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I am scared of the future

mef123
Posts: 45
Joined: Oct 2011

See I have bipolar and an anxiety disorder. I am on Social Security Disability Income because I can not work. I have had 4 hospitalizations because of self harm. I'm a mess. I worry so much about my husband because I love him so much but I don't know what we would do without him. First financially it would be a disaster, I don't know how we would live, secondly they probably would have to commit me because I would have a nervous breakdown, literally. It would be my breaking point. I'm already in a fragile state because of my bipolar and anxiety. I know this is all me , me , me, and I'm thinking too far into the future when I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm scared of everything...

Please don't think me bad.

Michele

Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

Michele, I don't think bad of you. I am sorry you are in this situation. I know what you mean about being afraid of the future, I have had similar thoughts. You really have to do your self a favor and focus on just one day at a time. I know that seems impossible but you are going to wear your mind out worrying about it all if you continue. I have had days where all I wanted to do was go to bed and not get up, I didn't want to see anyone or function at all.
Is there someone that you can talk to i.e. counselor, pastor, doctor? I hate the thought of you going through all these feelings alone. It's good that you posted, you are reaching out and that is what you need to do. I pray that you find peace and strength, you are probably stronger than you think you are so don't think the worst of how you are going to handle things. Try to find little things in your life that you are thankful for, it helps. Hang on... there are people out here thinking and praying for you. GOD's blessings.
Brenda

mef123
Posts: 45
Joined: Oct 2011

I feel selfish, here my husband is sick and I'm thinking about me. I'm thinking about him also though. I do see a therapist for my anxiety so we have been discussing this and I see a psychiatrist who I have also shared this with. I also have a good support system with my family. Thanks for you kind words.

Michele

janie1
Posts: 753
Joined: Apr 2011

Yes, you already know to try not to think too far out. Take every day one at a time. I am glad you have come here for additional support. Please continue that, and ask any questions you need to. We are all in this together. We are not mental health professionals so continue to get the professional guidance you need in that area. It will be important to keep calm and understand your own medication necessities. Trust your therapist and doctors, they understand your illness like no one. You have a good support system. Please allow them to help you, and also to be there for your husband. They want to do this for you and your husband. If you think we could be helpful to your husband, maybe have him come to this site, also.

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