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82 year old grandmother goes in for surgery tomorrow morning.

Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2013

I am new to this site, I have been looking for some advice. My grandmother is 82 years old. She has been diagnosed with (early) stage 4 breast cancer. Early meaning they have been able to contain it in one breast, where 3 months ago it started moving into her lungs. They gave her medication to reduce the spot that was forming in her lung. With alot of prayers and good faith, the spot shrunk and disappeared. Now, she is going in for a masetcamy tomorrow morning. Her breathing compacity is only at 50%. And the oncologist is hesitant, saying that he fears that she will not come off life support after the surgery. Even though they fear that, all doctors (sense we got 4 different opinions) agree that the surgery is best, with out it, the cancer is life threatening. The surgery will not be followed up with any Chemo or radiation treatment. She is a smoker and has COPD and NEVER wears her oxygen unless she is sleeping at night (sense she smokes). I am scared to lose her tomorrow. I know I have to put a smile on and tell her that we will pull through this together. I don't know how to support my husband as this is his grandmother. (we lived with them while his grandfather went through Alzheimer's). I have grown verry close with them, so I do consider her my family. However, my husband is not one to show emotion or feel the need to have to be supported by someone else. How do I help my family in this time of need, especially if something does go for the worst. I don't even know how I can be there for myself. And I know that sounds selfish. This is the first time I have had a family member go through something like this. So all these emotions, and everying, are new and I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to expect, right now I am just hoping for the best! Please if you have any input , feel free to share. And if you can say a prayer, that is even better. Thanks

sandra4611's picture
Posts: 121
Joined: Sep 2013

I'm surprised the surgeons have agreed to operate on an 82 year old with stage 4 breast cancer and COPD. It seems cruel to put her through it. There are plenty of stage 4 people who have survived for several years so your grandmother could be one of those.

Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2013

I hope you are right! She has issues with her COPD. As this is my in-law I don't really have a sayso on what happens. But they do understand how I feel, and most of my family feels the same way. However, she goes in for surgery in just a few minutes. The anasteciologist ( I am so sorry for bad spelling) refused to put her under. So the hospital decided the best thing for her, is to put her on lifesupport and do the sugery and then go from there after she goes into recovery. I don't understand why they  just don't leave it alone. But I have to be there for my family, no matter her decision.

New Flower
Posts: 4299
Joined: Aug 2009

Wishing her luck with this surgery. Positive thoughts and prayers to her , you and the family

Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2791
Joined: Jun 2010

that your grandmother in law pulls through the surgery and that it is successful.  I don't know what I would do if I were in her place, but I hope the decision for the surgery was hers and she understood all of the risks and benefits.  Plese let us know how everything goes. 


Posts: 6564
Joined: Oct 2010

thinking of you and  your family..


VickiSam's picture
Posts: 9080
Joined: Aug 2009

Mother in Law?  How did surgery go?  Any update on your mother in laws breast cancer?

Please post an update when possible.


Vicki Sam




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