, then time to find another one. 

    Continue standing up for yourself, even to standing up to yourself, because sometimes we need to treat ourselves right before other people do. 

    Sue - Trubrit

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    Excellent Advice

    Wow, when I read your story I could feel my blood pressure rise.  What nerve, what an idiot to treat you so callous.

    I have been lucky with my medical team - they were all great and treated me like I was their only patient.

    Your story should also help any people new to this arena to get a 2nd, 3rd and 4th opinion if necessary, you have the power and you must be your own advocate.

    You inspire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,280 Member
    That story gave me shivers

    That story gave me shivers MAlice, doctors without tact and empathy shouldn't be doctors. Glad you made it through that to be here today with another reminder of our need to advocate for ourselves, thank you.............Dave

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    fighting

    I too fired the oncologist I was assigned.   His replacement is a real gem!  And your age is irrelavant!!! I was 77 when first diagnosed. 

    Now NED some 6 yrs later I;m currently 83, expecting to live to 90.  Best of luck to you.

  • NewHere
    NewHere Member Posts: 1,427 Member
    Chilling

    I feel fortunate I wound up with the doctors I did.  The initial surgeon I met with was way too new at this and I am pretty sure I would be in big trouble right now if I went with him.  The surgeon I did go to is high up at MSK and a leader in the field.  And the scans did not show how complicated it was before the surgery.  It took longer and was further advanced.  My oncologist has been nothing but positive.  From the first visit, he was straight up about stats and the rest.  And he was unequivical in saying "Even if this comes back or mets, you are in good health, we will take care of it."