Upcoming mastectomy
I'm having a double mastectomy on 9-15 and it seems the closer the surgery date the more anxious I get, having trouble sleeping, grouchy with everyone, having a hard time keeping everything on an even keel for the kids (6 & 9); guess I'm just not ready to say goodbye to my girls yet. I know most of you have already gone through this already. Do you have any advice, wisdom to share?
Comments
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Gee I dont know why you
Gee I dont know why you would be feeling all those things. Are you having reconstruction? If so that will help. the surgery itself is doable, not to much pain. the thing I hated the most was the drains. Everyone feels differently about the girls. I tried to be logical about it and say that it was an expendable part that I needed to part with to live for my kids. Sometimes I have dreams about it, but its a relief to know I have done everything i was supposed to do. HUGS Life after mastectomy is different but fine. I am sure other more articulate people will post. Just so you know you will be ok!!! and life can be good!!!0 -
Don't be afraid to ask for drugs, LOL!
I went through a lot of anxiety between biopsy and surgery. My primary care doc finally just looked at me, asked me if I was eating and sleeping, and when I said no he just started writing a script. I was never a fan of drugs but have given myself a pass and have taken the Xanax whenever I have needed to, I will evaluate all of that when I am farther out of treatment and have had more clean scans. Of course you are upset, for heaven's sake you have young children! This is scary for everybody.
Don't be a hero, do what you need to to make this all better for yourself and your family.
Give yourself a break, this is a tough time and it sounds like you are doing as well as anybody can.
Keep us posted,
Jennifer0 -
All normal feelings, Anytime
All normal feelings, Anytime anyone looses a part of themselves it is hard. I had right side mastectomy, Surgery wasn't bad not much pain. Its them drains that are a bother. I had mine for 5 weeks. Removing them didn't hurt at all though. If I had it to do over I would have had both removed. I'm not having reconstruction. I am older and it just don't' matter to me. I am glad I did it and would do it again. I did build it up in my mind before surgery to be worse then it was. Take a deep breath and try to relax, you will get through it. We will all be here to help with anything you need.
Take care and take it easy. Kay,0 -
The unknown is always worse
The unknown is always worse than the is. I had a bilateral mastectomy in march. It wasn't bad. Follow the instructions from the surgeon and you should be fine. Move anything you may need to get to below shoulder level.
As far as the removing the breasts, they served their function feeding my 2 daughters, then they were a liability. I did not do recon yet. I am still thinking about it. I was never large breasted anyway so there isn't much to miss. (I didn't loose even a pound with surgery!)
If you go with recon, shop around if you can. There is a big difference with plastic surgeons. This is part of you and will be for a very, very long time.
All the best,
Cindy0 -
Just my two cents ....mamolady said:The unknown is always worse
The unknown is always worse than the is. I had a bilateral mastectomy in march. It wasn't bad. Follow the instructions from the surgeon and you should be fine. Move anything you may need to get to below shoulder level.
As far as the removing the breasts, they served their function feeding my 2 daughters, then they were a liability. I did not do recon yet. I am still thinking about it. I was never large breasted anyway so there isn't much to miss. (I didn't loose even a pound with surgery!)
If you go with recon, shop around if you can. There is a big difference with plastic surgeons. This is part of you and will be for a very, very long time.
All the best,
Cindy
take pain medication when necessary. Multiple pillows in various, sizes help with sleeping on your back.
Please have cups, saucers, plates at arm level - as well as re-arranging your fridge for more commonly used items at arm levels. Tide/Downy small container sizes - also at arm level. Reaching up and grabbing heavy items -- will tear your stitches, as well as hurt your arms. Muscles and tissue in breast, as well as arm areas will be cut,moved and sewn back together.
Please have your Plastic Surgeon give you specific instructions regarding your drains -- measuring and milking of tubes/lines.
I tried to take a bath ..but hence could not pull myself out of the our spa tub, no muscles or strength in my arms after bilateral mastectomy.. It took my husband, and daughter some time to pull me out of the tub == without hurting me. Not a pretty time, or sight to say the least. So I opted to shower ...My husband removed our shower head, and replaced it with a flex hose type so I could shower maneuvering the flex hose from waist down, as well as place shower water under my arms.
Lastly, please make sure you do your exercises as prescribed by Plastic Surgeon, and Physical Therapist.
Strength, Courage, Hope and Speedy recovery.
Vicki Sam0 -
Welcome, sunshine.dance. I
Welcome, sunshine.dance. I couldn't have guessed it, but it's been 3 1/2 years since my bilateral surgery and to tell you the truth, I don't remember very much about it. I do remember the drains though. Some people have mentioned getting special camisoles with pockets to hold them. I just pinned them to my husband's tshirts that I wore post surgery. As others have said, don't be afraid to ask for Xanax to take the edge off the anxiety. You will be fine! xoxoxoxo Lynn0 -
Legs get me out of tub - not armsVickiSam said:Just my two cents ....
take pain medication when necessary. Multiple pillows in various, sizes help with sleeping on your back.
Please have cups, saucers, plates at arm level - as well as re-arranging your fridge for more commonly used items at arm levels. Tide/Downy small container sizes - also at arm level. Reaching up and grabbing heavy items -- will tear your stitches, as well as hurt your arms. Muscles and tissue in breast, as well as arm areas will be cut,moved and sewn back together.
Please have your Plastic Surgeon give you specific instructions regarding your drains -- measuring and milking of tubes/lines.
I tried to take a bath ..but hence could not pull myself out of the our spa tub, no muscles or strength in my arms after bilateral mastectomy.. It took my husband, and daughter some time to pull me out of the tub == without hurting me. Not a pretty time, or sight to say the least. So I opted to shower ...My husband removed our shower head, and replaced it with a flex hose type so I could shower maneuvering the flex hose from waist down, as well as place shower water under my arms.
Lastly, please make sure you do your exercises as prescribed by Plastic Surgeon, and Physical Therapist.
Strength, Courage, Hope and Speedy recovery.
Vicki Sam
I didn't have any trouble getting out of the tub but then I've never used my arms to pull out of it but rather my legs to push up and out of it. I just roll onto hip, knees under and then just use legs (by far the strongest part of my body) to lift me up.
Isn't it amazing how many 'things' we each do differently and never think about there being another way of doing it?
Susan0 -
Anxious to get it over
I was anxious but not in the way it sounds like you are - I didn't want to have to wait even the 2 weeks between the end of A/C and surgery - I wanted it done NOW - get the Monster as gone as possible. I'd have been happy to have gone straight from my last A/C to the OR.
Remember that we are each unique in what our life experiences are, thus how we handle the good and the bad - there is no one "Right" or "Wrong".
As I said - I was anxious to get going on 'everything' but then time is of the esscence with IBC. I had hours between seeing my PA and having mmmo/sono/biopsies and the report the next morning. In the next 17 days I had many appts/scans/port installed/started A/C. 2 weeks after last A/C had Rt. Mod. Rad. Mast., 3 weeks later started 12 weekly Taxol and a week later started Rads. Yes I was anxious but only to get it going so I could win the battle and at yrs post DX - it seems that I am winning.
I believe that each life is a journey - our unique journey is designed for each of us to learn and grow - some times it's hard but often from the hard times comes the most growth and understanding if we seek that knowledge out. Not saying that it's easy or that the road isn't rocky and filled with perils but it is our journey.
Susan0 -
The build up
For me the build up to the surgery was the worst. I was worried, frightened, and generally freaked out. I think everything you are feeling is normal. What you are going through now is hard. There was some relief for me after my surgery. At least it is over and done with. Now I just had to start to pick up the pieces. Follow your doctor's instructions and all the advice the ladies here have given you. You will surprise yourself at how fast you will bounce back. Just try not to be too hard on yourself. You are human.
Good Luck,
Best,
Clementine0 -
I am sending you lots ofmamolady said:The unknown is always worse
The unknown is always worse than the is. I had a bilateral mastectomy in march. It wasn't bad. Follow the instructions from the surgeon and you should be fine. Move anything you may need to get to below shoulder level.
As far as the removing the breasts, they served their function feeding my 2 daughters, then they were a liability. I did not do recon yet. I am still thinking about it. I was never large breasted anyway so there isn't much to miss. (I didn't loose even a pound with surgery!)
If you go with recon, shop around if you can. There is a big difference with plastic surgeons. This is part of you and will be for a very, very long time.
All the best,
Cindy
I am sending you lots of hugs, good luck and praying for you!
Sue
0 -
I had a lumpectomy withmamolady said:The unknown is always worse
The unknown is always worse than the is. I had a bilateral mastectomy in march. It wasn't bad. Follow the instructions from the surgeon and you should be fine. Move anything you may need to get to below shoulder level.
As far as the removing the breasts, they served their function feeding my 2 daughters, then they were a liability. I did not do recon yet. I am still thinking about it. I was never large breasted anyway so there isn't much to miss. (I didn't loose even a pound with surgery!)
If you go with recon, shop around if you can. There is a big difference with plastic surgeons. This is part of you and will be for a very, very long time.
All the best,
Cindy
I had a lumpectomy with rads. But, I want to wish you good luck with your upcoming surgery.
Hugs, Angie0 -
Sending positive thoughtsRague said:Anxious to get it over
I was anxious but not in the way it sounds like you are - I didn't want to have to wait even the 2 weeks between the end of A/C and surgery - I wanted it done NOW - get the Monster as gone as possible. I'd have been happy to have gone straight from my last A/C to the OR.
Remember that we are each unique in what our life experiences are, thus how we handle the good and the bad - there is no one "Right" or "Wrong".
As I said - I was anxious to get going on 'everything' but then time is of the esscence with IBC. I had hours between seeing my PA and having mmmo/sono/biopsies and the report the next morning. In the next 17 days I had many appts/scans/port installed/started A/C. 2 weeks after last A/C had Rt. Mod. Rad. Mast., 3 weeks later started 12 weekly Taxol and a week later started Rads. Yes I was anxious but only to get it going so I could win the battle and at yrs post DX - it seems that I am winning.
I believe that each life is a journey - our unique journey is designed for each of us to learn and grow - some times it's hard but often from the hard times comes the most growth and understanding if we seek that knowledge out. Not saying that it's easy or that the road isn't rocky and filled with perils but it is our journey.
Susan
Sending positive thoughts and prayers!
Hugs, Jan0 -
I will be sending you lotsClementine_P said:The build up
For me the build up to the surgery was the worst. I was worried, frightened, and generally freaked out. I think everything you are feeling is normal. What you are going through now is hard. There was some relief for me after my surgery. At least it is over and done with. Now I just had to start to pick up the pieces. Follow your doctor's instructions and all the advice the ladies here have given you. You will surprise yourself at how fast you will bounce back. Just try not to be too hard on yourself. You are human.
Good Luck,
Best,
Clementine
I will be sending you lots of good luck, support and big gentle hugs for your surgery!
Hugs, Megan0 -
It's understandable that yousmalldoggroomer said:All normal feelings, Anytime
All normal feelings, Anytime anyone looses a part of themselves it is hard. I had right side mastectomy, Surgery wasn't bad not much pain. Its them drains that are a bother. I had mine for 5 weeks. Removing them didn't hurt at all though. If I had it to do over I would have had both removed. I'm not having reconstruction. I am older and it just don't' matter to me. I am glad I did it and would do it again. I did build it up in my mind before surgery to be worse then it was. Take a deep breath and try to relax, you will get through it. We will all be here to help with anything you need.
Take care and take it easy. Kay,
It's understandable that you would be going thru these emotions. We can all relate to how you feel. It is very normal and natural.
I am sending lots of prayers and hugs to you. Keep us updated as we all love and care about you.
Hugs, Debby0 -
I wish I had some words ofMegan M said:I will be sending you lots
I will be sending you lots of good luck, support and big gentle hugs for your surgery!
Hugs, Megan
I wish I had some words of wisdom. All I do know is that you have the love, support and prayers from all of the pink sisters on this board and that is a lot!
♠♣ Love, Susie ♠♣0 -
Hi Sunshine
You are going to
Hi Sunshine
You are going to have surgery and part of your body removed. Of course you are scared and stressed. I had a double mastectomy over 1 year ago and before surgery I was apprehensive but I was looking foward to getting this cancer out of me but I was nervous. It's a long surgery and I never had surgery other than childbirth alot of years before! It wasn't bad at all, although the drains are annoying. I didn't have reconstuction. Good luck to you. I bet you'll do real good.
Annette0 -
I had a double no
I had a double no reconstruction, and here's my advice...
Have shirts/blouses/pajamas that can button or zip up the front. It will be difficult for a while to lift your arms over your head. Things that are on high shelves should be moved down to a level you can easily reach, between your shoulders and knees is a good measurement.
It was easier for me to sleep reclined rather than flat on my back. I used a wedge pillow, others have slept in recliners. I also used smaller pillows to position my arms more comfortably.
Take your pain meds proactively...don't wait for it to get 'really bad' before taking one. And remember, it will take a while to work through your system and get to the pain.
In the hospital, the nurse escorted me to the toilet. I was feeling a little wobbly in my legs. So I reached for the rail next on the wall to steady myself as I sat down...DON'T DO THAT!! It was the most excruciating pain ever...I ended up staying in the hospital an extra night just so we could get that pain under control.
Do talk to your doc about what kind of exercises you can do after surgery, and when to start them. Proper exercise will help you get mobility back in your arms. Do talk with your doc about lymphedema, it is a risk and you should know what to look for.
I hope this helps, and may your surgery go as expected and your recovery be swift and smooth.
Hugs,
Linda0 -
Drugs
If you temporarily need the help of anti anxiety drugs do not take this as a weakness in you. A major disease just threatened your life. If you are skittish about using the drug ask for a month's supply and reassaess later. You need to get as much rest as possible to have a positive outcome from your surgury.
By the way you will NOT be saying goodbye to your children yet.0 -
Positive thoughts andGabe N Abby Mom said:I had a double no
I had a double no reconstruction, and here's my advice...
Have shirts/blouses/pajamas that can button or zip up the front. It will be difficult for a while to lift your arms over your head. Things that are on high shelves should be moved down to a level you can easily reach, between your shoulders and knees is a good measurement.
It was easier for me to sleep reclined rather than flat on my back. I used a wedge pillow, others have slept in recliners. I also used smaller pillows to position my arms more comfortably.
Take your pain meds proactively...don't wait for it to get 'really bad' before taking one. And remember, it will take a while to work through your system and get to the pain.
In the hospital, the nurse escorted me to the toilet. I was feeling a little wobbly in my legs. So I reached for the rail next on the wall to steady myself as I sat down...DON'T DO THAT!! It was the most excruciating pain ever...I ended up staying in the hospital an extra night just so we could get that pain under control.
Do talk to your doc about what kind of exercises you can do after surgery, and when to start them. Proper exercise will help you get mobility back in your arms. Do talk with your doc about lymphedema, it is a risk and you should know what to look for.
I hope this helps, and may your surgery go as expected and your recovery be swift and smooth.
Hugs,
Linda
Positive thoughts and prayers for your surgery.
Hugs, Lex0
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