Its almost been a year

sunshine0406
sunshine0406 Member Posts: 65
in Breast Cancer #1
And what a year it has been. I was diagnosed the end of August 2010 and I feel like it was so long ago. my hair is growing back, I have my last herceptin the 2nd of Sept., I have my reconstructive surgery scheduled for the middle of Sept. and my life is starting to return to normal and I feel like I am not ready for it to go back to normal yet. Is that wrong? I feel like I should be craving "normal" but I just feel different and I don't know how to explain it. everyone says how well I'm doing and I don't see it: I am scared of a reoccurrence And to top it all off I am going to have to start homeschooling my kids (7 and almost 5) next week and I feel very over whelmed. I know I am not the only one who feels this way and I feel sorta weird putting it out here for the world to see. I would love to get together with others, I have a young woman support group I meet with but it is only once a month and they all are further along then I am and their kids are older (if they have kids) and I feel so alone. Thanks for listening.

Comments

  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #2
    Well what you are feeling is
    Well what you are feeling is quite normal. For a year you have had all of your Medical team around you. First all of the testing and then the treatment and this goes on for a whole year. It truly is a roller coaster ride. And when it comes to the end you feel left alone. When mine came to a end I felt like I was dropped like a hot potato. It can feel overwhelming. You have a beautiful family, your young it will come together for you. Is there any way you can find a group that is more your age? Or maybe one that meets more often. Maybe you can call your cancer center. We all need a little help once in a while. Do you have a family member or good friend you can talk to? Don't feel weird about posting here we all understand were you are coming from. And if there is anything we can do to help you got it. Take care darlin Kay,
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #3
    This is the best place in
    This is the best place in the world to put out your thoughts. I am still scared silly and my treatment was done in March. I can't imagine not feeling this way. Others on here say it gets better with time, and I pray that's the case. And on top of that, to homeschool your kids--I just can't even imagine the pressure...

    My prayers and hugs are coming your way,

    Judy
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #4
    This is the best place in
    This is the best place in the world to put out your thoughts. I am still scared silly and my treatment was done in March. I can't imagine not feeling this way. Others on here say it gets better with time, and I pray that's the case. And on top of that, to homeschool your kids--I just can't even imagine the pressure...

    My prayers and hugs are coming your way,

    Judy
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #5
    This is the best place in
    This is the best place in the world to put out your thoughts. I am still scared silly and my treatment was done in March. I can't imagine not feeling this way. Others on here say it gets better with time, and I pray that's the case. And on top of that, to homeschool your kids--I just can't even imagine the pressure...

    My prayers and hugs are coming your way,

    Judy
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #6
    This is the best place in
    This is the best place in the world to put out your thoughts. I am still scared silly and my treatment was done in March. I can't imagine not feeling this way. Others on here say it gets better with time, and I pray that's the case. And on top of that, to homeschool your kids--I just can't even imagine the pressure...

    My prayers and hugs are coming your way,

    Judy
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    #7
    Sunshine
    It is normal to feel as you do. It does get better with time, but that doesn't help right now. Is there anyone similar to you on the board? Private message her/them. Exchanging emails & phone numbers might be the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Also, where do you live? Someone might be close enough to meet.

    Take care,

    Sue
  • skipper54
    skipper54 Member Posts: 936 Member
    #8
    sbmly53 said:

    Sunshine
    It is normal to feel as you do. It does get better with time, but that doesn't help right now. Is there anyone similar to you on the board? Private message her/them. Exchanging emails & phone numbers might be the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Also, where do you live? Someone might be close enough to meet.

    Take care,

    Sue

    Someone told me it like post-partum depression
    You're so wrapped up in the fight and the treatment schedule and all of a sudden it's over and there you are wondering what to do now. It's an adjustment! And you never quite forget the possibilities no matter how hard you try, but it does fade into the background eventually.

    I'll echo that you can come here any time but let us know where you live, or a general idea, and maybe you're close to some else here that you can meet up and chat.
  • ccree
    ccree Member Posts: 1
    #9
    skipper54 said:

    Someone told me it like post-partum depression
    You're so wrapped up in the fight and the treatment schedule and all of a sudden it's over and there you are wondering what to do now. It's an adjustment! And you never quite forget the possibilities no matter how hard you try, but it does fade into the background eventually.

    I'll echo that you can come here any time but let us know where you live, or a general idea, and maybe you're close to some else here that you can meet up and chat.

    I feel what you are feeling
    My treatments ended in Jan. 2011 and I am just waiting to get to the point when I can go a day without thinking about cancer and praying it does not come back. My reconstruction was over 2 months ago and it failed. I was depressed at first, but I am just so glad to be alive!!
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #10
    ccree said:

    I feel what you are feeling
    My treatments ended in Jan. 2011 and I am just waiting to get to the point when I can go a day without thinking about cancer and praying it does not come back. My reconstruction was over 2 months ago and it failed. I was depressed at first, but I am just so glad to be alive!!

    I think so many summed our 'feelings' and isolation
    to the outside 'normal' world so well. We are inundated with new terms, surgeries, chemo, radiation, doctor appointments and fighting for our lives -- so when it time to get back into the main stream of life, it is a little daunting.

    I equate my journey ...to that of a prisoner released from 5 years behind bars -- unsure of what to do with ourselves, unsure of how the outside world will treat us, and unsure of how we will react to 'what' life throws in our direction.

    Take a deep breathe, make a list, and tackle 1 issue at a time. Just my humble suggestion ..
    You are Woman, You are Strong, and you have walked a journey many in our life time will never have to walk (Thank,God)..

    Strength, Courage and Hope.

    Vicki Sam

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