Wow didn't see this coming......proof of how uniformed people can be.....

Options
stayingstrongfortoday
stayingstrongfortoday Member Posts: 116
in Breast Cancer #1
Ok if you have followed me at all I have been a big whiner about going on short term disability. It's been humbling to realize I can't work full time this school year and that I really do need to take some time off to just deal with my life, family and resting. I worked a half day today and had five people stop me to tell me how "tired" I look....well yeah duh I am tired. I am anemic it's part of the reason I am taking the time off....BUT THEN I heard our principal told some staff members I am taking the leave to enter HOSPICE!! What the heck? I have never even had a hospice discusion with anyone....why would she say that. Talk about a head game, completely freaked and ticked me off to hear such a thing. I am letting my frustration out here and I am not confronting her about it (she'll deny it anyway)but do people just get caught up in their own word vomit that they can't stop themselves from spreading gossip. No wonder everyone looks at me like a sad puppy. So annoying. I have been fighting 3 years, sure it's serious but like I said not hospice serious. People never cease to amaze me.

Comments

  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #2
    Options
    I think that you should let
    I think that you should let the people that you know she told that you are not entering hospice and that you would appreciate them letting anyone else that should hear this ugly rumor know that it is totally incorrect. That way you can set the rumor mill straight and you don't have to confort your principal. You don't even have to tell them that you know who told them that. I would just approach them with a "I heard that someone may have told you in error that I am taking this leave to enter Hospice." And then say just what you said at the end of your post about fighting this for three years and it is serious but not hospice serious. By doing that you will stop getting the sad puppy looks and you will let your co workers know that you are not end stage. It will also keep your principal from spreading this "news" to everyone she comes in contact with.
    It's enough to deal with the disease and all its side effects but this side effect you can control. Even if you were going into hospice it is not her place to tell people. What a stupid B***h. And I rarely use this type of description but for someone who is in a profession that requires education and intelligence she is sadly lacking in both. Not to mention care, compassion or consideration.
    Oh, now I am venting.
    Hoping that the time off will allow you gather your strength and deal with the important issues, your health, your family etc. Prayers and a big hug coming your way.
    Stef
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    #3
    Options
    Same thing here
    Same thing here and it is very very upsetting.I was traumatized about it.I do volunteer work and have for 11 years.I decided to let a younger person take over.I was having some kidney tests and husband having tests on is legs.Well the new lady didn't work out.She asked me to take it back.I did.After talking to people I was told they heard I wasn't well and why I gave the work up.Not so.I said I did it a long time.Younger ones should take it over.Then the tables were turned around.I'm not well according to the new volunteer.

    This is what we deal with.It is so heartening to think rumors get started.Once we are dx with this beast it will be lingering with us forever.Just last week I had a biopsy that was benign but everyone said keep me informed.I realized they were expecting the worst. I think from now on it will be just me and my husband who knows till I find out the outcome.

    As you said "People never cease to amaze me".I did finally confront the lady who said this.She said "All I did was say you have medical problems and it needs to be your priority".BUT the problem everyone was coming up and hugging me and saying "I have been sooooooo worried about you.I wondered how you were. I heard you weren't doing good.They knew I had breast cancer and thought it was back.

    I feel so bad that this happened to you.It is stressful.We don't need people to add salt to our wounds.We're hurting enough.You are in my thoughts and prayers. You will conquer this beast.

    Lynn Smith
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #4
    Options
    Stupid People...
    Say stupid things!..actually if you can get past the anger of their idiotic gossip, it's funny....taking a "leave of absence to enter hospice?". ....your anger is perfectly justified......But I would think common sense would kick in with those who are giving you the "sympathy look".....they obviously are clueless....people going into hospice aren't at their job....duh!

    Vent away ...we're listening...
    Hugs, Nancy
  • cinnamonsmile
    cinnamonsmile Member Posts: 1,187 Member
    #5
    Options
    Your principal is totally in
    Your principal is totally in the wrong for saying ANYTHING regarding your treatment status to begin with!! And utterly assanine,wrong,stupid (add more words) and UNPROFESSIONAL.I do think according to HIPPA, what she did is illegal also. You are probably right in ignoring her stupidity. People like that have no common sense or decency and might use it against you anyway seeing how petty she is. I hope you can just belly breathe relax and keep your head where it needs to be and not let such negativity in. We all know it is so much easier to say than do, but I am wishing you peace and serenity...
  • stayingstrongfortoday
    stayingstrongfortoday Member Posts: 116
    #6
    Options
    cinnamonsmile said:

    Your principal is totally in
    Your principal is totally in the wrong for saying ANYTHING regarding your treatment status to begin with!! And utterly assanine,wrong,stupid (add more words) and UNPROFESSIONAL.I do think according to HIPPA, what she did is illegal also. You are probably right in ignoring her stupidity. People like that have no common sense or decency and might use it against you anyway seeing how petty she is. I hope you can just belly breathe relax and keep your head where it needs to be and not let such negativity in. We all know it is so much easier to say than do, but I am wishing you peace and serenity...

    oh yes
    very unprofessional...it's the norm. But it gave me and a few other friends quite a laugh. It also put the whole taking time off in perspective. I'm NOT going to hospice (that I know of) so I need to enjoy these days off and do what I can and focus on getting better! thanks for letting me vent.
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #7
    Options
    Probably a good thing that you are going out for a while.
    She really has no right to discuss your medical condition with anyone. Much less to make assumptions. Clearly, she has no idea of what hospice is or when you would get involved. I am sure your friends will set everyone straight!

    Now you will be able to take this time and take care of you and your family. Enjoy your time and the best to you!
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    #8
    Options
    camul said:

    Probably a good thing that you are going out for a while.
    She really has no right to discuss your medical condition with anyone. Much less to make assumptions. Clearly, she has no idea of what hospice is or when you would get involved. I am sure your friends will set everyone straight!

    Now you will be able to take this time and take care of you and your family. Enjoy your time and the best to you!

    All I can do is sit here and
    All I can do is sit here and shake my head. Unbelievable...

    Hugs,
    Lorrie
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #9
    Options
    butterflylvr said:

    All I can do is sit here and
    All I can do is sit here and shake my head. Unbelievable...

    Hugs,
    Lorrie

    illegal
    She suppose to protect your privacy rights it is illegal what she has been doing - disclosing your diagnosis and discussing your health conditions with staff members. I think you should report to your district HR and legal counsel. Being your supervisor she has access to your medical history, but it is a serious violation to discuss your medical or leave of absence request (short term disability ) with antibody. To me" you are entitled to take medical leave" - end of story and it does not matter how and where you are going to spend your time. You are the only one who have rights to discuss your own situation with colleagues.
    Hugs
    New Flower
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #10
    Options
    New Flower said:

    illegal
    She suppose to protect your privacy rights it is illegal what she has been doing - disclosing your diagnosis and discussing your health conditions with staff members. I think you should report to your district HR and legal counsel. Being your supervisor she has access to your medical history, but it is a serious violation to discuss your medical or leave of absence request (short term disability ) with antibody. To me" you are entitled to take medical leave" - end of story and it does not matter how and where you are going to spend your time. You are the only one who have rights to discuss your own situation with colleagues.
    Hugs
    New Flower

    Good grief!
    Not only is that unprofessional - it's illegal. She has no right to discuss anything about your health - in fact, she doesn't even have the right to know what's wrong with you, only that a physician is certifying that you're unable to work. For the sake of others, if not for you, I think you should report this to HR so your principal can at least be counseled. How dare she say anything to anyone about your health! Geez!

    Suzanne
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #11
    Options
    There is a discussion post
    There is a discussion post in the colorectal section about the dumb things people say. This is a dandy. I have found one of my challenges to be my lack of privacy since getting this disease. I don't like to share much because of it. I share more with these discussion boards. Ironic that I am posting for the world but not talking to my family. I think you need to share with your co-workers the truth. Your principal is controlling the information now and you need to change that. Make your communique light and add humor. This way you set the record straight without appearing angry. I work with lots of teachers. Most would have problems taking advantage of time off. Don't be one of them and feel like you must be suffering to justify the disability leave. Try to do things you enjoy. Lisa
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    #12
    Options
    buckeye2 said:

    There is a discussion post
    There is a discussion post in the colorectal section about the dumb things people say. This is a dandy. I have found one of my challenges to be my lack of privacy since getting this disease. I don't like to share much because of it. I share more with these discussion boards. Ironic that I am posting for the world but not talking to my family. I think you need to share with your co-workers the truth. Your principal is controlling the information now and you need to change that. Make your communique light and add humor. This way you set the record straight without appearing angry. I work with lots of teachers. Most would have problems taking advantage of time off. Don't be one of them and feel like you must be suffering to justify the disability leave. Try to do things you enjoy. Lisa

    Amazing
    What the principal did is against the HIPPA law--she is not allowed to disclose any medical information to anyone-and you have a good case against her and the school system. You have the right to disclose what you want to those around you that you work with and no one else has that right.

    You have the choice to set the record straight to those who were told by her but then how do you know who those people told-which is also against HIPPA--so now you have the whole school involved OR say and do nothing. My choice and this is my opinion only is I would contact a law firm that does free consults and see where it takes you.

    Best of luck.
    Margo
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #13
    Options
    tommaseena said:

    Amazing
    What the principal did is against the HIPPA law--she is not allowed to disclose any medical information to anyone-and you have a good case against her and the school system. You have the right to disclose what you want to those around you that you work with and no one else has that right.

    You have the choice to set the record straight to those who were told by her but then how do you know who those people told-which is also against HIPPA--so now you have the whole school involved OR say and do nothing. My choice and this is my opinion only is I would contact a law firm that does free consults and see where it takes you.

    Best of luck.
    Margo

    I agree with all the girls
    I am outraged. Sometimes we are told to "overlook" stupid comments because people just don't know what to say or don't know any better. These people you are dealing with are educated, informed individuals. They may not know everything about our disease, but they certainly should know the difference being saying something totally stupid or using courtesy, discretion and privacy.

    In the end, you will deal with this in your own way. I just had to voice my opinion--I'm really mad!

    Hugs, Renee
  • stayingstrongfortoday
    stayingstrongfortoday Member Posts: 116
    #14
    Options
    missrenee said:

    I agree with all the girls
    I am outraged. Sometimes we are told to "overlook" stupid comments because people just don't know what to say or don't know any better. These people you are dealing with are educated, informed individuals. They may not know everything about our disease, but they certainly should know the difference being saying something totally stupid or using courtesy, discretion and privacy.

    In the end, you will deal with this in your own way. I just had to voice my opinion--I'm really mad!

    Hugs, Renee

    I sent an email
    To the whole staff. Explained I was still fighting and the fight was causing me to be anemic. Because the district would not work with me to work half days that I was going to go off work full time for awhile but I would return. I kept it short and sweet and explained I needed prayers and good thoughts (didn't want a ton of food offers). I figured that saying I am anemic might stop the "oh my gawd you look SOOOOO tired" so sick of hearing that one too!! It's just a fact people are idiots.
  • stayingstrongfortoday
    stayingstrongfortoday Member Posts: 116
    #15
    Options
    missrenee said:

    I agree with all the girls
    I am outraged. Sometimes we are told to "overlook" stupid comments because people just don't know what to say or don't know any better. These people you are dealing with are educated, informed individuals. They may not know everything about our disease, but they certainly should know the difference being saying something totally stupid or using courtesy, discretion and privacy.

    In the end, you will deal with this in your own way. I just had to voice my opinion--I'm really mad!

    Hugs, Renee

    I sent an email
    To the whole staff. Explained I was still fighting and the fight was causing me to be anemic. Because the district would not work with me to work half days that I was going to go off work full time for awhile but I would return. I kept it short and sweet and explained I needed prayers and good thoughts (didn't want a ton of food offers). I figured that saying I am anemic might stop the "oh my gawd you look SOOOOO tired" so sick of hearing that one too!! It's just a fact people are idiots.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #16
    Options
    wow...that is
    wow...that is terrible...sorry you are going through this
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #17
    Options
    wow...that is
    wow...that is terrible...sorry you are going through this
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #18
    Options
    stayingstrongfortoday said:

    I sent an email
    To the whole staff. Explained I was still fighting and the fight was causing me to be anemic. Because the district would not work with me to work half days that I was going to go off work full time for awhile but I would return. I kept it short and sweet and explained I needed prayers and good thoughts (didn't want a ton of food offers). I figured that saying I am anemic might stop the "oh my gawd you look SOOOOO tired" so sick of hearing that one too!! It's just a fact people are idiots.

    Excellent way to handle "IDIOTS"
    email generated, originated by you and no one else. You were clear and concise concerning your health, as well as showing your co-workers, friends and associates that your school district would not allow you to curtail your teaching position to part time status.

    Its been my personal experience to take control of any idiotic conversation, regarding me, or my breast cancer struggles. I decided what to share, or not. I had to corral my own Mother, several times.

    Strength, Courage and Hope.

    Vicki Sam

Discussion Boards