Confused by news today, can you all help a bit?
Being who I am, I broke down a bit, left work for the afternoon because I couldn't sit there sniffling and started research. My Mom is rightfully upset and perhaps there's a lot of answers she has that I don't know yet but here's my questions...after researching, I learned that there is and isn't a stage 5 breast cancer. There seem to be 5 stages, but the worst is called stage 4 (with the least called 0). Why would the dr. say it was stage 5?
Also, they don't know if it's spread, so based on all the cancer sites, including this one, I'm not sure how they know it's stage 5. I just gathered that they did some tests and determined it's breast cancer. Is there something I'm missing?
She lives several states away and didn't tell anyone she found something because she "didn't want to ruin the holidays" so this is completely out of the blue. I deal with life best when I feel that I've researched the topic completely. Thank you everyone.
Comments
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Confusing news
Jones, I can certainly understand your confusion. I have never heard of stage 5, either, but I am no expert in this area. I am sure that your concern is magnified by the fact that she does not live near you. Maybe call her this weekend, to ask for more clarification.
You did not mention whether you were going to try to visit her, but, if you could be there for her surgery, you could perhaps learn more about the situation.
You & your mom are in my thoughts & prayers--let us know what happens, please.0 -
Take a deep breath.....
I know this is hard. My son was 900 miles away when I was diagnosed. The information I have is that until they do a lumpectomy, which they did to me, test that tissue, then decide if and how many lymph nodes they are going to take out to check, the staging is a guess. I had two types of cancer in the same breast. I chose to have the entire breast removed instead of another lumpectomy and am now 'cancer free'....if there is such a thing after having breast cancer. Until all the diagnostic stuff is done, you really don't know for sure what she's dealing with. I would imagine she's scared stiff and isn't understanding everything, or remembering. I was lucky enough to have my partner with me for every doctor appointment who took written notes for me for later. It helped SO much. If there isn't anyone there with her to do this, maybe she could take a digital recorder? Something...so she can read/listen to it when she's calmer and can make sense of things.
I'm sending positive thoughts.........
Minka0 -
Mom's New Diagnosis
First let me say that I am sorry that your mother and your family have to go through this. It is certainly not a place anyone wants to be.
You are right. Cancer is "staged" 0 through 4. Stage 4 means the cancer has metastasized to organs other than the area in which it originated. For instance, the original breast cancer has spread to the bones, brain, liver, or lungs.
It seems to me that you and your mother need a lot more information. What tests has she had done? Common ones include (but are not limited to) PET/CT scan, MRI, breast MRI, ultrasound,bone scan, needle aspiration, core needle biopsy, sentinel node biopsy, excision biopsy and axillary dissection. A less common test is the Tissue of Origin test. Has she received any pathology results? Exactly what type of surgery is being done next week?
Is it possible for someone to accompany your mother to her next doctor's appointment? Sometimes when you are upset you cannot properly process complex and upsetting information that is being given to you. It helps to have an additional set of ears with you.
After a cancer diagnosis it sometimes seems like time is moving at warp speed. You have to get an education in a subject with which you are not familiar very quickly. Please come here and post any questions. Someone here has already experienced what you are going through. You can always send someone a private message if you would prefer that, also.
Good luck and keep us posted.
IRENE0 -
Stage 5???
Dear Jones:
I'm sorry to hear about your mom but we are here to support you and
Your mom....
Was your mom by herself when the doctor gave her the news???
They are so many terms and extranges words doctors talk about that maybe she got the number wrong???
If they have to do another test to see if her lymph nodes are + or - maybe they dont no the stage yet...
Make sure your mother puts your name on her contact at her doctors so if you want to talk to them you can.
Make sure your mom doesn't go by herself to any appts...
Is very confusing sometimes...
If there anything i can help you with send me a message anytime...
Praying for you and your mom...0 -
Learning about Breast Cancer
Dear Jones1009,
I was diagnose with breast cancer before the internet. The best book on the topic that was so helpful to me is" Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book" for basic information. I believe since my diagnose 17 years ago, the book has been updated four times. It is an easy guide to understand what breast cancer is, the stages, the pathology, the tests that are needed, the kinds of treatments and all you ever wanted to know. Your local library more than likely has a copy of the book.
You can go to Dr. Love's web page but, I found the book easier. You can find basic information on this web page also and many other ones on the internet.
http://www.dslrf.org/breastcancer/content.asp?L2=3&SID=153
The procedure your mother is probably having is a sentinel node biopsy. That is to see if there is any cancer in the lymph nodes. The first few nodes will be removed, sent to a lab to be analyzed for cancer. If they don't have cancer, that is a good thing. If they do, it will allow her oncologist a better picture to give proper treatments.
As you probably read here and elsewhere there is no stage V. There is stages 0-3 which are the ones that are curable. Stage IV isn't but, women do live a long time these days with this diagnoses. It is treatable.
Learn all you can and then be there for her in person during her surgery or later. Be available to listen to her fears, pains and hopes.
Wishing your mom and you the best,
Doris0 -
Dear JonesSIROD said:Learning about Breast Cancer
Dear Jones1009,
I was diagnose with breast cancer before the internet. The best book on the topic that was so helpful to me is" Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book" for basic information. I believe since my diagnose 17 years ago, the book has been updated four times. It is an easy guide to understand what breast cancer is, the stages, the pathology, the tests that are needed, the kinds of treatments and all you ever wanted to know. Your local library more than likely has a copy of the book.
You can go to Dr. Love's web page but, I found the book easier. You can find basic information on this web page also and many other ones on the internet.
http://www.dslrf.org/breastcancer/content.asp?L2=3&SID=153
The procedure your mother is probably having is a sentinel node biopsy. That is to see if there is any cancer in the lymph nodes. The first few nodes will be removed, sent to a lab to be analyzed for cancer. If they don't have cancer, that is a good thing. If they do, it will allow her oncologist a better picture to give proper treatments.
As you probably read here and elsewhere there is no stage V. There is stages 0-3 which are the ones that are curable. Stage IV isn't but, women do live a long time these days with this diagnoses. It is treatable.
Learn all you can and then be there for her in person during her surgery or later. Be available to listen to her fears, pains and hopes.
Wishing your mom and you the best,
Doris
I have had stage four tnbc because of its size, I was told It was 7 cm. I got a lumpectomy.
As to your mom having stage 5, I've never heard of it. If you look it up on wikipedia and its there I would be amazed.
I know you have to digest this in piecemeal. Taking it in all at once you will think the worst.You are never alone in this world of cancer. This message board and all others are the friends and family that will hold you together.
Its a disease and your mom has an excellent chance of getting a good result from all the individualized therapies we have in 2012. There are many clinical trials starting up, and please get your mom to get a second opinion from one of the ten best cancer ceneters in the country. I did not, had a recurrence and am now a patient in NYC at MSKCC.
Good luck and keep posting to let us know,
Karen0 -
Thanks....GrammyKaren said:Dear Jones
I have had stage four tnbc because of its size, I was told It was 7 cm. I got a lumpectomy.
As to your mom having stage 5, I've never heard of it. If you look it up on wikipedia and its there I would be amazed.
I know you have to digest this in piecemeal. Taking it in all at once you will think the worst.You are never alone in this world of cancer. This message board and all others are the friends and family that will hold you together.
Its a disease and your mom has an excellent chance of getting a good result from all the individualized therapies we have in 2012. There are many clinical trials starting up, and please get your mom to get a second opinion from one of the ten best cancer ceneters in the country. I did not, had a recurrence and am now a patient in NYC at MSKCC.
Good luck and keep posting to let us know,
Karen
Thank you to everyone for responding so fast with such a varied but useful amount of knowledge. I think my Mom did get her results by herself today. But my Dad is there with her and as luck would have it my aunt is at the moment too (my Dad's sister). I spoke with my own sister tonight and we (and my brother) agree that there's a ton of holes in the information.
1. My Mom didn't tell us that she had even found a lump because she didn't want to "ruin the holidays". For anyone else reading this, please don't keep important health information from your adult children, it's better to learn with you than get a bomb dropped on you.
2. She said they aren't wasting time and that they will do the surgery next week and she wasn't sure if they were just taking out the tumor or doing a full mastectomy.
3. I don't know what tests she's had prior to this, but today was the first day the word cancer was used as far as we know.
4. Because they don't know the extent, I (and my brother and sister) are all wondering the same thing that you've all said and that she perhaps was flooded with emotions and questions and maybe got some information wrong.
5. She did tell me that the lump was rather large, so perhaps that is where the stage 4/5 diagnosis is coming in.
6. Knowing my Mom she may have been told that there were 5 stages of cancer and that her's was the worst. So that's maybe where the stage 5 came in to the conversation.
7. My sister actually just called a minute ago after speaking with my Dad (while I was typing) and I guess they did the mamagram, then an ultrasound and based on that, the doctor told her that it was fast moving and the worst kind.
So....based on our internet reserach on trusted sites like this one and all of your experiences, it sounds like the doctor loaded a whole bunch of "worst case scenario" on my Mom. Perhaps it is stage IV, but today it sounds like they just can't confirm that as stage IV means it's spread beyond the breast and I know that hasn't been confirmed.
And thank you for reiterating that stage IV also doesn't mean you can't beat it. I've never met a broad tougher or meaner than my Mom - and that's said with love! Cancer should actually be running scared away from her.
Also, I guess my Dad and Aunt will both be going with my Mom to her appt next week which is with a different doctor, so perhaps that will help calm everyone down a bit.
Thank you all though again for your reassurance and getting me through tonight!0 -
If she had stage 4 theyJones1009 said:Thanks....
Thank you to everyone for responding so fast with such a varied but useful amount of knowledge. I think my Mom did get her results by herself today. But my Dad is there with her and as luck would have it my aunt is at the moment too (my Dad's sister). I spoke with my own sister tonight and we (and my brother) agree that there's a ton of holes in the information.
1. My Mom didn't tell us that she had even found a lump because she didn't want to "ruin the holidays". For anyone else reading this, please don't keep important health information from your adult children, it's better to learn with you than get a bomb dropped on you.
2. She said they aren't wasting time and that they will do the surgery next week and she wasn't sure if they were just taking out the tumor or doing a full mastectomy.
3. I don't know what tests she's had prior to this, but today was the first day the word cancer was used as far as we know.
4. Because they don't know the extent, I (and my brother and sister) are all wondering the same thing that you've all said and that she perhaps was flooded with emotions and questions and maybe got some information wrong.
5. She did tell me that the lump was rather large, so perhaps that is where the stage 4/5 diagnosis is coming in.
6. Knowing my Mom she may have been told that there were 5 stages of cancer and that her's was the worst. So that's maybe where the stage 5 came in to the conversation.
7. My sister actually just called a minute ago after speaking with my Dad (while I was typing) and I guess they did the mamagram, then an ultrasound and based on that, the doctor told her that it was fast moving and the worst kind.
So....based on our internet reserach on trusted sites like this one and all of your experiences, it sounds like the doctor loaded a whole bunch of "worst case scenario" on my Mom. Perhaps it is stage IV, but today it sounds like they just can't confirm that as stage IV means it's spread beyond the breast and I know that hasn't been confirmed.
And thank you for reiterating that stage IV also doesn't mean you can't beat it. I've never met a broad tougher or meaner than my Mom - and that's said with love! Cancer should actually be running scared away from her.
Also, I guess my Dad and Aunt will both be going with my Mom to her appt next week which is with a different doctor, so perhaps that will help calm everyone down a bit.
Thank you all though again for your reassurance and getting me through tonight!
If she had stage 4 they would have no need to check lymph nodes. Perhaps her tumor is 4-5 cm in diameter which is fairly large. How the doc knows anything from a mammo or U/s is beyond me. one needs to wait for the pathology. she should keep a notebook. spend some time in the interim researching good docs and centers. Otherwise stay off the internet, not accurate and scary as heck. So she definately isnt stage 4 yet as she hasnt had the staging surgeries or scans. The only thing may be if the doctor felt any nodes on exam. But these are a lot of what ifs. She needs a biopsy. she needs answers. So for the weekend keep her disatracted and busy. Remind her there is life before, suring and after breast cancer. Feel free to post often and invite your mom to as well.0 -
hicarkris said:If she had stage 4 they
If she had stage 4 they would have no need to check lymph nodes. Perhaps her tumor is 4-5 cm in diameter which is fairly large. How the doc knows anything from a mammo or U/s is beyond me. one needs to wait for the pathology. she should keep a notebook. spend some time in the interim researching good docs and centers. Otherwise stay off the internet, not accurate and scary as heck. So she definately isnt stage 4 yet as she hasnt had the staging surgeries or scans. The only thing may be if the doctor felt any nodes on exam. But these are a lot of what ifs. She needs a biopsy. she needs answers. So for the weekend keep her disatracted and busy. Remind her there is life before, suring and after breast cancer. Feel free to post often and invite your mom to as well.
In today's oncologists groups, the concensus comes from Mammo, MRI, Pet ct scans and Guided imagery for needle biopsy. There really shouldn't be the rush to cut.
Analisys of her patholgy has to be evaluated if she TNBC or hormone driven.
Don't flip out by trying to get your phd. on cancer info on internet and please make sure she sees drs that are open and willing to have the patient get second and third opinions. No rush to cut is the way I feel about it. Sometimes chemo is used right away as a neoadjuvant approach.
Too much for you head right,
Hugs to u and your family,
Karen0 -
Clearing Things UpJones1009 said:Thanks....
Thank you to everyone for responding so fast with such a varied but useful amount of knowledge. I think my Mom did get her results by herself today. But my Dad is there with her and as luck would have it my aunt is at the moment too (my Dad's sister). I spoke with my own sister tonight and we (and my brother) agree that there's a ton of holes in the information.
1. My Mom didn't tell us that she had even found a lump because she didn't want to "ruin the holidays". For anyone else reading this, please don't keep important health information from your adult children, it's better to learn with you than get a bomb dropped on you.
2. She said they aren't wasting time and that they will do the surgery next week and she wasn't sure if they were just taking out the tumor or doing a full mastectomy.
3. I don't know what tests she's had prior to this, but today was the first day the word cancer was used as far as we know.
4. Because they don't know the extent, I (and my brother and sister) are all wondering the same thing that you've all said and that she perhaps was flooded with emotions and questions and maybe got some information wrong.
5. She did tell me that the lump was rather large, so perhaps that is where the stage 4/5 diagnosis is coming in.
6. Knowing my Mom she may have been told that there were 5 stages of cancer and that her's was the worst. So that's maybe where the stage 5 came in to the conversation.
7. My sister actually just called a minute ago after speaking with my Dad (while I was typing) and I guess they did the mamagram, then an ultrasound and based on that, the doctor told her that it was fast moving and the worst kind.
So....based on our internet reserach on trusted sites like this one and all of your experiences, it sounds like the doctor loaded a whole bunch of "worst case scenario" on my Mom. Perhaps it is stage IV, but today it sounds like they just can't confirm that as stage IV means it's spread beyond the breast and I know that hasn't been confirmed.
And thank you for reiterating that stage IV also doesn't mean you can't beat it. I've never met a broad tougher or meaner than my Mom - and that's said with love! Cancer should actually be running scared away from her.
Also, I guess my Dad and Aunt will both be going with my Mom to her appt next week which is with a different doctor, so perhaps that will help calm everyone down a bit.
Thank you all though again for your reassurance and getting me through tonight!
Hi,
I was originally diagnosed in 2003, my cancer came back in 2009 and I am stage IV. There are 5 stages of cancer as you heard in the messages above 0-4. I had surgery and chemo with my stage IV and it is now being treated with hormone therapy. I have bone mets and have been living with them for two and 1/2 years now. I'm doing well and have my energy back. Please don't fret to much until you have all the facts. You can drive yourself crazy doing that. Just pray for her and if she is half the person you say she is she will be in for the fight. Blessings to you and your family. Positivity goes a long way.
Terry0 -
I'm with the pink ladies i'v
I'm with the pink ladies i'v never heard of stage 5 and until they do biopsy which some people call surgery they don't know whats going on so wait till they get all that info and go from there then she can decide the best course for her just remember breast cancer is very curable even when its stage 4 and in the lymph nodes they can be removed if there cancer as.Strength,courage and hope.Frankie0 -
Your most reliable source
Your most reliable source of information at this point is right on this site. Under cancer information you can see some videos that give really good explanations of the stages and types of breast cancer. Once you go to cancer infromation just type in breast cancer and you should be able to find the videos.
So sad that you had to join us but glad you came here to get reliable information0 -
Confusing yeslaughs_a_lot said:Your most reliable source
Your most reliable source of information at this point is right on this site. Under cancer information you can see some videos that give really good explanations of the stages and types of breast cancer. Once you go to cancer infromation just type in breast cancer and you should be able to find the videos.
So sad that you had to join us but glad you came here to get reliable information
Someone needs to go with her to the dr. appt. The news can be overwhelming, and one person may not hear or comprehend the info. the dr. is giving them.
When you are the one who gets the cancer diagnosis, your mind just blanks out. Lump in throat, trying to breath, the dr. now sounds like Charlie Browns teacher.0 -
I've never heard of stage 5,Tux said:Confusing news
Jones, I can certainly understand your confusion. I have never heard of stage 5, either, but I am no expert in this area. I am sure that your concern is magnified by the fact that she does not live near you. Maybe call her this weekend, to ask for more clarification.
You did not mention whether you were going to try to visit her, but, if you could be there for her surgery, you could perhaps learn more about the situation.
You & your mom are in my thoughts & prayers--let us know what happens, please.
I've never heard of stage 5, only stage 0 thru 4. I will be praying for your mom and you!
Hugs, Leeza0 -
Hang in therems.sunshine said:Confusing yes
Someone needs to go with her to the dr. appt. The news can be overwhelming, and one person may not hear or comprehend the info. the dr. is giving them.
When you are the one who gets the cancer diagnosis, your mind just blanks out. Lump in throat, trying to breath, the dr. now sounds like Charlie Browns teacher.
I'm sorry you're experiencing this pain of not knowing and for your mothers d/x. The first week is the longest and the worst. Everyone has given you the most accurate info you can expect so far. Lots of tests are ran before staging is given. No matter what they find, she will get through this week, and the next. It's just so hard to capture so much information when its you or your loved one that they're talking about.
I have a link to my wife's blog in my profile where I've documented my wifes treatments. You can follow to see what we've experienced since November. But everyone is different; cancer, treatment, side effects, response to treatments. The only thing the same is the experience. Again, I'm so sorry you had to find us this way but I hope you keep posting what you learn and comb over these discussions for some guidance.
All our prayers,
Tony0 -
My first thought is to seeJones1009 said:Thanks....
Thank you to everyone for responding so fast with such a varied but useful amount of knowledge. I think my Mom did get her results by herself today. But my Dad is there with her and as luck would have it my aunt is at the moment too (my Dad's sister). I spoke with my own sister tonight and we (and my brother) agree that there's a ton of holes in the information.
1. My Mom didn't tell us that she had even found a lump because she didn't want to "ruin the holidays". For anyone else reading this, please don't keep important health information from your adult children, it's better to learn with you than get a bomb dropped on you.
2. She said they aren't wasting time and that they will do the surgery next week and she wasn't sure if they were just taking out the tumor or doing a full mastectomy.
3. I don't know what tests she's had prior to this, but today was the first day the word cancer was used as far as we know.
4. Because they don't know the extent, I (and my brother and sister) are all wondering the same thing that you've all said and that she perhaps was flooded with emotions and questions and maybe got some information wrong.
5. She did tell me that the lump was rather large, so perhaps that is where the stage 4/5 diagnosis is coming in.
6. Knowing my Mom she may have been told that there were 5 stages of cancer and that her's was the worst. So that's maybe where the stage 5 came in to the conversation.
7. My sister actually just called a minute ago after speaking with my Dad (while I was typing) and I guess they did the mamagram, then an ultrasound and based on that, the doctor told her that it was fast moving and the worst kind.
So....based on our internet reserach on trusted sites like this one and all of your experiences, it sounds like the doctor loaded a whole bunch of "worst case scenario" on my Mom. Perhaps it is stage IV, but today it sounds like they just can't confirm that as stage IV means it's spread beyond the breast and I know that hasn't been confirmed.
And thank you for reiterating that stage IV also doesn't mean you can't beat it. I've never met a broad tougher or meaner than my Mom - and that's said with love! Cancer should actually be running scared away from her.
Also, I guess my Dad and Aunt will both be going with my Mom to her appt next week which is with a different doctor, so perhaps that will help calm everyone down a bit.
Thank you all though again for your reassurance and getting me through tonight!
My first thought is to see if you could do an on phone conference call during her next appt. Not knowing your Mother I don't know what she would be comfortable with doing but you could ask her to put you on the list with each of her various Drs that would allow you to call them and get info directly from them or their PA/Rn. They can not legally give info without permission - it can be granted for a particular time or for anytime. Hubby and Son can call any of my Drs and get any info IF they feel the need - they never have as I am very open and thorough with what I've been told - but they have that option if they feel they need/want it..
There definately are a lot of holes in what you've found out so far. It could be that there are still the holes with your Mom's DX or she's not telling/understanding . What scans has she had - full body CAT, MRI, Bone, PET? You say 'her Dr.' - is this her PC, the Radiololgist who did Mammo/Sono/biopsy, Surgeon, Chemo Dr or Rads Dr? Has she been to a Cancer Center? If so they sould have a Breast Cancer Navigatolr who can give her so much info and help her (and family) navigate through all this. Her local ACS has lots of info and help (yours too for you).
She(You) need to find out the type (DCIS/LCIS/IDC/ILC/IBC), ER/PR and HER2 status. Treatment is someqhat different with each. With IBC (the most aggressive form) especially when coupled with Triple Negative (ER/PR- and HER2 -) Chemo comes before surgery.
There is no way of knowing what the future holds as unfortunately there is no CURE for the Monxter named Cancer but we can be NED ( No Evidence of Disease) for a vey long time.
Research - Research - Research and never stop. But donßt be fooled by 'Snake Oil Salesmen'.
Thoughts and Prayers
Susan0 -
Hi JonesSlowRollin said:Hang in there
I'm sorry you're experiencing this pain of not knowing and for your mothers d/x. The first week is the longest and the worst. Everyone has given you the most accurate info you can expect so far. Lots of tests are ran before staging is given. No matter what they find, she will get through this week, and the next. It's just so hard to capture so much information when its you or your loved one that they're talking about.
I have a link to my wife's blog in my profile where I've documented my wifes treatments. You can follow to see what we've experienced since November. But everyone is different; cancer, treatment, side effects, response to treatments. The only thing the same is the experience. Again, I'm so sorry you had to find us this way but I hope you keep posting what you learn and comb over these discussions for some guidance.
All our prayers,
Tony
I am sure by now your head is reeling. Its best if your mom has someone , preferably with some knowledge to go with her. I sat and listened with my daughter and it had to be re explained over again. I went to look for research and overload set in.
That isn't a good thing and panic happens.
Cancer is a disease but not a death sentence. I am triple neg. Do you know if your mom is or isn't. There are very devoted patients' advocates on other cancer sites that will go with mom so they grasp what she will hear when she goes for her appts. 2nd opinions are a must maybe even 3rd depends on what is really going on.
In your corner, please let us know how she and you are doing!
Sending you strength and love,
Karen0 -
Telling adult children and info from doctors
Have your mom take a tape recorder with. I wish I had done that because one appointment I took a friend who was so overwhelmed with the new terms that we both missed lots of info.
I did not tell my adult children either until I had all the results and surgery scheduled. I really didn't do that to "protect" them. It is hard to describe what you go through when you hear those 3 words "You have Cancer". I am a nurse and a realist and I walked into the doctors office pretty much knowing what I was going to hear and it knocked me on my butt. It took me time to deal and accept it and figure out my next step. I can tell you for the past 6 months of my treatment I have not been able to think too much about anyone else or their feelings. I just don't have the energy for that right now. So try not to judge your mom for not telling you. There is really no manual that comes with getting cancer and we all handle things differently.0 -
Did your Mom have herms.sunshine said:Confusing yes
Someone needs to go with her to the dr. appt. The news can be overwhelming, and one person may not hear or comprehend the info. the dr. is giving them.
When you are the one who gets the cancer diagnosis, your mind just blanks out. Lump in throat, trying to breath, the dr. now sounds like Charlie Browns teacher.
Did your Mom have her surgery this week? How is she doing? Sending prayers for her!
Hugs, Leeza0 -
A friend of mineatiredparent said:Telling adult children and info from doctors
Have your mom take a tape recorder with. I wish I had done that because one appointment I took a friend who was so overwhelmed with the new terms that we both missed lots of info.
I did not tell my adult children either until I had all the results and surgery scheduled. I really didn't do that to "protect" them. It is hard to describe what you go through when you hear those 3 words "You have Cancer". I am a nurse and a realist and I walked into the doctors office pretty much knowing what I was going to hear and it knocked me on my butt. It took me time to deal and accept it and figure out my next step. I can tell you for the past 6 months of my treatment I have not been able to think too much about anyone else or their feelings. I just don't have the energy for that right now. So try not to judge your mom for not telling you. There is really no manual that comes with getting cancer and we all handle things differently.
A friend of mine was dx with bc 7 years ago.It was fast growing.Her doctor told her life for the next week to 1 1/2 weeks would be fast.All tests and surgery scheduled would be done very soon.She is doing good so far.
A classmate and friend was dx Stage 4/5. She passed a year ago but did survive 12 years.She had quite a few lymph nodes involved too.I believe 12 nodes involved. I think they count like
Stage 0-4. 5 Stages.
I think at times not telling we just want to be private till we know something.I had a benign tumor found in July.No surgery but watching it.Some of my family still doesn't know.If it would be something I would tell them.I'm not going to get antsy anymore and tell everyone till I know what is really going on.Like tiredparent said,We all handle things differently.
I wasn't private at first but I am now.
Lynn Smith0
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