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Boyfriend is having a surgery today

Posts: 9
Joined: Sep 2011

My boyfriend is having a surgery today. He has a 2.3cm and another smaller one in his kidney. They have been there for at least 7 years, and started growing recently. The Dr said there is 80% chance that he has the cancer, but nothing will be sure until the report comes out. Due to some arrangement, and current situation, I am not the one who will be with him during the process. His parents and ex will be there. And I won't even be the one who will take care of him. I think the surgery will be done by now, but I won't be able to get any information maybe until he can call me. I tried my best to gather all the information from web, and prepare stuff for him in case he need for the recovery. Aside form that, I feel I am useless. Usually what will happen after the surgery? will he be sent to ICU or just recovery room? If I call the hospital, will they tell you his condition? I am so worried about him, and wish I was there next to him.

icemantoo's picture
Posts: 3328
Joined: Jan 2010

Dear Barbarei,

Sorry I can not undue this family maze. Sounds like he should have no problems. He probably will not be too talkative for at least a day. As for the 80% chance of Cancer as I replied to your earlier post that goes with the territory as most tumors over 1cm do turn out to be cancer and as far as tumors under 4 cm he shou;d make a complete recovery with or without the C word. With all of the HIPPA stuff the hospital probably can not release info to you unless he authorizes it.

Best wishes,


Posts: 9
Joined: Sep 2011

Thanks for all the information. I guess all I can do now is wait and pray.

donna_lee's picture
Posts: 1001
Joined: Feb 2009

First is ICU. They monitor everything. Pain, fluid I/O, BP. They'll take very good care of him. Depending upon the time he gets into ICU, they'll allow him to sip fluids as tolerated and get him out of bed to sit for as long as he can tolerate it.
After all the readings start to get more normal, he'll be transferred to a nursing unit. And each hospital is a little different. The first surgery I had, I was in a 2 bed room. The following year, they had opened a remodeled ward and all "Renal, Bariatric, and Other" (in other words, abdominal post care) were in single-bed rooms.

And, No, those who call will not be given information. This is all part of the HIPPA (Health Information Privacy and Portability Act) regulations. If the unit feels he is alert or able to accept calls, the ward desk may be able to transfer your call to ring directly at his bedside phone. But he will have all sorts of tubes in and out and may not be able to reach the phone. If he has a cell phone, whoever is there to help him (family or ex) would have to make sure it is on his tray once he is brought to the nursing unit, and make sure the phone is plugged in daily to charge

Count on 4-5 days in the hospital, not counting surgery day. He will have to be able to have bowel sounds (anesthesia puts everything to sleep; no solid food till there are bowel sounds, get up and walk -as often as he can; eat and drink by himself; begin hygiene care for self; and after the catheter is removed, be able to go to the bathroom by himself-or at least with walking assistance to get there. All the tubes will come out in order -abdominal drain tube, catheter, pain (epidural if it is used), and last the central line (IV).

I can see where there are some power struggles involved; but if you can talk to him, it would be important for you to be there when he is discharged. The discharge nurse will have instructions for his post care, and it would help you and him be able to meet his needs once he is home.

His appetite won't be as it used to be. Have things like chicken-noodle soup, Ensure or Boost meal supplements, Muscle Milk, Fruit juices and other easy to digest foods that aren't gassy or bloating. Ice Cream or Sherbet, tea/coffee in moderation OK. Carbonated drinks produce gas -bubbles in/bubbles out.

Best wishes as you enter his new world. Depending on the length of the surgical incision, or if his is a laparoscopic procedure, he may need an arm to lean on when he gets up to walk or go to the bathroom the first few days. A shower stool is a great help so he can just sit in the warm rain. I didn't have one the first year, so used a kitchen step ladder -not the most comfortable, but easier than having to stand.

Wish him well and take care of yourself, too.

Posts: 9
Joined: Sep 2011

Thanks Donna for all those useful information. I think there is not much I can do at this point except waiting for his call. This board really gives me a lot of help. When I feel lonely and helpless, I came here to read and look for help. And everyone is so nice and you all helped me walk through the tough days. Best wishes to all of you.

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