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If I wake up with this urostomy bag I am going to go nuts.

lepperl's picture
Posts: 39
Joined: Jul 2012

So monday morning I will be getting my stent placed for whatever blocked my right Kidney. I have a bad feeling since they did not find a stone on CT. The CT was done quickly in ED so no contrast was used. Therefore, they did not see the cancer either but I was told it was "suspect". They put in a temporary urostomy tube. I am totally disscuted by it. I am now also wearing this 5FU pump. So I can't shower with the pump and can't bath with the urostomy. I am going crazy with only a wash cloth and the sink. It should be removed monday when they put the stent in. If they can get the stent in that is. What if my whole ureter is blocked by cancer? I know . I don't know yet but of course I have trouble putting the thought out of my mind. If I wake up monday and this tube is still in place I think I am going to go over the deep end. I have been carrying on hapily for about 6 months now so I am long over due to lose it.

Posts: 753
Joined: Apr 2011

Oh Lori, I wish I knew what to say. Everything I would try to tell you is easier said than done.....i know.
Do the docs think that the chemo may not be working? Anyway, I hope Monday returns good results with whatever has to be done.
We always think the worse. I do too. I have a scan Monday and I am dreading it. But, tonight I'm going to really try to just enjoy tonight.
I watch way too much TV, but I enjoy it. I'll probably set an alarm so I can watch SNL.
Cancer has robbed so much, but there's still things that can keep my mind off it temporarily.
There's highs and lows, and hopefully you can get over this hump SOON.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

i lost it also, have along long time ago.
being crazy with crc and what it does to our life is normal.

even all my lovelly friends without cancer, i think they are crazy chasing new cars and stuff without taking time to listen to the birds or feel the sun.

that said most of those same friends think i too am crazy for all the things i am doing.

but they respect my craziness i think.

it is what it is, my only suggestion is that you are alive and its a beautiful day here!

hopefully wherever you are when you read this as well.

when i am fully of bags, drains and drips, if god allows me to wake from my hipec, i will remember what i said to you.

what each of does to survive in our way is amazing.
godbless you.


k44454445's picture
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

it is ok to sometimes go crazy! it is a very natural coping skill. i would be upset too if i were to wake up & the tube was still in place. i find i go crazy sometimes just because of all the frustrations that comes with dealing with cancer. good luck & i will be praying for a good result!

LivinginNH's picture
Posts: 1456
Joined: Apr 2010

What a beautiful baby!! :-)

k44454445's picture
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

thank you!

Annabelle41415's picture
Posts: 4849
Joined: Feb 2009

After having my resection and waking up was my surgery leaving me with a colostomy (meaning permanent) or ileostomy (meaning reversal) but still woke up to one. It's a very scary place to be and one that no one ever thinks that they would be. You have every right to be afraid and worried. I'm hoping that all goes well for you on Monday and that whatever it is, you will be able to know that you are being thought of during your surgery.


thingy45's picture
Posts: 632
Joined: Apr 2011

Hello Lori,
Crazy is good for a few minutes, it takes the edge of. After that it is back to work
Yes, having cancer I see as work, just like giving birth the "labour" (work) pains.
I keep repeating myself, one day at a time. enjoy each and every day, some are good and some are less good but mostly things will look after themselves. sometimes it is not easy to see that. But waking up by itself is allready good, it means you are still here. You will be amazed how strong you really are. And we are all here to cheer you on.
Hugs Marjan

lepperl's picture
Posts: 39
Joined: Jul 2012

Thank you all so much for your replies. I can't explain how greatful I am to be able to come to a place where everyone understands. Monday is almost here. I want to know and I don't want to know. I have done everything conventional and complimentary. I just don't know how to stop this train. But I am not going to give up no matter what I find out Monday. I am going to figure it out. I just know it.

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