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the waiting game

lilith light's picture
lilith light
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2013

It hit me hard with constant changing symptoms, that have now calmed down. The doctor is sending me for a ebus' after a ct scan showed exstensive mediasternal lymph node reaching into the upper right lung. She suspects lymphoma but says it could also be a malignancy. She has not offered any hope of anything else and says it looks too messed up to be infection. I have now found a new lymph node under armpit on side of breast.

What can they see on a ct scan? Why have i been given such limited options. I am now left hoping its lymphoma rather than some other cancer like lung cancer. Everything seems to be taking so long. My life has gone from living, to feeling like a death sentence looming from some jumped up specialist with a god complex.

I said to the doctor, dont give me a death sentence, and she replied, i cant promise you that. But how dare anyone do that? I dont give a flying fig how qualified they are. There is alot to be said for mind over matter. For hope.


Can symptoms be intermittant and why do i feel so hungry?

Bless you all. 

illead's picture
Posts: 875
Joined: Aug 2012


     We  are so sorry for what you are going through.  You will soon hear from many more on this forum.  We are all caring and supportive of each other.  All lymphomas are different but I think some common symptoms are night sweats and fatigue.  Lack of appetite is also one so I don't know about your increase in appetite.  As far as a ct-scan, it usually does show lymphoma just not the type or stage.  I know this is very scary, but try if possible to not worry too much.  If it is lymphoma, most types are very treatable and curable and they are learning more and more all the time.  Our thoughts are with you and please feel free to ask all of us any questions and share your feelings.  There is always someone here and we do care.  Please let us know how you are doing. Bill and Becky

allmost60's picture
Posts: 3184
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Lilith,

 Ohhhh the waiting game is the hardest! Maybe your increased appetite is caused from nerves. I tend to eat when I get nervous or stressed out...kind of a way to comfort myself. My CT scan showed where my tumors were located...groin, stomach and neck. The biopsy of my largest groin node showed grade and type of cancer, and then my BMB(bone marrow biopsy) showed if it was in my marrow....which it wasn't and then could say what stage. Being in 3 locations of my body..(1 upper and 2 lower) and not in my marrow, put me at stage 3. If it had been in the marrow I would have been stage 4. I also had a heart test before starting chemo. If memory serves me right, it took May, June and July to get set up for chemo and finally had my first round the end of August in 2010. I have Folicular NHL. Hang in there, once testing is done everything moves much faster. Let us know how you are doing. Best wishes...Sue

(Follicular NHL-stg3-grd2-typeA-Dx June 2010-age 62) In Remission as of April 2013.

jimwins's picture
Posts: 2111
Joined: Aug 2011

Sorry you have to be here but you will find very supportive and caring folks here.  Lymphoma is in general very treatable and even curable.  As others have said, there's lots of great research going on today and new treatments coming out all the time as well.

If your are not happy with your doctor, find a better one or at least get second opinions.  It is so important to have a good oncologist and one you can be comfortable with and relate to.  

Attitude and a good sense of humor will help you through this, Lilith so use them when you can.  We have a lot of experienced and caring folks here so know you are not alone.  Come here and rave, rant, ask questions and offer your own support when you are ready. 

If you can catch one of those "flying figs", I'd love to have one.  I think I have an old bird cage around here somewhere.  What would you feed them ? Wink

Big hugs,


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