Need some advice

Two things,

Cancer taught us. One, get all the information and try not to worry until you know all the facts. Second, people in hard times want to talk and express their feelings, rather than given advise. It's better to ask these people how they are doing, what they are goiing through. They are really gonna appreciate that someone cares and listens. This opens up the connection and later when they really need some practical advice, they are gonna hear you better. 

You are obviously a caring person, they are lucky to have you.

Laz

What to say?

While you don't want to scare them you need to let them know that if it is cancer you will be there to help them navigate thru it.

Perhaps with what you know you can help them develop a list of questions for the doctor should it turn out to be cancer.

Another thing is to let them know that there is also nothing wrong with seeking other opinions if what this doctor has to say does not meet their need or expectations.  That other opinion might be at a National Cancer Center if there is one reasonably close by.

Even if the cancer is not colorectal, they can certainly come here for support and non-treatment related issues.  While the treatment varies, the emotional, financial and day to day living issues remain the same.  If they don't want to join, then offer to be their communication to us.

Let them know that they must be their own advocate and that a family member along the journey of docs and treatments is definately needed, if there is someone strong enough to do it.

The most improtant thing is to let them know they do not have to walk this alone.

Marie who loves kitties

neons356 said:

what to say

I would just tell someone that until the doctor gives them a diagnosis, that this just isn't the time to talk about "what ifs". It may or may not be cancer, so there's no point in getting any help or advice yet. I know it's agonizing to wait, and hopefully the Doctor will understand that and get back to them as soon as possible, and if it seems to be taking too long to get an answer, don't be afraid to call and let them know their concern.

                                            Carl

please help

Hi everybody.... I am new to this but i feel really uplifted everytime I read the stories on this forum. My brother is 42 years old and has been diagnosed with colorectal cancer with liver mets in both lobes. He also has gross ascites. At a provincialhospital u have to wait until the guinea-pig trial is over then the doctor will decide if you need treatment (if you have any life left in you). So...the doctor asked for the routine to be done and that was endoscope ( clear), barium swallow( showed obstruction), CT showed liver lesion, bloods showed CEA level of 68.4% with +3 lymphocytes and then lastly the colonoscopy that revealed a 40cm tumor in the colon, peritoneal seeding and liver mets in both lobes. My concern is that all shows that he has stage4 cancer but they have not given him pain meds or even seem to be in a hurry to do chemo.

I guess I have been in a state of denial and didnt want to believe all the medical mumbo-jumbo so we had taken him to an oncologist who confirmed that he has all of the above and at the same time did a TAP and I was scared to even look at the drain. The fluid was not clear or orange rather it was dark bloody. He stomache is badly distended again and the pain is worsening. can somebody please tell me what is happening in my brothers body as the doctors dont seem to want to be vocal with us. its as if they know something and they are not telling him nor me. can someone please enlighten me or tell me what to expect as I also have old parents who are sickly and they need my attention also. I dont like not being prepared and right now I dont know how to help my brother and I feel helpless. Please help me somebody