Experiencing Changes (I am back!)

Hi dear everybody,

When I started going back to work, I had been treading waters big time. I found myself having to channel my energy - just to live by working, eating and visiting family. My father is grieving a lot due to losing his wife of 40 years so I have been watching him. I found myself just wanting not to think of cancer and escape into my own world of gratifications, i.e., watching my fav shows (HGTV, Periot mystery series and CNN), attending physical therapy sessions and reading. So that is why I had not been here for a while and want you all to know that I have not forgotten you!! Just that I am overwhelmed lately.

I deal with brief sudden huge headaches (like a vein throbbing or ache to my right eye) about 3 times a week - more or less. I notice that it happens if I am not drinking enough water or getting tired in the afternoon or not having enough sleep. Yes, I have problems sleeping. Funny that even tho after last chemo 8 months ago, I see the positive energy developing in me. For 2 years before my treatment, I was not feeling well that I forgot what it s like to be alert and in tune with what s going on - now I feel alert and GREAT - in the past, I could tell when I start to become tired but now I keep going feeling good and then - wham!! - headaches and once a while feeling really depressed. So it is like I don't know where I am going and how I should manage my energy - it s crazy. Another symptom popped up, my right armpit where one lymph node was removed for biopsy to diagnose Hodgkins - is mostly numb and the upper part of my right breast gets sore often. I wonder if it is the Mediport scar that was removed last Feb. Does anyone experience this? How should I make it less sore?

Also another change is hot flashes. Gyn suggested I can stop taking Estrodiol if I want to. So I did. Now I feel hot/chills, drying skin, and once a while nerve pain in certain spots, anxiety and sleepless nights - think I will go back to taking the hormone pill....

My dear daughter after hearing an inspiring lecture about trying out something new for 30 days and then something else new for the next 30 days and so on, suggested she herself, my hubby and I go on a vegetarian diet for 30 days so we did! Yesterday was the last day of being a vegetarian. Holy Mackerel! Interesting and challenging and fun so hmm, I don't know if it has + or - effects on me (except that it is good to be regular, LOL). I will see in the next few weeks how I fare with my old diet...

With work, it is hard for me getting up in the morning and move fast to get ready for work but once at work, I am ok but in the afternoon, I feel different sometimes such as neck and back aches but do feel good when not feeling the aches. I feel like being Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! I try hard not to say much about my aches to my dear hubby who is exhausted from his demanding job and being a dedicated caregiver. My daughter said she also hates hearing about them. So there have been times when I feel alone without realizing that. That is why I am back here, grins. I would love to hear how you experience some of the stuff that I am experiencing.

Wishing you peace and positive thoughts,
Liz