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tkmj914's picture
tkmj914
Posts: 43
Joined: Jul 2015

Hi all, I am so grateful to have found this site. I had an MRI for a uterine fibroid and they found a mass on my left kidney. A week later I had laparoscopic hand assisted nephrectomy. a 5.2 cm stage 1 grade 3 tumor was encased in the bottom of my kidney, margins were clear and pathology stated the it had to be grade 3 although most was grade 2 there were a couple places that were grade 3. Surgery went well on July 6th and I am doing better every day. The problem I am having is with anxiety, I already was diagnosed years ago with situational anxiety and have been able to manage it fairly well but this has thrown me for a loop. I can't seem to get a handle on it, this situation has caused such fear. I am lucky in that I have always been healthy and never had surgery before this. Is this a normal reaction? It all happened so fast and came out of nowhere plus the fear of scans every three months is so scary as well. I know I sound like a looney, all over the place! Any advice, words of wisdom would be so appreciated as i flounder down this new road, I am 49. Thank you in advance.

icemantoo's picture
icemantoo
Posts: 3216
Joined: Jan 2010

tk,

 

It is enough to scare the sh-- out of anyone, being told out of the blue that you have kidney cancer and the first thing they want to do is yank out your kidney. Your reaction and feelings are perfectly normal. You will gradually feel better each day although 3 weeks out you still have a bit of pain especially if you want to do something strenuous. Mine was at a much older 59 and I plan on being around for at least another 10 or 15 years. Tommorrow is 13 years since my neph. Lucky 13. May you have an unevenful recovery so that you can help me with the newbies down the road.

 

 

Icemantoo

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1946
Joined: Mar 2014

The anxiety is awful; I agree. Initially I coped with it by taking .25 mg Xanax twice a day. It took the edge off and allowed my mind to dwell on other things like recovering. I still rely on Xanax on bad days when the anxiety kind of overwhelms me. My pathology was the same as yours. Stage 1 but grade 3 because they always go with the higher grade cells present. That is what scared the hell out of me: the high grade. And it still does but now the worst times are when I have to go for scans and x-ray every six months. Wishing you a nice uneventful and speedy recovery and don't be afraid to ask your doctor for a anti-anxiety meds. That's what they're there for.

tkmj914's picture
tkmj914
Posts: 43
Joined: Jul 2015

Thank you for the kind words. It sure does scare the day lights out of ya!!

Positive_Mental_Attitude's picture
Positive_Mental...
Posts: 454
Joined: Jul 2014

You reaction is 100% normal.  I was a mess after the diagnosis and before the surgery.  I had a small grade II tumor removed last July, and I have been fairly OK after the surgery, but every little ache and pain I have causes me to think if it has something to do with the kidney tumor or the surgery.  My anxiety has diminished over the last year, since I have 2 clean scans.

tkmj914's picture
tkmj914
Posts: 43
Joined: Jul 2015

Glad to hear, thank you. I'm so happy for you and the clean scans!

Footstomper's picture
Footstomper
Posts: 1238
Joined: Dec 2014

TRY JUST getting through each moment, Put your cancer in a rational box and have a look in from time to to time when you feel like it. Deal  with each problem as it presents itself

This is going to soung crazy but it really is and iddy biddy little lump. Mine was 10cm when discovered. Good luck.

tkmj914's picture
tkmj914
Posts: 43
Joined: Jul 2015

Thank you Footstomper!

jason.2835
Posts: 337
Joined: Nov 2014

I cried like a baby four or five times that first night after I saw the MRI report... But now that it's out and I'm almost to a year NED I must agree with His Stompness... Take it one issue at a time.  You never want to lose sight of it because, obviously, it hit you like a Mack truck once and you'd prefer that not happen again.  HOWEVER, it is important to take some mental time off.  You kind of get in a rhythm with the doctors and learn to take it one scan, one treatment (if necessary) at a time.  I wish I could tell you that the anxiety eventually goes away completely but it's easier to temper it at certain times rather than eradicating it completely.  Cancer will walk with you forever.  It's up to you whether you make it a boulder on your back or a little good luck stone you carry in your pocket.

- Jay 

tkmj914's picture
tkmj914
Posts: 43
Joined: Jul 2015

Thank you Jay, I think I will do my best to make this as positive as I can. I know that although it was just like a Mack truck nailing me, I am lucky that it was caught incidentally and early and is out of me. I will try to focus on that as it could have been much worse. One thing at a time.... Thank you for the wisdom.

Melanie

Yeric
Posts: 65
Joined: May 2015

Yeah, the 'staff' here is fantastic.  Glad to have you.

 

Bobby

tkmj914's picture
tkmj914
Posts: 43
Joined: Jul 2015

Thank you Bobby.

NewDay's picture
NewDay
Posts: 273
Joined: May 2012

tkmj,

I was a basket case when I first got on the rollercoaster.  When the anxiety is bad, keep repeating to yourself, "I just have to get through today, just today."  Don't hesitate to talk to your doctor about getting antianxiety meds.  You may not have to take them forever, but need something just to get through these frst few months.  It does get better.  You will reach a point where it does not consume you.  It will always be in the back of your mind, but will eventually not be all consuming.

Kathy

tkmj914's picture
tkmj914
Posts: 43
Joined: Jul 2015

Thank you Kathy, I already deal with anxiety so I have meds I just hate to take it. I am doing alright as long as I don't think too much about it. The entire thing is just so stressful. so glad to hear that it gets better.

Melanie

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