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Help me.. Am I going crazy????

arndog64's picture
Posts: 537
Joined: Mar 2011

I am a caregiver for my husband and he is a little over a year out. He still has a horrible sore throat, I was concerned and pushed up his appointment. Scope all clear.
The other day he had severe leg pain, and he makes an appointment with his Rheumatologist, she thinks it's a blood clot and send him for an ultrasound. Came back all clear. Still in alot of pain sent him to his GP, I wanted an exray. Comes back all clear. The doc thinks it's the nearopathy and said to double up on meds and follow in 2-3 weeks with neurologist.
Now, Saturday we are out to breakfast and I look at his arm and I notice brown splotches all over his forearms. I asked him when did this happen. He said about 3 weeks ago. It has bothered me since that day. He has, like 15-20 splotches on each arm. I think to myself that is not normal.. What I am getting at, I am stressing over every little thing and in the back of my mind I always think this could be cancer coming back. I need to stop this madness...Does anyone else do this????

The Crazy Lady

fisrpotpe's picture
Posts: 1349
Joined: Aug 2010

amazingly you have checked all concerns with medical people and all is clean, that is wonderful news.

i would ask, will you keep looking, worrying, dwelling on everything until you find what you think it should be going on. if you do it may be a long time. as for me it has been 14,856 days or 891,360 min. or 53,481,600 sec. since i was told.

point being do you really want to spend the above mentioned time looking, worrying, dwelling and maybe it only shows it ugly head one minor time in that time table and it was 13 years post treatment.

i know i didn't and hope at some point you can stop and move on


and oh ya, i hope to double and triple the duration mentioned above

ptl my new normal time with some pains all the time post treatment is so very special, every day is wonderful with every day a different degree of wonderful

arndog64's picture
Posts: 537
Joined: Mar 2011

With my post, I have completed step one. I have a problem, that was easy. Time for step 2 what am I going to do about it. For starters. I am going to back off, my husband know his body better than anybody and if he feels the need to see a doc, he will make the appointment or ask me to make it. Then I will worry... LMAO!!!!

Greend's picture
Posts: 678
Joined: Feb 2010

I thhink my wife is a bigamist because this sounds just like her... and I love her for it however I agree tat he knows his body best and if/when he asks for help then that is the time to worry.

Thanks for being such a great care giver.


Posts: 1914
Joined: May 2012

Hey there !
It sounds as if you are on top of being an excellant caregiver. But...saying this, try to look at the positives. Neuropathy can be caused by an awful lot of things...and is very treatable. It sounds like you're hooked up with a great team of doctors. Nerve pain stinks plain and simple...I live with it daily in my jaw and neck. Some days are better than others and like John I rejoice in this. Pain means things are trying to work again...my nerve paths were damaged during surgery. Never ever think the worst case scenerio, and enjoy life. I am learning that the new me is different but wonderful also ! Katie

blackswampboy's picture
Posts: 341
Joined: Jul 2012

Hi CL,

Since november is NFC month, it's a good time to do something for yourself! my cancer center offers free support services for caregivers...you might check with yours, see if they're giving out massages to stressed caregivers.


National Family Caregiver Month

National Family Caregivers Month (NFC Month) - observed every November - is a nationally recognized month seeking to draw attention to the many challenges facing family caregivers, advocate for stronger public policy to address family caregiving issues, and raise awareness about community programs that support family caregivers.

NFC Month is a time to thank, support, educate, and celebrate more than 50 million family caregivers across the country.

The theme for NFC Month is for family caregivers to...

BELIEVE in yourself... PROTECT your health... REACH OUT for help

This November there is a special emphasis on the need for all of us to help family caregivers protect their health in order to have a more satisfying life and be better able to provide their loved one with the best care possible.

To learn more about NFC Month visit the National Family Caregivers Association Web site (www.thefamilycaregiver.org).

denistd's picture
Posts: 580
Joined: Apr 2009

As we age some of us become very prone to bruising on our forearms, I get it all of the time, don't even know that it happened, sometimes i get them just rubbing the soap on my arms in the shower. Do the marks gradually go, the small veins in the skin simply break and blood diffuses out under the layer of skin.

Posts: 1846
Joined: Aug 2010

Jim was treated with Cisplatin and is also on an aspirin regimine: he consistently has splotchy brownish red areas which bleed very easily.

I don't think it is wrong to check out every little thing that is going on - who wants to miss something important?

However: Greg needs to be checking on this himself. He will feel more in control if he makes the calls and gets the answers.

fisrpotpe's picture
Posts: 1349
Joined: Aug 2010

i too had bruises for 5-6 years until 18 months ago when the doc put me on Vit. D3, because i was forcing myself to stay out of the sun. 6 months later the bruising stopped.


Tim6003's picture
Posts: 1511
Joined: Nov 2011

I will just say this .....with what we put you caregivers thru...don't dare ever feel like you are "crazy" ... :) My poor wife has been through the ringer starting with my dx back in Ocotber 2011 ....and if I have read your posts correctly over the months it sounds like your husband has had a few issues more than the average....so don't be so hard on yourself. You sound like an excellent caregiver and you stand ready to make sure your husband gets the best treatment ....there is no better love than what you are shwoing...with that said, being a year out and getting the all clears you have gotten...just seek some support group that can help you relax a bit better .....

I was having a tough time after treatments and I felt like I had a good faith foundation!!!...so I was surprised to see myself having a hard time like that ....but it's as if over the months that went by the good Lord was telling me "you have to dig even deeper now" ....I truly appreciated and still do the longterm survivors on this board...they were a HUGE help to me in those months ...I think I am doing so much better now...I've dug deeper...but I am still vigilant .....I guess I am like any father / husband ...I feel I owe it to my wife and very young children to be vigilant ..

I think you are a wonderful caregiver and your husband is very blessed to have you on his team! :)



arndog64's picture
Posts: 537
Joined: Mar 2011

Thanks everyome for the feedback.. My husband has been through so much and is still suffering from side effects.. Like nausea, throat pain, fatigue, weak muscles, neuropathy, memory.. He is one strong man and he has got this.. I am just a worry wart...

Posts: 344
Joined: Sep 2012

You are fine...I do the same thing. I want to protect and care for my husband to the best of my ability. It's normal. We just have to find the right balance. I hate watching my husband suffer

Posts: 298
Joined: Apr 2011

because we do watch for every little thing. I certainly understand how you feel!

Pam M's picture
Pam M
Posts: 2196
Joined: Nov 2009

I'd worry, too - even if I knew I shouldn't. Here's hoping for less and less to worry about as the days go by.

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