Nov 24, 2012 - 8:42 am
I am in just total despair and disbelief. I found a lump in my left breast, had it checked out, and found out its Ductal Cancer, HER2+ as well as ES+ and PR+. The treatment plan is sentinel node dye injection, next Sunday, then 12/3 lumpectomy, followed by chemo, radiation , and a year of herceptin and five years of some hormone receptor drug.
I am just terrified of it all, but specifically, at this moment, about the dye injection. I have seen various comments on how painful it is, and varying degrees of if it can or cannot be numbed first.
Then Im terrified of surgery, and anesthesia. I had a very bad wake up experience 30 years ago, and ever since have been paralyzed with fear about any surgery. To add to my fears , I am also overweight, and worried how that will play into all of this.
Then of course the fact that I was not lucky enough to escape chemo has me just freaked out.
I have not stopped crying for about a week and have no idea how Im going to get thru this next crap hole of a year.
Any input or help or encouragement, or info anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Im just so sad, and scared and worried... and those feelings are so not like me, but I feel my life as I knew it is over, and a whole new sad scary life has begun.
Thanks for listening