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a little down today

Cindy Bear
Posts: 570
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi everybody.  Happy holidays.. Hoping the New year brings good luck, good health, good news to all of us. Feeling a little down this xmas.. I lost my mom in 2009 to uterine cancer.. after 4 mos.. that's all.. 4 mos from the time we got the official diagnosis till she was gone. It's been rough but I thought I was doing pretty well.... but I've been in a funk the last week or so .. I just miss my parents both so much. I went to the grocery store today.. what a madhouse.. and not the store I normally go to.. it's an old store, the aisles are too narrow, there were people milling about everywhere, people trying to stock shelves.. and since I'm not used to that store.. It took me forever to find everything I needed.. at one point I felt like just abandoning my cart and fleeing.. and everywhere I turned.. a reminder of my mom and Dad.. the choc. covered cherries and ribbon candy my Dad used to buy every year.... the pie crust mix my mom always used... it just hurts.. fewer xmas cards every year, not able to get together with good friends this year..my neighbor (whom I really do belive is bi-polar) ignoring us.. sometimes she's all friendly , other times barely ack. our existence.. sent her a xmas card.. no word, no thank you.. no go to h*ll.. nothing.. It's just getting to me this year.. so I needed to vent and this is the place for that..

Big hugs to all..

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

You came to the right place. The holidays do bring back memories. Even good memories are sometimes hard. Take care of yourself. Don't worry about the neighbor. Just let it go. Maybe she is feeling the stress of the season. Fay

Cindy Bear
Posts: 570
Joined: Jul 2009

for the kind words.. you always have something wise to say. I am feeling much better.. had a nice holiday, got to spend time with family and friends and don't have to go back to work until Jan 2nd.. yippee.. Still no word from the neighbor.. but as you say, I need to let it go. My favorite saying, which I know some find annoying, but has become a sort of mantra to me.. "It is what it is, and what happens, happens" For some odd reason, I find comfort in that.

Take care!

NoTimeForCancer's picture
Posts: 1867
Joined: Mar 2013

Cindy Bear, we buried my dad 10 days before I found out I had cancer.  It would have killed him to see me go through the treatment.  One year out NED and my mom still sees me as "sick".  I miss my father everyday.  Me and my sisters were so lucky to have him for a dad.  Listening to my friends I realize not everyone was as fortunate.

Because holidays are such an event, not just the every day run-of-the-mill days, they do bring back thoughts of happy times.  Hold them dear because you will always have them in your heart.

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