through my tears
I can't stop crying, yet at the same time, I am relieved that he is not suffering any more. He had a really bad couple of days leading up to his death, and this time gave me the strength to say goodbye and give him permission and blessings to leave me. I will miss him every day for the rest of my life.
I will post more later, but right now, it's just too hard....
love you all, hope everyone is well. I'll try to catch up on all of you soon, but for now, I am thinking of you
love,
Chantal
Comments
-
My prayers are with you
Chantal,
I am so sorry to hear that Lee has passed. We will remember his humor, strength, and gentle soul.
We will miss him very much.
My prayers are with you, may God give you peace and strength during this time.
With my condolences,
Paul Adams
McCormick, South Carolina0 -
I am so truly sorry...paul61 said:My prayers are with you
Chantal,
I am so sorry to hear that Lee has passed. We will remember his humor, strength, and gentle soul.
We will miss him very much.
My prayers are with you, may God give you peace and strength during this time.
With my condolences,
Paul Adams
McCormick, South Carolina
Chantal, we've never communicated but I've followed your journey for months now. I am so very sorry for the loss of your wonderful Lee. You will be in my prayers and I'll pray that you'll be able to find the strength to face the next difficult days and months. Love to you. Kim0 -
Lee is my father
Go ahead delete this post, I don't care . but if at least one person takes the time to read this, at least someone is hearing me. I love/loved my father. yes I have been angry at him for how he has treated my brother and I, for the abuse, for the disownment when we did nothing wrong. All I wanted was a chance to say goodbye to my father before he passed on, now he is gone I can never say goodbye to my own dad. there will be no mention of us in his obituary, no condolences for us, no "i'll pray for you" My stomach is churning writing this, it makes me physically feel sick that my dad has died, and I never had a chance to say goodbye, not because of lack of effort, but because no one, not even lee himself would acknowledge myself or my little brother. I have not seen him since I was 16. I wonder if i will ever get my baby videos back he made of me, and so painstakingly edited, on vhs no less. Alas, they are probably in the trash, just like me. do you know he has 4 granddaughters, who now never had the chance to meet their only living grandfather? I promised my oldest last year I would one day take her to meet him, now she never will. I wish I could cry over his death, maybe one day i will, but for now I am filled with anger, anger because there were people who could have said to him, "hey you know your kids, the ones you had with your first wife? yeah since you have cancer, maybe you should get in contact with them.", and I'm also filled with sorrow, for the questions that will never be answered, like how have you been, what did you do with your life for the last 11 years? In a strange way I miss him, I miss the good times, I miss pizza nights, and the tickle monster, I miss him drawing pictures for me, inspiring me to become an artist and try harder. I miss his sandwiches, he always made the best. I missed his numerous talents for making me laugh, like talking like donald duck, or scooby doo. I wish I could cry, I really do, I know this will just get deleted, my feelings again shoved aside. I'm not a person after all, i don't exist, i don't have feelings, I don't matter. I love you dad, I really wish I could have said that to you in person, I tried, I really really tried.0 -
Take Care
Lee touched so many lives here on the board. He will not be forgotten. I'm sure his post will help many people for many years. Hold your head high Chantal.0 -
Chantal,
My thoughts and
Chantal,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so sorry to hear that Lee lost his battle this morning. Take whatever time you need, just know we all love you here and are praying for you and the family.
May you find comfort in the memories of your life together.
Hugs and prayers,
Cindy0 -
Tears here too
I am so so sorry to hear this news. It hurts to read. Lee had a spark about him that you could feel even through his posts so I can only imagine how truely special he was to really know. I thank God that we got to know him here. I do take comfort in knowing he is in a better place without pain. We all love you and wrap our arms around you to try to comfort you even if we are miles away.
Sadness and Respect0 -
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry to hear this devastating news Chantal. Lee truly was an inspiration to so many on this wonderful board. I know he is now in a better place with no pain and suffering and he will be with you in your heart forever. I pray that you can find some peace in knowing that.
Hugs to you
Rita0 -
Dearest Chantal,ritawaite13 said:I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry to hear this devastating news Chantal. Lee truly was an inspiration to so many on this wonderful board. I know he is now in a better place with no pain and suffering and he will be with you in your heart forever. I pray that you can find some peace in knowing that.
Hugs to you
Rita
I am so unbelievably saddened by your awful news. Although I am only new here I have followed your journey daily. Though this is a monumentally sad time for you, I hope you know you are surrounded and supported by this loving and caring community to which you both have contributed such love, concern and inspiration. We are all feeling deeply for your loss and wish you the easiest path possible through this time of grieving. Through tears...
Love and hugs
Marilyn0 -
Oh Chantal
I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear about Lee. Wish there were magic words to say to ease the pain but there aren't any that would work. He's at peace now. I feel so bad, you both fought with such love and courage. Please accept my deepest sympathies.
jan0 -
such sad news
Dear Chantal;
I was very saddened to read of Lee's passing, even though, through all your posts, knowing that this news was imminent, its still hard to read. We all hope and pray for that one miracle, but unfortantely, this was not to be. My heart aches for what you are having to go through right now - I just hope that you are surrounded by family and friends who are supportive and loving that can ease your pain, if only for a moment. My other hope is that in time, all those wonderful memories you and Lee have shared together, will somehow bring you peace. My thoughts are with you right now Chantal and as you always say to others, "please be well".
Teresa0 -
SorryT-Bird said:such sad news
Dear Chantal;
I was very saddened to read of Lee's passing, even though, through all your posts, knowing that this news was imminent, its still hard to read. We all hope and pray for that one miracle, but unfortantely, this was not to be. My heart aches for what you are having to go through right now - I just hope that you are surrounded by family and friends who are supportive and loving that can ease your pain, if only for a moment. My other hope is that in time, all those wonderful memories you and Lee have shared together, will somehow bring you peace. My thoughts are with you right now Chantal and as you always say to others, "please be well".
Teresa
Chantal,
may you find as much peace as you can during this time. Lee will always be an angel looking over you. You were a wonderful caregiver. Hold your head up high. Remember those beautiful peaceful moments you had together. May God keep you close in the coming days.
Danielle0 -
Dearest Chantal
I have been where you are and know just how hard it is. You will get through this, one day, one minute at a time. Breathe deeply, let the tears come when they will, and let the love you two shared settle in your heart as you go about these most difficult days.
Reach out to those who love you. Let them support you.
And remember that love is always with you.
Sincerely,
Jo-Ann0 -
Dear Lolobilolobi said:Lee is my father
Go ahead delete this post, I don't care . but if at least one person takes the time to read this, at least someone is hearing me. I love/loved my father. yes I have been angry at him for how he has treated my brother and I, for the abuse, for the disownment when we did nothing wrong. All I wanted was a chance to say goodbye to my father before he passed on, now he is gone I can never say goodbye to my own dad. there will be no mention of us in his obituary, no condolences for us, no "i'll pray for you" My stomach is churning writing this, it makes me physically feel sick that my dad has died, and I never had a chance to say goodbye, not because of lack of effort, but because no one, not even lee himself would acknowledge myself or my little brother. I have not seen him since I was 16. I wonder if i will ever get my baby videos back he made of me, and so painstakingly edited, on vhs no less. Alas, they are probably in the trash, just like me. do you know he has 4 granddaughters, who now never had the chance to meet their only living grandfather? I promised my oldest last year I would one day take her to meet him, now she never will. I wish I could cry over his death, maybe one day i will, but for now I am filled with anger, anger because there were people who could have said to him, "hey you know your kids, the ones you had with your first wife? yeah since you have cancer, maybe you should get in contact with them.", and I'm also filled with sorrow, for the questions that will never be answered, like how have you been, what did you do with your life for the last 11 years? In a strange way I miss him, I miss the good times, I miss pizza nights, and the tickle monster, I miss him drawing pictures for me, inspiring me to become an artist and try harder. I miss his sandwiches, he always made the best. I missed his numerous talents for making me laugh, like talking like donald duck, or scooby doo. I wish I could cry, I really do, I know this will just get deleted, my feelings again shoved aside. I'm not a person after all, i don't exist, i don't have feelings, I don't matter. I love you dad, I really wish I could have said that to you in person, I tried, I really really tried.
I am so very sorry over the loss of your father. I do hope that as time goes on, you will find comfort in those happy memories. Time has a way of softening hurt and grief. I know.
Peace to you in the coming days,
Jo-Ann0 -
sad to hear thisjojoshort said:Dearest Chantal
I have been where you are and know just how hard it is. You will get through this, one day, one minute at a time. Breathe deeply, let the tears come when they will, and let the love you two shared settle in your heart as you go about these most difficult days.
Reach out to those who love you. Let them support you.
And remember that love is always with you.
Sincerely,
Jo-Ann
Dear Chantal,
I have been praying for Lee and you and hoping that he would have a peaceful end and sad to hear he has gone already and the last days were not good ones. My prayers will continue, there are no words I can say that could express my sadness at hearing this and knowing how heartbroken you and everyone who loved him, including all of us on the board are. many hugs from afar,
Donna700 -
Lauralolobi said:Lee is my father
Go ahead delete this post, I don't care . but if at least one person takes the time to read this, at least someone is hearing me. I love/loved my father. yes I have been angry at him for how he has treated my brother and I, for the abuse, for the disownment when we did nothing wrong. All I wanted was a chance to say goodbye to my father before he passed on, now he is gone I can never say goodbye to my own dad. there will be no mention of us in his obituary, no condolences for us, no "i'll pray for you" My stomach is churning writing this, it makes me physically feel sick that my dad has died, and I never had a chance to say goodbye, not because of lack of effort, but because no one, not even lee himself would acknowledge myself or my little brother. I have not seen him since I was 16. I wonder if i will ever get my baby videos back he made of me, and so painstakingly edited, on vhs no less. Alas, they are probably in the trash, just like me. do you know he has 4 granddaughters, who now never had the chance to meet their only living grandfather? I promised my oldest last year I would one day take her to meet him, now she never will. I wish I could cry over his death, maybe one day i will, but for now I am filled with anger, anger because there were people who could have said to him, "hey you know your kids, the ones you had with your first wife? yeah since you have cancer, maybe you should get in contact with them.", and I'm also filled with sorrow, for the questions that will never be answered, like how have you been, what did you do with your life for the last 11 years? In a strange way I miss him, I miss the good times, I miss pizza nights, and the tickle monster, I miss him drawing pictures for me, inspiring me to become an artist and try harder. I miss his sandwiches, he always made the best. I missed his numerous talents for making me laugh, like talking like donald duck, or scooby doo. I wish I could cry, I really do, I know this will just get deleted, my feelings again shoved aside. I'm not a person after all, i don't exist, i don't have feelings, I don't matter. I love you dad, I really wish I could have said that to you in person, I tried, I really really tried.
I am sending you a private message Laura. This post is very misleading, and you have failed to state the TRUE reasons why your father was a missing part of your life. Lee loved you and Gregory more than anything in this world. You may have been too young to remember the details, but perhaps your mother could fill you in, now that you are older. I certainly could fill you in, with proof, but since you don't know me, I don't know if you would even care.
Please read my private message, and call me if you wish, I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Chantal0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.6K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 308 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 395 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.3K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 791 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 235 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 56 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.4K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 534 Sarcoma
- 719 Skin Cancer
- 647 Stomach Cancer
- 190 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.9K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards