Bad news from the hospital - mets

unclaw2002 said:

Lee,My dad was the patient,
Lee,

My dad was the patient, but I understand how news like this can take your mood away even though we all know that the cancer keeps on marching while we hope for some breaks that give us that precious time we all cherish. You and Chantel are such brave and strong people and have faced so many hurdles already. Some days it is so hard to explain to others why news like this hits us so hard, another day we might just say ok just another day --- but today wasn't just another day for you.

As a Stage IV patient we hope for time, pain control and the ability to have some quality of life while the monster attacks us. One thing that helped my family with some of these issues, the thought in the back of our minds that the cancer keeps on growing, was to have those "good days" plans. Things we loved doing together, trying to plan some fun escapes - even day trips or a ride to have a cup of coffee in his favorite coffee shop or a visit to the neighborhood book store. We even worked on some bucket list items, the outlandish the things we could never afford and some things we could do. We talked and spent time together. Now I know some folks just retreat from their loved ones, some get angry, some get depressed and sometimes everyone in the family feels all those things at the same time and sometimes everyone is feeling something different at the same time. This is such an emotional roller coaster.

But my dad did try hard to not let the cancer define him, not let it control him. And that is easier said than done when your days are filled with medications, doctor's appointments, and pain. When the cancer spread to his liver they gave him months to live --- he lived almost 12 months from that date. We had wonderful visits, holidays, anniversaries and made many wonderful memories. The picture in my profile is the family in New Orleans for the 2010 Christmas holiday and a special family meal at Commanders Palace.

I urge you to build those memories with Chantel and your family. Unfortunately, we know the ending to the story --- but we can pack years of living (a Sherri saying) into the time left to us because we have been given the ironic gift of knowing we don't have forever. Those memories help me deal with the loss of my father and most importantly I know that he knew how much we all loved him and we knew how much he loved us. Do I wish we had more time? Yes. But do I regret the last years of his life? No - we were thankful for every day we got.

Lots of hugs and prayers,
Cindy