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Advice on Arragements

Posts: 37
Joined: Jun 2010

I guess it's time I started facing the finality of her condition. She is doing ok all things considered, but her strength is waning and she sleeps 80% of the time.

Little appetite and hardly any desire for anything other than chocolate ice cream.

Now my confusion....She will be buried about 2 & 1/2 hours from our home, back to her family's hometown. How do I handle the transportation from the funeral home here, where a memorial service will be held, to the church/cemetery where she is to be buried?

Is it better to call a funeral service in her hometown to come here and handle the transporting or have one here where we live do the whole thing?

It's getting to where I just can't think straight half the time. I am walking in circles trying to keep up with all that needs to be done now and the things to come.

I'm loosing my sweetie and it's getting harder and harder to deal with the daily things.


palmyrafan's picture
Posts: 397
Joined: Mar 2011

I am so sorry that you are having to plan all of this at this difficult time.

I would speak with both funeral homes. First, talk to the local one and see what arrangements they can offer to transport your loved one to her final resting place. Then contact the hometown funeral home and see what services/support they can offer. Hopefully, a compromise can be reached between the 2 and you will be able to help coordinate the final plans.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.


Posts: 1154
Joined: Jun 2010

I would post on the grief discssion board, just as you have it noted here. That is an active board and would know from personal expwrience since they already went thru it. There are a couple of people who have recently lost someone.

Posts: 1846
Joined: Aug 2010

I've had to make a similar decision recently: the funeral home I dealt with had an "all inclusive" cost that accomodated a trip to pick up your loved one and transport them to their facility. May be the funeral home where y'all are headed has the same kind of arrangement available.

Please look under cancer.org. There is a very good layout of things that need to be done as the time gets closer. Kind of steps you through some things and helps keep you on track.

Also, please call a good friend or relative to help you keep things straight. Get a notebook and keep it with you that has all the phone numbers you will need for hospice (who also can provide excellent information for end of life), your religious leader (our minister is very good at knowing the next steps), people you will want to call after she passes...

Hugs, John. I'm sorry you are having to face this.

Posts: 200
Joined: Jan 2010

Can you tell me where to find the info you are referring to on the cancer.org website? I believe I will be needing it in the near future. Thanks.

Posts: 1846
Joined: Aug 2010

Do a search for that section, slg.


jimwins's picture
Posts: 2111
Joined: Aug 2011

As other suggested, maybe you can get a close friend/relative, minister or someone
to help you with all of this. I know it is very difficult.
And of course you can come here as much as you like.



dearfoam's picture
Posts: 82
Joined: Apr 2011

I haven't had to call in hospice, but have interviewed some in my town. I was told by the chaplain of one that she would personally see to help make sure all those arrangements (service, transport, etc) were in place as part of the job. I am sure every organization is a little different, but if you have hospice care, or are considering it, this might help you a lot.

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