Humbling/This is not the place for bullying, either outright or indirectly...

wawaju04976
wawaju04976 Member Posts: 316
edited March 2013 in Colorectal Cancer #1

I have read comments on here regarding treatments, both alternative and conventional. I have mentioned my alternative treatment I use along with my chemotherapy. My fiance and I both use it. I have not told anyone to use the alternative. I have also not told anyone that what they are doing, conventional or alternative, is absurd, not good, foolish, etc. I have watched a couple of people on here make comments about treatments, including my alternative. There is one person I feel is to the point of bullying people. By bullying I mean comments by this person are making people not want to share, myself included. I am reading about people wanting to leave this forum.

You know, after reading the bickerings, I read the post from Justin, who has not posted for a while. He is newer here than I am. After reading what he has been going thru, I look at the comments made by people who want to "one-up" this person or that person with his comments as wasteful. I don't mean the information these people are providing is not valuable, but the way they are conveying it makes it sound like their way is the only way. Weren't people upset with Pete about this? I didn't even read what Pete wrote; if it's long I usually scan and that's about it. I do know Pete told someone to get off the forum. He said it outright (no I do not agree with that). But I also don't agree with someone bullying people to the point they want to leave the forum. Sometimes you don't have to come right out and say, "Leave...u don't agree with me." You can say it by just the tone of what you are saying, the arguing with someone about the treatment they choose, and such.

Back to Justin, my reason for writing this. He's been thru quite a bit for someone in his 20s. He's sitting outside in the cold using his neighbor's internet so he can let us know how he has been doing. For whatever reason, I felt humbled and compelled to write about what has been going on after reading his update...

Judy

Comments

  • mags uk
    mags uk Member Posts: 8
    Agree

    I am just a quite reader for the last few years but I agree the contrast was humbling. With no axe to grind I felt more than one member crossed a line and I did feel sad by the approach taken by people I held in higher regard. It is easy to single out one persons behaviour harder to see our own contributions. When someone has been so publicly discussed I become very uncomfortable with the value judgements and personality analysis on people who at the end of the day are just trying to make the best of a difficult illness. I am willing to cut lots of slack. I do hope they are strong enough to cope with some of this.

    I wish you and your partner all the very best with your treatment. 

    Regards 

    Mags

  • abackhou
    abackhou Member Posts: 77
    Be Happy

    I read most posts sometimes I wonder what are they talking about. I only take on board those comments that  I can understand.  I take on board the good advice and the good or bad news of all individuals.  What treatment they use is up to them and I wish EVERYBODY a bueatiful today and tomorrow.  We are all here for the same thing.  

    Update:  I am going ok these days apart from pain under the RHS of my rib cage, I have a swolllen area there aswell from the liver tumour.  I have no appetite and tend to need lots of rests during the day.  I do not take any more chemo or supplements, have enough med tablets to take each day as it is.  Taking each day nicely.

    Andrew

  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571
    abackhou said:

    Be Happy

    I read most posts sometimes I wonder what are they talking about. I only take on board those comments that  I can understand.  I take on board the good advice and the good or bad news of all individuals.  What treatment they use is up to them and I wish EVERYBODY a bueatiful today and tomorrow.  We are all here for the same thing.  

    Update:  I am going ok these days apart from pain under the RHS of my rib cage, I have a swolllen area there aswell from the liver tumour.  I have no appetite and tend to need lots of rests during the day.  I do not take any more chemo or supplements, have enough med tablets to take each day as it is.  Taking each day nicely.

    Andrew

    Thinking of you, Andrew....

    saw your FB update.  Hoping you have a wonderful Easter with your family.  Hugs from the States~Ann Alexandria

  • Dyanclark
    Dyanclark Member Posts: 296
    Well Said Judy

    I do not feel I have the right to even tell my husband what treatment he should do.   I go on all Doctor appointments with him and I ask the Dr. more questions then he does then he has to decide.  I look everything up for him so he knows what he is getting into.    When a person starts ranting about remedies that are to complicated and not proven I just dont read the post.   Kindness is all that we owe each other on this site.  I am hoping no one leaves I need this board for information and to cope.

    Hugs  George & DianeSurprisedKiss

  • Dyanclark
    Dyanclark Member Posts: 296
    Well Said Judy

     

    Hugs  George & DianeSurprisedKiss

  • wawaju04976
    wawaju04976 Member Posts: 316
    Dyanclark said:

    Well Said Judy

    I do not feel I have the right to even tell my husband what treatment he should do.   I go on all Doctor appointments with him and I ask the Dr. more questions then he does then he has to decide.  I look everything up for him so he knows what he is getting into.    When a person starts ranting about remedies that are to complicated and not proven I just dont read the post.   Kindness is all that we owe each other on this site.  I am hoping no one leaves I need this board for information and to cope.

    Hugs  George & DianeSurprisedKiss

    I totally agree. Be nice,

    I totally agree. Be nice, take what you need and leave the rest.

    <3

     

  • dixonduke
    dixonduke Member Posts: 7
    Dyanclark said:

    Well Said Judy

    I do not feel I have the right to even tell my husband what treatment he should do.   I go on all Doctor appointments with him and I ask the Dr. more questions then he does then he has to decide.  I look everything up for him so he knows what he is getting into.    When a person starts ranting about remedies that are to complicated and not proven I just dont read the post.   Kindness is all that we owe each other on this site.  I am hoping no one leaves I need this board for information and to cope.

    Hugs  George & DianeSurprisedKiss

    I am pretty new here....but
    I am pretty new here....but the more I read the more I figure there are some pretty smart people here.

    Peace.
  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,434 Member
    I left the site for that

    I left the site for that reason.  I do find the help comforting and I like to keep up with everyone but I only pop on for a few minutes every few weeks and I'm very careful what I say.  Also I find the tone depressing.  It's very matter of fact with no laughter or smiling allowed.  Sorry, I'm a smiley person and I try to show it even in my writing=)  I love the new posts with pictures of people and pets.  That's a great part of saying, I'm living, go to hell cancer and I like that.  I also welcome medical and alternative medicine.  No reason they can't compliment each other.  And if anyone in any country finds a way to transplant a rectum or anus, please let me know, I'm in!  This permanent ostomy is for the birds.

  • luvinlife2
    luvinlife2 Member Posts: 172
    Helen321 said:

    I left the site for that

    I left the site for that reason.  I do find the help comforting and I like to keep up with everyone but I only pop on for a few minutes every few weeks and I'm very careful what I say.  Also I find the tone depressing.  It's very matter of fact with no laughter or smiling allowed.  Sorry, I'm a smiley person and I try to show it even in my writing=)  I love the new posts with pictures of people and pets.  That's a great part of saying, I'm living, go to hell cancer and I like that.  I also welcome medical and alternative medicine.  No reason they can't compliment each other.  And if anyone in any country finds a way to transplant a rectum or anus, please let me know, I'm in!  This permanent ostomy is for the birds.

    Helen you made me smile :)

    If I'm not mistaken, I believe there is a surgeon at Sloan Kettering who devised a way to make a rectum and anus that work.  Did anyone else watch this on TV?  I think it was a 20/20 program or something of that nature.  Smile

  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900
    great post

    I asked john to get off the thread, not the forum.

    I just wanted to discuss the diet I am doing and get some support for my treatment and share why I was optimistic about it.

    I do appear to have ruffled a few feathers.

    hugs,

    Pete

  • devotion10
    devotion10 Member Posts: 623
    Helen321 said:

    I left the site for that

    I left the site for that reason.  I do find the help comforting and I like to keep up with everyone but I only pop on for a few minutes every few weeks and I'm very careful what I say.  Also I find the tone depressing.  It's very matter of fact with no laughter or smiling allowed.  Sorry, I'm a smiley person and I try to show it even in my writing=)  I love the new posts with pictures of people and pets.  That's a great part of saying, I'm living, go to hell cancer and I like that.  I also welcome medical and alternative medicine.  No reason they can't compliment each other.  And if anyone in any country finds a way to transplant a rectum or anus, please let me know, I'm in!  This permanent ostomy is for the birds.

    Helen I too find comfort in humor and sometimes distractions

    from cancer are such a welcome relief.  

    We have a had a good discussion on the board of late and it seems  folks really do appreciate and strive to be open, kind, and respectful. Come more often and bring us some good humor.

    Best,

    Cynthia