Well "the"call came in.....not good

Earlier I posted I was waiting for news from scans Friday. The nurse called and said the doctor wanted to see me this afternoon. I completely freaked out. I told her no they could tell me over the phone I had things to do and he needed to call me back.

He did.

Looks like my disease has advanced to liver and lungs. Holy ****. I just had a PET 3 months ago and nothing showed up. I hate this crap! I am still heading to the trial Wed. but my platletes are low so I probably won't qualify, he said if that is the case he will start me on weekly Taxol Friday (never had it). Why? Why? Why? Nothing has ever liked me as much as this cancer crap. I want to see my kids grow up. I want to hold my first grandchild. I am 41 years young I do not want to die like my dad did of cancer at age 44.

Have any of you had Taxol? He says it will work but is also hopeful the trial will still take me. I will fight the good fight but dang a break would be nice.

You've all walked the walk, give me some good stats....I need the encouragement.
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Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Stats? Stats are nothing but
    Stats? Stats are nothing but numbers, and don't count when OUR name is on them! Over a year ago I was dx with mets to my liver and the lining of my lung. Though I did not take Taxol, (I am estrogen positive and had responded well to Arimidex for 5 years, so my Dr put me on Tamoxifen) the liver now shows NO evidence of Disease, and the pleural effusion and BC cels on the lining of my lung is also responding well to the Tamox. I am going in for a PET scan tomorrow to see what is the cause of my "pesky" cough...perhaps I will be joining you on Taxol..who knows?

    I am sure other Kindreds will weigh in~ together we are strong and will hold each other up when the scares want to knock us down. ((((((((hugs))))))

    Chen♥
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    chenheart said:

    Stats? Stats are nothing but
    Stats? Stats are nothing but numbers, and don't count when OUR name is on them! Over a year ago I was dx with mets to my liver and the lining of my lung. Though I did not take Taxol, (I am estrogen positive and had responded well to Arimidex for 5 years, so my Dr put me on Tamoxifen) the liver now shows NO evidence of Disease, and the pleural effusion and BC cels on the lining of my lung is also responding well to the Tamox. I am going in for a PET scan tomorrow to see what is the cause of my "pesky" cough...perhaps I will be joining you on Taxol..who knows?

    I am sure other Kindreds will weigh in~ together we are strong and will hold each other up when the scares want to knock us down. ((((((((hugs))))))

    Chen♥

    I've never had any type of
    I've never had any type of chemo, but, I want you to know how very sorry I am that you got these results.


    You will be in my prayers.


    Sue :(
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    I am so sorry for the
    I am so sorry for the results - those "results" that make us panic and overlook the possibility of a miracle and the fact that we have the power to overcome anything, and the other fact that God has the last word. I so much dislike that process - the processing of the news. But then you take it all in, and something stronger takes over us: the power of survival, and to know that we can fight and recover. I hope these are your feelings right now as I am staying positive for you.

    I took taxol (4 rounds). I found it much easier than AC. You may/or may not experience some bone pains (for me it was very mild), and joint pain. No need to take nausea meds as this chemo doesn't make you sick (in most cases). I believe you can do this.

    Please stay positive no matter what they say. And no matter what you see.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    God bless you.
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member

    I am so sorry for the
    I am so sorry for the results - those "results" that make us panic and overlook the possibility of a miracle and the fact that we have the power to overcome anything, and the other fact that God has the last word. I so much dislike that process - the processing of the news. But then you take it all in, and something stronger takes over us: the power of survival, and to know that we can fight and recover. I hope these are your feelings right now as I am staying positive for you.

    I took taxol (4 rounds). I found it much easier than AC. You may/or may not experience some bone pains (for me it was very mild), and joint pain. No need to take nausea meds as this chemo doesn't make you sick (in most cases). I believe you can do this.

    Please stay positive no matter what they say. And no matter what you see.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    God bless you.

    Believe in miracles
    Believe in miracles like I do.I am having a biopsy soon. Waiting to hear back from the breast center.I am praying and will say a prayer for you. The lady that had been through what you are going through is doing fine. There is hope.Just fight with all your might.

    I didn't need chemo or radiation.Non invasive DCIS but now (just 2 years later) they want to do a biopsy.They think I have a cyst but have to be sure.I will even take a benign tumor if it isn't a cyst. Malignant is not what I am expecting.I have to be positive.

    I wish more than anything you see your kids and grandkids. I've seen on this board so many have battled this disease 3 and 4 times. They're still with us and will be for many more years.

    Lynn Smith
  • skipper54
    skipper54 Member Posts: 936 Member

    Believe in miracles
    Believe in miracles like I do.I am having a biopsy soon. Waiting to hear back from the breast center.I am praying and will say a prayer for you. The lady that had been through what you are going through is doing fine. There is hope.Just fight with all your might.

    I didn't need chemo or radiation.Non invasive DCIS but now (just 2 years later) they want to do a biopsy.They think I have a cyst but have to be sure.I will even take a benign tumor if it isn't a cyst. Malignant is not what I am expecting.I have to be positive.

    I wish more than anything you see your kids and grandkids. I've seen on this board so many have battled this disease 3 and 4 times. They're still with us and will be for many more years.

    Lynn Smith

    Sending prayers your way!
    I didn't have Taxol but did do Taaxotere. It's different from AC cocktails. Have faith! You can beat this and the pink sisters are here to help!
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    For some Taxol is easier
    For some Taxol is easier than A/C but for others of us it isn't. For me, Taxol was much worse than A/C. I did 12 weekly Taxol and was completely and utterly EXHAUSTED all the time, I didn't have any nausea or pain issues with it but didn't with A/C either. Many say it's much easier than A/C.

    "Stats" are something I don't pay any attention to - just a bunch of numbers that deal with others - NOT ME AND NOT YOU! Just numbers that someone compiled and then interputed. Years ago I took a course in "Stats" and learned that you can use/manipulate numbers in different ways to prove (or disprove) any 'point' you want to.

    Prayers!

    Susan
  • 1surfermom
    1surfermom Member Posts: 396 Member
    skipper54 said:

    Sending prayers your way!
    I didn't have Taxol but did do Taaxotere. It's different from AC cocktails. Have faith! You can beat this and the pink sisters are here to help!

    taxol
    First let me tell you how sorry I am that "the call" did not have the news you hoped to hear. I really hate this disease. I did have taxol for twelve weekly infusions and like LoveBabyJesus, I found it much more easier to tolerate than AC. I still needed the anti-nausea meds but I could at least function. Heres how it went for me. I would get my infusions on Wednesday and feel pretty good until about 4 P.M. on Friday on Friday the fatigue would hit me. I then would spend Saturday on the couch because even though I wanted to do things the fatigue and bone pain was just too strong. By Sunday I felt better and when Wednesday rolled around I felt great again( just in time for another chemo session). I hope and pray the next time you wait for a call about results the news you hear will be no evidence of disease (NED). From my experience NED is a great dance partner and is always looking for new folks to dance with. Stay positive. Love Surf
  • mamolady
    mamolady Member Posts: 796 Member
    taxol
    I am soooooooo sorry to hear about the mets. I wish I had words of wisdom or something more to offer about that. I only just finished my treatment. I haven't even had a follow up appt with my MO. I am sure there are success stories that will be posted here and that is just a small part of the successes there are out there.
    I had taxol for 12 weeks. It is way easier than Adriamiacin. Mostly just tired.
    You can do this! You will never be alone in this fight!
    Cindy
  • mollieb
    mollieb Member Posts: 148
    So Sorry --
    I am so sorry your news was not better. I just finished the 9th of 12 weekly Taxol treatments, following four every-three-weeks A/C treatments. Well, there was a 7-week break after the first two Taxol because I was hit by a car and needed a shoulder replacement, but who's counting?

    Taxol is much less toxic than A/C (Adriamycin/Cytoxan) but it has its own problems. Not everyone loses her hair -- mine had started to grow back during the break and I still have it, which is nice. Taxol causes severe allergic reactions in some people, and they don't wait to see if you are one of them. They pre-medicate with benedryl and steroids to prevent a catastrophic allergic reaction. Benedryl makes me want to run a marathon, not a good thing when you are attached to an IV line, so they had to give me a quick tranquilizer, then not use Benedryl in subsequent treatments. The steroids keep me awake and hyper, so now I take Ambien in addition to all the other drugs in my regime. I will discontinue that once I am off the steroids. Also, it makes me short-tempered and less likely to think before I speak. Now, near the end of treatment, I am starting to see some of the Taxol side effects -- numbness in my feet, headaches, discoloration of my fingernails (which are awful at best), fatigue. Some people experience these side effects, and others, sooner, but for me the side effects of the steroids have been the worst part.

    All in all, if I had to choose, I would choose Taxol over A/C. No trips to the emergency room because of fever, no super-low white counts, way much less fatigue. And you might not lose your hair!
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    mollieb said:

    So Sorry --
    I am so sorry your news was not better. I just finished the 9th of 12 weekly Taxol treatments, following four every-three-weeks A/C treatments. Well, there was a 7-week break after the first two Taxol because I was hit by a car and needed a shoulder replacement, but who's counting?

    Taxol is much less toxic than A/C (Adriamycin/Cytoxan) but it has its own problems. Not everyone loses her hair -- mine had started to grow back during the break and I still have it, which is nice. Taxol causes severe allergic reactions in some people, and they don't wait to see if you are one of them. They pre-medicate with benedryl and steroids to prevent a catastrophic allergic reaction. Benedryl makes me want to run a marathon, not a good thing when you are attached to an IV line, so they had to give me a quick tranquilizer, then not use Benedryl in subsequent treatments. The steroids keep me awake and hyper, so now I take Ambien in addition to all the other drugs in my regime. I will discontinue that once I am off the steroids. Also, it makes me short-tempered and less likely to think before I speak. Now, near the end of treatment, I am starting to see some of the Taxol side effects -- numbness in my feet, headaches, discoloration of my fingernails (which are awful at best), fatigue. Some people experience these side effects, and others, sooner, but for me the side effects of the steroids have been the worst part.

    All in all, if I had to choose, I would choose Taxol over A/C. No trips to the emergency room because of fever, no super-low white counts, way much less fatigue. And you might not lose your hair!

    I just responded to your 1st post
    I'm so sorry you got that dreaded call. Envision that this drug is gonna kick cancer's behind! I tried not to read into all the possibilities and percentages and side effects but just prayed that God would equip me each day, one day at a time. He IS our strength!

    Stay hopeful.

    Hugs,

    Sylvia
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    I am sorry
    for your news. I had Taxotere/Cytoxan. My 6 rounds were every 3 weeks unlike yours being weekly. We are all so different even though we have C in common. I hope you have success with the Taxol (Taxotere). I'll be praying for you.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    I am so sorry!! I hope you
    I am so sorry!! I hope you are able to do the trial and that it is successful for you. I agree that you shouldn't pay attention to stats...that's such a large group of people, not you!

    I'm sending prayers that you may find some peace and that this horrible disease goes away.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • stayingstrongfortoday
    stayingstrongfortoday Member Posts: 116

    I am so sorry!! I hope you
    I am so sorry!! I hope you are able to do the trial and that it is successful for you. I agree that you shouldn't pay attention to stats...that's such a large group of people, not you!

    I'm sending prayers that you may find some peace and that this horrible disease goes away.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    Wondering
    If any of you were told you had mets and then suddenly had every symptom. I feel like it's a big mind game!!
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000

    Believe in miracles
    Believe in miracles like I do.I am having a biopsy soon. Waiting to hear back from the breast center.I am praying and will say a prayer for you. The lady that had been through what you are going through is doing fine. There is hope.Just fight with all your might.

    I didn't need chemo or radiation.Non invasive DCIS but now (just 2 years later) they want to do a biopsy.They think I have a cyst but have to be sure.I will even take a benign tumor if it isn't a cyst. Malignant is not what I am expecting.I have to be positive.

    I wish more than anything you see your kids and grandkids. I've seen on this board so many have battled this disease 3 and 4 times. They're still with us and will be for many more years.

    Lynn Smith

    I also believe in miracles
    I also believe in miracles and the power of prayer. I know all of the pink sisters are praying for you right now and will continue.

    Please try to stay positive and fight, fight, fight!


    Huge hugs,

    Megan
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    So sorry to hear about the
    So sorry to hear about the news. I will say a prayer that you are able to get on with clinical trial. Hugs and prayer to you. Chenheart gave a good response about stats. Stats are just numbers and you, my dear, are far from just a number.
    XOXO
    Ines
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member

    Wondering
    If any of you were told you had mets and then suddenly had every symptom. I feel like it's a big mind game!!

    It is a mind game indeed! I
    It is a mind game indeed! I agree with you there. When you feel anxious or down, please pray (psalm 40 and 20 are great). You don't need to carry the anxiety, let Jesus carry it for you. Someone posted a beautiful letter on this forum - can't remember who it was! But I need to find it. I think it was from Kari's post "Wish I had better news". It should be there, at the bottom - I think. If you find it, please read it and remember it... and believe.
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member

    Wondering
    If any of you were told you had mets and then suddenly had every symptom. I feel like it's a big mind game!!

    Found the letter!
    It was posted by Poeticrevolver. Here it is:

    My Beautiful Daughter,

    If the devil happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD box(something for Jesus to do)box.It will e addressed in my time, not yours.

    Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold on to it or attempt to remove it. Holding on or removal will delay the resolution of your problem.

    If it is a situation that you think you are capable of handling, please consult me in prayer to be sure it is the proper solution.

    Because I do not sleep nor do I slumber. There is no need for you to lose any sleep. Rest my child. If you need to contact me, I am only a prayer away

    Love Eternally,

    The Lord Your God
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member

    So sorry to hear about the
    So sorry to hear about the news. I will say a prayer that you are able to get on with clinical trial. Hugs and prayer to you. Chenheart gave a good response about stats. Stats are just numbers and you, my dear, are far from just a number.
    XOXO
    Ines

    Gentle hugs .. and prayers ..
    You are not a stat, you are a person - human being. Praying that the clinical trial works in your favor.

    You are a WARRIOR, fierce in every sense of the word. Never forget that.

    Strength, Courage and Hope.

    Vicki Sam
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    Hate to hear this...
    But I agree with Chen, these are statistics and we are not statistics. If they were right I would have been out of here 6 months ago and tonight I am going to a rodeo. Stage IV does not mean instant death, it means we just have to work a little harder to stay alive! Prayers and love are coming your way. We are on a journey that sucks, but not impossible!

    Carol
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    camul said:

    Hate to hear this...
    But I agree with Chen, these are statistics and we are not statistics. If they were right I would have been out of here 6 months ago and tonight I am going to a rodeo. Stage IV does not mean instant death, it means we just have to work a little harder to stay alive! Prayers and love are coming your way. We are on a journey that sucks, but not impossible!

    Carol

    Sorry you did not get the news you wanted
    but I am sending all my prayers and positive energy to you, dear sister, to fight the good fight with the Taxol or the trial and get back to that point of remission again. You can do this--the human spirit always prevails and it will in you.

    We're all with you in this fight.

    Hugs, Renee