~~ Read The Label First HA HA'S & A Good Ole HA HA Joke ~~

susie09
susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
edited May 2013 in Breast Cancer #1

On the bottle top of a ( U.K. ) flavored milk drink:  AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a New Zealand insect spray:  THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

On a Sears hairdryer:  DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On a child's Superman costume:  WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.  ( that's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy.

On an American Airlines pack of nuts:  INSTRUCTIONS --OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.  ( i'm sure glad they cleared that up )

On a bar of Dial soap:  DIRECTIONS -- USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:  FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.  ( as opposed to what -- use in outer space? )

 

 An Amost Perfect Life

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out.  A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. 

The old man says, " I'm a multimillionaire.  I have a great big house and the fastest car in the world, and, I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell."

The jogger says, " Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life.  What could be so wrong in your life that you're sitting here in the park crying? "

The old man says, " I can't remember where I live. "

 Love, Susie

Comments

  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    Those are funny!

    Those are funny!  Thanks Susie!

     

    Hugs, Debby

  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    DebbyM said:

    Those are funny!

    Those are funny!  Thanks Susie!

     

    Hugs, Debby

    You're welcome! 

    You're welcome!  Have a favorite Debby?

  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    susie09 said:

    You're welcome! 

    You're welcome!  Have a favorite Debby?

    The superman and the nuts

    The superman and the nuts were hilarious!  And, I hope that old man in your joke finds his home.  He is missing out on a LOT!  lol

  • JJDS
    JJDS Member Posts: 258
    DianeBC said:

    The superman and the nuts

    The superman and the nuts were hilarious!  And, I hope that old man in your joke finds his home.  He is missing out on a LOT!  lol

    Ha Ha

    Ha Ha

  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    Love these!  Thanks for a

    Love these!  Thanks for a good laugh!

  • kmenurse
    kmenurse Member Posts: 217

    Love these!  Thanks for a

    Love these!  Thanks for a good laugh!

    Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee!!

    Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee!!

  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    kmenurse said:

    Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee!!

    Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee!!

    Love these

    LOL