custody

bspangler47
bspangler47 Member Posts: 145
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Well I am a single Mom of 2 children still at home ages 12 (daughter) and 10 (son). Still having a rough time of things with my bowel movements and urterer(sp) probelms. Going to see an attorney tomorrow to change/update my will. I have a daugther who is 26 and marrired and they have 2 boys 3 and almost 2. Also have a son that is 23, another daughter 18.

In the beginning when I was sick in 2009, I had did a will for my oldest daughter to take custody of my younger children if something that would happen before they both turned 18. with my other son alt. person they would go to. With somethings that she is handling and going thru makes me wonder what to do with them. Thought about an close friend in another state, I know she would be good with them. any advice would be appreciated.

thank you

barbara

Comments

  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    #2
    my heart breaks for you
    barbara,

    this little mortality thing is never out of my mind, i am always teaching my kids something.
    noone can love them the way way you can. put down a list of pros and cons. i have had this discussion with my wife in case we were both killed. no good answers here. i pray an answer becomes obvious. given how dynmic modern life is, i think having a few friends or family on the list. in many ways its that greatest tribute i could pay to anyone, to say i believe you are the one to care for my kids. mine are 6 and 10. not that different to yours. i hope you get a good solution that gives you some measure of peace.

    hugs,
    pete
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    #3
    Dear Barbara
    Arranging the future of your minor children is a responsibility everyone has in case the parent(s) are not here to do it. It is good that you have done it in the past and are now reviewing based on current situations.

    The best advice I can give is to consider the emotional, physical and financial needs your children will probably have until they are 18. While we like to think keeping them with the closest family member is best, it may not be given their circumstances.

    I suggest you discuss this with not only the friend you are considering but also with your adult children. It is vital that the designated person is agreebale and prepared to handle the challenge. It is also vital that those not chosen understand and agree with your decision. It will help prevent disputes in the event that your wishes must be executed.

    Knowing that their future is secure will relieve one burden from your shoulders.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • bspangler47
    bspangler47 Member Posts: 145
    #4
    Lovekitties said:

    Dear Barbara
    Arranging the future of your minor children is a responsibility everyone has in case the parent(s) are not here to do it. It is good that you have done it in the past and are now reviewing based on current situations.

    The best advice I can give is to consider the emotional, physical and financial needs your children will probably have until they are 18. While we like to think keeping them with the closest family member is best, it may not be given their circumstances.

    I suggest you discuss this with not only the friend you are considering but also with your adult children. It is vital that the designated person is agreebale and prepared to handle the challenge. It is also vital that those not chosen understand and agree with your decision. It will help prevent disputes in the event that your wishes must be executed.

    Knowing that their future is secure will relieve one burden from your shoulders.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties

    custody
    thank you guys for your support. I went last week and updated my will, medical power of attorney etc. My oldest daugther and her husband will be getting custoday of them. If they cant handle them or the situation, then my dear friend will step in. So hopefully I will make copies of my will and send to her. I do feel better. I guess I am going thru all this because of fighting with cancer. And the upcoming surgery in Aug
  • joemetz
    joemetz Member Posts: 493
    #5
    Lovekitties said:

    Dear Barbara
    Arranging the future of your minor children is a responsibility everyone has in case the parent(s) are not here to do it. It is good that you have done it in the past and are now reviewing based on current situations.

    The best advice I can give is to consider the emotional, physical and financial needs your children will probably have until they are 18. While we like to think keeping them with the closest family member is best, it may not be given their circumstances.

    I suggest you discuss this with not only the friend you are considering but also with your adult children. It is vital that the designated person is agreebale and prepared to handle the challenge. It is also vital that those not chosen understand and agree with your decision. It will help prevent disputes in the event that your wishes must be executed.

    Knowing that their future is secure will relieve one burden from your shoulders.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties

    good advice
    Marie

    your note and advice here is the best!
    you have a wonderful grasp on life and on sharing your advice.

    you are one awesome person.

    thanks for sharing.

    Joe

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