NEW TO THIS NETWORK

HI I AM 26 YEARS OLD AND IN MARCH OF THIS YEAR I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH OVARIAN CANCER. IT ALL STARTED WHEN I WENT TO GET MY PHYSICAL, MENTION TO MY DOCTOR SOME PAIN ON MY PELVIS AREA I HAD AND SHE SENT ME TO GET AN ULTRASOUND. IN MY ULTRASOUND THEY FOUND A CYST ON EACH OF MY OVARIES AND THEY WERE HUGE. AT THE BEGINNING THEY DIDNT KNOW I HAD CANCER BUT IT WAS A POSSIBILITY HOWEVER THERE WAS ALSO THE POSSIBILITY OF ME LOSING EVERYTHING AND NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS. DAYS PRIOR TO MY SURGERY I WAS HAVING A HORRIBLE TIME BECAUSE I WAS UNCERTAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING BUT MOST OF ALL NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE A FAMILY. I KNEW IN MY HEART THAT IF I HAD CANCER I WAS GOING TO FIGHT THROUGHT IT AND BEAT IT BUT HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE KIDS. DURING MY SURGERY THEY DID A BYOPSI AND TURNS OUT I DID HAVE CANCER STAGE 2 AND IN THE PROCESS HAD A HYSTERECTOMY. TWO WEEKS AFTER MY SURGERY I BEGAN THE TREATMENT FOR CHEMO- 6 CYCLES. MY HAIR DIDNT START FALLING UNTIL THE BEGINNING OF MY SECOND CYCLE AND THAT HIT ME HARD. I HAVE ALWAYS HAD VERY THICK HAIR AND SEEN IT FALL WITH SUCH EASE WAS SO HARD; BUT LIKE MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS USED TO TELL ME IT WILL GROW BACK. MY FIRST THREE CYCLES WENT BY QUICK, OR AT LEAST THATS HOW IT FELT, THE LAST THREE WERE SO HARD AND ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE. NOW THANKS TO THE LORD, THE PRAYERS AND SUPPORT OF ALL MY LOVE ONES I HAVE FINISHED AND ALL MY EXAMS HAVE COME OUT GOOD. THE DOCTOR IS SO POSITIVE ABOUT EVERYTHING IT MAKES ME STAY POSITIVE.

Comments

  • Robkel7
    Robkel7 Member Posts: 68
    Nice to meet you!
    Not such a great place to meet, but I am so happy that you are done with chemo. I just finished last week myself and am so looking forward to having some hair. My head is COLD. :D My last chemo was so hard too. I thought they were all not so great, haha, but that last one put me down good! I went back to work today after taking a few days off, and other than chemo brain (i am a h.s. social studies teacher) which made the day a little tough, I made it! I will pray for a great result for you and I hope you will keep me in your prayers too!

    Hugs,
    Robin
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    Robkel7 said:

    Nice to meet you!
    Not such a great place to meet, but I am so happy that you are done with chemo. I just finished last week myself and am so looking forward to having some hair. My head is COLD. :D My last chemo was so hard too. I thought they were all not so great, haha, but that last one put me down good! I went back to work today after taking a few days off, and other than chemo brain (i am a h.s. social studies teacher) which made the day a little tough, I made it! I will pray for a great result for you and I hope you will keep me in your prayers too!

    Hugs,
    Robin

    welcome to the network
    I am so sorry you had to go through this at such a young age. We have several ladies here in your age range. I am glad your tests came back good, and your family is there to support you. This board will will be your lifeline as we know all to well what you have gone through. Stay strong and keep the faith,,,,val
  • eyalvarez
    eyalvarez Member Posts: 8
    Robkel7 said:

    Nice to meet you!
    Not such a great place to meet, but I am so happy that you are done with chemo. I just finished last week myself and am so looking forward to having some hair. My head is COLD. :D My last chemo was so hard too. I thought they were all not so great, haha, but that last one put me down good! I went back to work today after taking a few days off, and other than chemo brain (i am a h.s. social studies teacher) which made the day a little tough, I made it! I will pray for a great result for you and I hope you will keep me in your prayers too!

    Hugs,
    Robin

    thank you so much, will keep
    thank you so much, will keep you in my prayers, all of you. i havent been back to work yet my family feels and at times i feel i should wait a little bit just to try to get situated with my new life. should i go back to work? sometimes i dont know what to do with my life since the course it was taken i can no longer take. it scares me to say it and to feel it but i feel lost. sometimes i dont feel like my old self, when i look in the mirror sometimes i no longer see myself. my husband tells me its because i dont have hair but i tell him i can see past that and i am no longer the person i was before this journey. am i wrong for feeling this way? thank you so much for listening to me...

    hugs
    evelin
  • eyalvarez
    eyalvarez Member Posts: 8

    welcome to the network
    I am so sorry you had to go through this at such a young age. We have several ladies here in your age range. I am glad your tests came back good, and your family is there to support you. This board will will be your lifeline as we know all to well what you have gone through. Stay strong and keep the faith,,,,val

    thank you. you know before
    thank you. you know before yesterday i did not want to do any research or find support groups in regards to cancer, but yesterday i told myself i need too. there are so many people, unfortunately, who are going through a similar situation as mine and having somebody understand me should be good for me. i am glad i joined this group of people, its not the greatest group to be in (because i know nobody would like to have cancer) but the support and encouragement all of you give to each other is great.
  • CindyGSD
    CindyGSD Member Posts: 190
    eyalvarez said:

    thank you so much, will keep
    thank you so much, will keep you in my prayers, all of you. i havent been back to work yet my family feels and at times i feel i should wait a little bit just to try to get situated with my new life. should i go back to work? sometimes i dont know what to do with my life since the course it was taken i can no longer take. it scares me to say it and to feel it but i feel lost. sometimes i dont feel like my old self, when i look in the mirror sometimes i no longer see myself. my husband tells me its because i dont have hair but i tell him i can see past that and i am no longer the person i was before this journey. am i wrong for feeling this way? thank you so much for listening to me...

    hugs
    evelin

    working....
    I think everyone is different but I went back to work as soon as my recovery from surgery would allow it. I am currently getting chemo and have just finished round three (uterine). As much as I've always envisioned myself a stay at home, bon bon eating girl, I have to say that work made me feel normal again. When I go to work, I forget about cancer.

    Good luck in whatever you decide.
    Cindy
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    CindyGSD said:

    working....
    I think everyone is different but I went back to work as soon as my recovery from surgery would allow it. I am currently getting chemo and have just finished round three (uterine). As much as I've always envisioned myself a stay at home, bon bon eating girl, I have to say that work made me feel normal again. When I go to work, I forget about cancer.

    Good luck in whatever you decide.
    Cindy

    time to fight like a girl
    and put on your big girl teal panties. I know how you feel and believe me,I felt the same. I did go to work part-time and it helped me feel good about myself. I got tired easy but I just paced myself. I know lookong in the mirror is hard,,,they have a program called feel good ,look good.from the American cancer sociey and it is free, you even get a free wig. So try to cheer up and enjoy being ned. stay strong...val
  • Radioactive34
    Radioactive34 Member Posts: 391 Member
    eyalvarez said:

    thank you so much, will keep
    thank you so much, will keep you in my prayers, all of you. i havent been back to work yet my family feels and at times i feel i should wait a little bit just to try to get situated with my new life. should i go back to work? sometimes i dont know what to do with my life since the course it was taken i can no longer take. it scares me to say it and to feel it but i feel lost. sometimes i dont feel like my old self, when i look in the mirror sometimes i no longer see myself. my husband tells me its because i dont have hair but i tell him i can see past that and i am no longer the person i was before this journey. am i wrong for feeling this way? thank you so much for listening to me...

    hugs
    evelin

    With this diagnosis and with
    With this diagnosis and with what it takes from us...it is hard to find our identity under everything going on. The loss of being able to have kids is a hard blow. I had to have a hysterectomy too. As the ladies here tell me often...we have a new norm. It takes time to adjust.

    You are not the person that started this journey. You are someone stronger and the new norm somewhat redefines us. For me cancer helped me not to take for granted all the people in my life. It has reset my life clock. I take care of what needs to be done now....and realize that I really did not have all the time in the world to go to Europe or fufill whatever I really wanted to do. It has helped me learn to truly live.
  • carolyn45
    carolyn45 Member Posts: 100
    eyalvarez said:

    thank you so much, will keep
    thank you so much, will keep you in my prayers, all of you. i havent been back to work yet my family feels and at times i feel i should wait a little bit just to try to get situated with my new life. should i go back to work? sometimes i dont know what to do with my life since the course it was taken i can no longer take. it scares me to say it and to feel it but i feel lost. sometimes i dont feel like my old self, when i look in the mirror sometimes i no longer see myself. my husband tells me its because i dont have hair but i tell him i can see past that and i am no longer the person i was before this journey. am i wrong for feeling this way? thank you so much for listening to me...

    hugs
    evelin

    A new you is emerging.
    I like the phrase, "Only God can screw things up this badly." Indeed your old identity has pretty well vanished. You will never be the same person you were before the diagnosis. You are being called to a deeper level of being, a level that has its own very tangible rewards. It's scary to lose your "identity cards," and that's a lot more than hair. One "card" might be a sense of invulnerability. One would probably be the certainty that you can have children. Only you can figure out what key parts of yourself are gone--for a while or forever. There's a great deal of grief to process around that. But you can also start focussing on what IS there, 'cause believe me, you're HERE. You still have a husband and family who dearly love you, just as you are NOW. It's a huge shock to have cancer, especially at such a young age, but fighting this disease and living in remission will become normal in time. The shock is still fresh, but it will wear off, and you'll find a new sense of yourself. It will be bigger, more expansive, wiser, more loving, more clear about what really counts. All my blessings and prayers are with you on your journey. Carolyn
  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    eyalvarez said:

    thank you so much, will keep
    thank you so much, will keep you in my prayers, all of you. i havent been back to work yet my family feels and at times i feel i should wait a little bit just to try to get situated with my new life. should i go back to work? sometimes i dont know what to do with my life since the course it was taken i can no longer take. it scares me to say it and to feel it but i feel lost. sometimes i dont feel like my old self, when i look in the mirror sometimes i no longer see myself. my husband tells me its because i dont have hair but i tell him i can see past that and i am no longer the person i was before this journey. am i wrong for feeling this way? thank you so much for listening to me...

    hugs
    evelin

    Great advice
    Evelin,
    Everyone here has given such wise advice. You'd think they had all been through some life-changing experience, or something. One thing I would like you to know, you are never wrong for feeling any of the things you feel. You are perfect in every way, and your thoughts and feelings are part of you.
  • eyalvarez
    eyalvarez Member Posts: 8
    Tethys41 said:

    Great advice
    Evelin,
    Everyone here has given such wise advice. You'd think they had all been through some life-changing experience, or something. One thing I would like you to know, you are never wrong for feeling any of the things you feel. You are perfect in every way, and your thoughts and feelings are part of you.

    THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SUCH
    THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SUCH WISE AND CARING ADVISE. ALL OF YOUR ADVICE HAS PUT ME TO THINK, I AM A DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE BUT NOW I AM STRONGER MORE APPRECIATIVE AND I WANT TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST; NO REGRETS. EVERYTHING I HAVE GONE THROUGH HAS SHOWN ME WHO TRUELLY IS A FRIEND AND WHICH FAMILY MEMBERS REALLY WERE AND ARE CONCERN FOR MY WELL BEING.
  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    Welcome to the board. I
    Welcome to the board. I understand how you feel about not having kids. Too had a hysterectomy and at first I really couldn't deal with it. But I have learned you have to play with the cards you where dealt. There are many kids out there that need a good home. Hopefully you either have or will find a partner that will understand and be supportive. The good news is that your Doctors are being optimistic and that is good news. Please keep us posted.

    Joyce
  • cfont11
    cfont11 Member Posts: 115
    New
    Nice to meet you but sorry it is under these circumstances. When I was your age, my husband and I tried to have a family for 8 years. That was years ago when invitro was at the beginning stages and not paid for my insurance. We tried everything and even had an adoption fall through. I thought that was the worst thing I would ever go through until I was diagnosed with cancer last year. I know not being able to have children is one of the worst things for a woman to deal with, you feel like a failure. It was hard on my husband too. But we have been married 30 years now, have had a great life, have great families and friends and he has been my hero through this journey with cancer. It sounds like you have a great support system and they will help get you through all the tough times. So glad to h ear the doctors are optomistic and I'll keep you in my prayers. Best of luck with everything.

    Chris