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Posts: 773
Joined: Apr 2012

With the holiday season upon us, how do you deal with the lost of your loved one and one that has been a part of your life for 55 years?  I just lost my husband 4 months ago to this horrible beast called cancer and I do realize that the first holiday is the hardest they say.  My youngest son and his family want me to come to their home for Thanksgiving but I just don't feel like I can and enjoy the season without my husband but then again I don't want to be alone.

How do those that have been thru this already handle it?

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1329
Joined: Apr 2009

This is my 3rd holiday season without Ron(after 41 years) and my 2nd without my daughter Debbie(Johnnybegood). Every holiday season so far has been hard, just as each day is hard. I cannot get into the spirit of it all. We are supposed to be thankful for what we have. I am still searching for something to be thankful for. I am not really living, just existing.

There will be no more delicious dinners prepared by my husband, no more phone calls from my daughter, no more looking at light displays, and no more anticipation of Christmas morning. I no longer have any faith and there is nothing for me to celebrate.

I don't have a large support system, but I would suggest you go. You can always leave early if you are uncomfortable.



Posts: 773
Joined: Apr 2012

For me there is extra worrying too.  Youngest son who had a kidney removed 6 1/2 years ago to cancer, now has something suspicious on his remaining kidney.  They are doing testing right now.  Was supposed to have a CT with contrast (something they don't like to do on patients with only one kidney) and a cystscope on 12/1 but someone dropped the ball and now the tests aren't scheduled to 12/9.  So more worrying and wondering time for him, his wife, kids and me.

I know what you have been thru from the head and neck section and I pray that you can get thru the season without too much grief.  While I do have my sons, they don't live close to me and some feel not that much need to call and check.  Grandchildren who are grown have their own lives to life, and I only hear from 2 of them on occasion.  It is hard and the adjustment to being by yourself is hard and for all those that haven't been thru it, they just don't get it.


Posts: 65
Joined: Jun 2017

I fear this holiday season. This will be the 1st without her. She loved the holiday season so much. I knew last year would be her last and I tried so hard to make it nice for her. I recommend to anyone if you have family close by to go there. Don't deprive yourself . I'm sure you can get support as they will know you are grieving. For those who don't have much support, volunteer your time to helping the less fortunate. It may give you sense of making someone else happy plus it may give you an opportunity to make new friends. You may actually run into someone that is in the same situation as you.

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