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New Here :(

Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2013

I received my diagnosis yesterday - two malignancies in my right breast (one a solid nodule, the other a calcification - 3cm apart) with a potential third too far back in the perinatal cavity to reach with a needle.  I'm thankful for the weekend to regroup before I begin the battery of calls, appointments and decisions.

The diagnosis is difficult of its own accord, but it is near impossible to take as I buried my 14 month, 3.5 week old daughter on August 13th - just three days before the mammography that found the lumps / spots.  I also have a 5.5 and 4 year old... pretty close to the breaking point, and I haven't even really started this journey.

Not sure what I'm looking for - I'm pretty sure even here this is a fairly unique situation.  Just wanted to introduce myself as I may (will) have more questions to come.

Best wishes to all!!

sea60's picture
Posts: 2616
Joined: May 2010

I'm so sorry about your diagnosis and the passing of your sweet daughter. I can only assure you that you will be surrounded by many kindred spirits here lifting you up, praying for you and just "being there" in support. Sending my prayers of strength for you and your family.



New Flower
Posts: 4299
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi Eileen,

 I am very sorry for your loss. Well cancer diagnosis is very hard too.Your doctors probably will recommend you a very agressive approach in your treatment, so please belive in yourself. We will support and help you to go through.


Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2013

Thank you New Flower.  That was my suspicion too, which at this point is the hardest to accept (I'm not a sit down kind of person).  I appreciate the kind words :)

Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2013

thank you Sylvia

Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2013

ust wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted to let us know how u r doing. This is a great place to vent and get real answers of what to expect during treatment. Although everybodies experience is different.

jcarol's picture
Posts: 30
Joined: Jun 2013

Hello Eileen,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby and now this.  I have just a couple of pieces of advice that are helping me get through a complicated situation.

1)  Make sure you are treated at a comprehensive cancer treatment center.

2)  Given the reality of the depression and anxiety you face,  don't be afraid to ask for some medication to deal with this.  I am taking Lexapro (10 mg) and I feel  it has allowed me to cope and enjoy much in my daily life again.  (In the beginning, I took a bit of xanax until the Lexapro kicked in). I expect to continue taking it until my husband recovers from surgery scheduled in October.

Before this, I found myself crying and upset every day.  In May my husband was diagnosed with esophageal cancer stage 3.  This is a devastating disease with generally poor prognosis.  At the same time my mammogram report came back saying they found small calcifications which they believed benign but to "come back in six months."  Like you I am proactive and since my mother had cancer, I decided to go to a breast surgeon at a major treatment center as soon as my husband began treatment.  They found in situ and invasive cancer.  They also completed an MRI which showed two other suspicious areas in the right breast, one nearby and one in a different quadrant.  I had surgery 5 weeks ago (they were able to get all 3 areas with a very large lumpectomy) and there were small cancers (3 mm or less) in each.  

My husband completed his chemo/radiation two weeks ago and I had surgery 5 weeks ago.  I just completed my first week of radiation and will be done two weeks before my husband has the (dreaded) esophagetomy.  I'm telling you all of this because despite all the sadness and anxiety innate this situation, we have been able to remain active and positive in our outlook.  Although I know I'm a resilient person I would not have been able to remain as stable as I feel now without the temporary help of medication.  Please let me know if I can answer any questions.   








VickiSam's picture
Posts: 9080
Joined: Aug 2009

I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter, your breast cancer. 

You become a CANCER survivor the day your cancer is dignosed. That's when the fight begins.  Althought the most obvious fight is physical, the mental fight is one that can wear people down.  Having the right attitude, and knowledge helps with the journey.

Cancer is a wake-up call for many of us (myself, included), to slow down, reach out , and ask for support.

Please remember that we are here for YOU, 24 hours a days,  7 days a week.  This is a Sisterhood like no other - we are strong in members, and fiece in support, love and prayers.

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

Vicki Sam







lintx's picture
Posts: 689
Joined: Sep 2012


I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your child.  Now b/c is on your agenda!  Wow!   I know the diagnosis is frightening, but everything will fall into place.  One step at a time for now.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  Hugs. Linda

andi44's picture
Posts: 196
Joined: Jun 2013

So very sorry that you have gone thru what you've gone thru...and, sorry that you're joining this pink sister family...you will have a good support system here...keep us updated with your decisions-as we'll be keeping of you in our thoughts...Andi

coco2008's picture
Posts: 420
Joined: May 2013

I'm sorry for your loss and your diagnosis.  My heart and prayers are with you.


Posts: 579
Joined: Dec 2010

I would say whatever treatment comes along to deal with that and a young family will be hard.  With the additional loss recently of another child on top of everything, you will need a lot of help and support and there is no point beating around the bush.  The mere fact that you are already sharing with us is a sign of reaching out, and being honest with yourself, good for you.  If a mastectomy is suggested and you decide to go that route you will need help with the children for a while, cooking, laundry, cleaning, school or pre school activities and beyond if chemo taken.  Take all help you can receive by partner, friends and family.  Rest every minute you can.  Won't be as traumatic if lumpectomy, but after treatment still grueling.  You are younger than most of us and will be stronger but still having those little ones to care for makes it more difficult a problem we dont tend to have in our 50s.  


Tell us what happens with your results and what is suggested.  Lots of great tips to help you here.  Some need anti depressants for a while, there is no shame in this or just a professional to unload to, someone who has been through similar life experiences, your church if you have one, do you have appropriate insurance?  


Keep posting.

Posts: 6561
Joined: Oct 2010

Wecome! So sorry to hear of your situation-you've come to the right place to vent or get suggestions



Jobi's picture
Posts: 211
Joined: Jan 2012

I am so sorry to hear about your news.  Please come to this site anytime you have questions, want to vent, or find comfort.  We are here for you!


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