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wow twice in a life time

Posts: 20
Joined: Nov 2011

Hello-5 years ago my husband by chance discovered he had Kidney cancer-It began a long road-kidney removed-all scans from the neck down perfect-2.5 years ago he felt funny-many doctors and finally the last er-They scanned his brain thinking he had a stroke.he came home october 26th and left me November 6th 2009. So November not good to begin with-So my sisters call me while I am at work-My mother 77 has just been diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma-small tumor-but the entire kidney they are removing. I am having such a hard time with this-my heart aches-really-My husband and now my mother. Hope is there but how do I handle this

DarrylPe's picture
Posts: 75
Joined: Mar 2011

Hi Kmgerhke sorry for your troubles. Sounds like a lot of has been handed to you at once .I had my right kidney removed on April 13 of this year. In some cases total removal of the kidney (Radical Nephrectomy ) is conducted to ensure that the cancer is kept from spreading. However your mother might be able to have a small part of the kidney removed .Get as much info as possible and ask questions this site is a great place to start . You should know that even with her kidney removed your mother could go on to have a normal life . Stay strong keep faith and hope. I keep you and your family in my prayers.

Posts: 20
Joined: Nov 2011

Just so hard-I already asked all the questions years ago-And understand it all-Just hard to hear those words-She just had open heart surgery 5 months ago-and this is like the 10th medical thing in 10 years.I thing any other type cancer would have been okay but Kidney-just feel sucker punched. but this to shall pass just can not be strong for her-Not yet need to settle myself.wish I did not know.I know better just emotionally can not handle it.Not yet.

Vagusto's picture
Posts: 86
Joined: Aug 2011

I was diagnosed with kidney cancer two years ago. My Father passed away from kidney cancer. There is nothing like hearing those words, "you have cancer." Everybody deals with
the diagnosis differently. For me, having people say....don't worry....it will be fine...
is of no comfort. You will find your own way of handling what life has put in front of you. My only suggestion is that you do figure out how to be there for your Mom, because feeling like nobody wants to talk about cancer, will be hard on her and may make it seem like you don't care. (which I know isn't true) Feeling like the huge elephant in the room is no fun, speaking from experience.
Take Care, and give yourself some time to come to terms with this.

jhsu's picture
Posts: 80
Joined: Sep 2009

I got my StageIV RCC in 2008 at age of 49. My Mother is 90 years old, she just had her left kidney removed this summer because of RCC too. Life goes on and we still alive and kicking after the surgery.

Don’t get stuck in the mood, whatever happened already happened, let it go.


Posts: 20
Joined: Nov 2011

I wish I could just let it go-But not quite that easy 5 years ago I heard got it all and life will be ok-and it wasnt-Now we go through it again at least I know what to ask for and be aggressive enough to hopefully get through my sisters to have it done-for mom lives in NY and I in Florida

garym's picture
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

Dear kmgerhke,

I'm very sorry to hear that you are having to go through this a second time when once was one too many times. Prior to my diagnosis we lost my father in-law and then six friends to rcc so I know a little bit about how you feel, I was sure it was a death sentence when they told me. The tendency is to believe that all rcc is the same and will yield the same result, but in fact there are so many variables that no two cases are the exactly alike.

Without much information to go on here, my advice would be to look for the differences between your husband and your mom both pre-op and post pathology. Comparing my situation and records to those I had close association with gave me greater understanding and hope that I would survive when so many I knew, did not. I still lean heavily on them, they are my guardian angels. I hope this helps.

You are in my thoughts and prayers,


Posts: 20
Joined: Nov 2011

Agreed-each person is different-So now we are waiting-there are 2 options for my mother-Surgery or not-And one choice for me-I am waiting to see when I am packing and going home to live with my mother till she is back to normal or God takes her. All is up to her and her doctors I just know at this moment I need to be there-Always said I would be there when she needed me the most-all the times she had surgery i was not able to make it there and never felt as if it was a need. I know this disease to personally and after surgery she will need me a great deal. And she is strong she just had open heart surgery in june. So its of to the cold and snow I go

foxhd's picture
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

We all have to deal with the mortality of ourselves and our loved ones. You will do it. In mid October, my sister passed away from complications of end stage kidney disease. Ten hours later my oncologist tells me I could have as little as 6 months to live. Boy , that sucked. But I am doing great and will be here a long time. Helping your mom will make you stronger. Good luck.

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