She had cancer but shes fine now cuz the cancer is gone
I just thought, only a year out from treatment, and shes FINE....yup... Only someone who never had cancer would be able to think that. Cancer's gone, everything is FINE. Fine to me is a word I saw when things are not fine lol. I have no bad feelings about the woman, because I know that obviously not having had cancer herself, she would have no idea. It was interesting,however, to the degree that having cancer has changed my outlook.
Comments
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It is pretty interesting out
It is pretty interesting out there in the Non Cancer World, isnt it?! Consider it a blessing you heard of someone being over it, fine, cancer free and cured!! More often than not we hear how someones 2nd cousin twice removed on their ex-husbands best friends neighbors side not only had our EXACT cancer, but of course they DIED! And painfully, too! Really???? It was necessary to tell me this bit of cheerful news???
Ya have to laugh...otherwise you will unravel like an old thrift store sweater!
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
Don't let anyone steal your sunshine!chenheart said:It is pretty interesting out
It is pretty interesting out there in the Non Cancer World, isnt it?! Consider it a blessing you heard of someone being over it, fine, cancer free and cured!! More often than not we hear how someones 2nd cousin twice removed on their ex-husbands best friends neighbors side not only had our EXACT cancer, but of course they DIED! And painfully, too! Really???? It was necessary to tell me this bit of cheerful news???
Ya have to laugh...otherwise you will unravel like an old thrift store sweater!
Hugs,
Chen♥
I used to be a lil angry at comments like that woman said to you, but, then I realized that they truly do not understand and there is no way that they can if they haven't been diagnosed with bc.
Our journey thru bc is unique in the fact that unless you have "Been There", you are totally clueless no matter how hard they might try.
I have never seen a bc sister say she is cured. That seems to be a term that only non bc women and men use. But, they don't know any better, or else, they are just hoping that it is the truth.
Don't let what she said upset you. It isn't worth it. You just enjoy your life and don't let anyone steal your sunshine for the day!
Hugs, Leeza0 -
Just like Leeza...jnl said:Don't let anyone steal your sunshine!
I used to be a lil angry at comments like that woman said to you, but, then I realized that they truly do not understand and there is no way that they can if they haven't been diagnosed with bc.
Our journey thru bc is unique in the fact that unless you have "Been There", you are totally clueless no matter how hard they might try.
I have never seen a bc sister say she is cured. That seems to be a term that only non bc women and men use. But, they don't know any better, or else, they are just hoping that it is the truth.
Don't let what she said upset you. It isn't worth it. You just enjoy your life and don't let anyone steal your sunshine for the day!
Hugs, Leeza
I pointed on the 'cured' word...
After over 6 years since my first diagnosis, I still don't consider myself cured...in remission, NED, yes...but not cured...
I just chalk these comments up to innocence...and I hope for that innocent that they never get first hand knowledge (cancer themselves...sigh).
Hugs, Kathi0 -
never ceases to amaze...Stupid comments!KathiM said:Just like Leeza...
I pointed on the 'cured' word...
After over 6 years since my first diagnosis, I still don't consider myself cured...in remission, NED, yes...but not cured...
I just chalk these comments up to innocence...and I hope for that innocent that they never get first hand knowledge (cancer themselves...sigh).
Hugs, Kathi
The stupid things people say...had an experience just a week ago....I was at a cookout where everyone brought a side dish...one very young woman brought one of the Hormel " appetizer" thingies...you know, with crackers, little hunks of cheese, ham, etc....she plopped it on the table without even opening it...well a " supposed friend " said oh let's open that, I'm starving....each ingredient was wrapped in " triple strength plastic " I was having a hard time as she was also...I said " I can't open anything, anymore.". Her reply, " Is that because of the chemo?". I just looked at her and said, " well if it is, what's your problem, you can't open it either!!!!!!!!!". I have to be honest, my first go round with the beast two years ago, I over looked stupid comments, just smiled, while thinking you dumb---! This go around, I'm finding it very hard to just let it go.....I keep telling myself, they don't get it, but at the same time, I have decided to reply with a few little retorts myself...! No more Mrs.Nice Gal.... lol...I can't make them understand what it's like to be fighting for my life, but perhaps I CAN shut 'em up!
Hugs to all,
Nancy0 -
i always try to get intoCAchick said:Thanks for posting...helps me
Hi, I appreciate your post, and I appreciate all the wise responses, too! I still get mad about those types of comments sometimes. You wise ladies are helping me even as I read the thread...I think God sends us what we need!
Thanks!
Sybil
I always try to get into people's heads and figure out what they mean. Perhaps a little too much. It does give you insight onhow people really think. they see you as fine so why shouldnt you be fine feel fine and act like nothing ever happened. They sare soooo over it. never mind you arent. Thats why support is so important. I was watching DrDrew celebrity rehab (dont laugh) but he said "Through shared experience we heal" and I really agree with that!0 -
She is fine
Hi Dear Cinnamonsmile:
Boy, does that "cure" thing make me angry, no nice old lady here. Barely supress the f...word in polite company, like friends, neighbors, but let fly with husband. It's all behind me, says wise old he, we are "cured" (it's about 11 months out). Nothing to worry about, a little pain, really? My knee hurts too, you know. Neuropathy, limping on my left foot, can't grip things? Clumsy me! His family - what cancer? Don't want to hear, you REALLY must get on with your life, you know, same for friends. Attended a beautiful luncheon arranged by my hospital "A Celebration of Life, to celebrate the strength and courage of cancer survivors". One of the speakers, a State Representative and cancer survivor herself talked about going from one NED test to another, and all 350 attendees knew exactly what she was talking about. This is why I am so glad to have found this website, dear sisters in pink.
M.0 -
sickle cell anemia
Sickle cell anemia is a blood disorder, not cancer. The woman didn't know what she was talking about. I don't believe there is a cure for this either. There are a lot of miracle cures going around for all kinds of conditions. I am not sure if people are just trying to give us hope or just ignorant of the realities of cancer.
Cindy0 -
Mamolady I thought she meantmamolady said:sickle cell anemia
Sickle cell anemia is a blood disorder, not cancer. The woman didn't know what she was talking about. I don't believe there is a cure for this either. There are a lot of miracle cures going around for all kinds of conditions. I am not sure if people are just trying to give us hope or just ignorant of the realities of cancer.
Cindy
Mamolady I thought she meant sickle cell anemia too--so I had to look up sickle cell leukemia to find out if such a thing exists and to my surprise it does. I learn something new every day. Google says it is: Chronic lymphocytic leukemia in a patient with sickle cell anemia and is called sickle cell leukemia.
I have "Mediterranean Anemia, also called Cooley's Anemia, or Medical Term for me is Thalassemia Trait which is a distant cousin to Tay -Sachs and sickle cell. It is genetically inherited. The red cells have odd shapes and the oxygen is not carried thru the blood as it should.
I think people are trying to give us hope and be nice to us, and they havent a clue what we have experienced. I've told relatives who have never had cancer that I was extremely fatigued and they say oh we know about fatigue because we have it too. I dont talk about those things to them much anymore because I dont get a response that is comfortable.
In the past I'd be upset and angry but now I simply try to avoid them and their comments.0 -
They know not what they say...
When I was in recovery from my port insertion the nurse told me about her friend with BC..
The friend called her dad with her dx, asked him to go to church to pray for her, he did...when he came out of church he was hit by a truck and killed. After that horrid story I became the **** and when anyone started telling me a story I would say.."if it doesn't have a happy ending don't tell me this story"
I also found it quite crazy that my husband's aunt who has never said 2 words to me in 21 years wanted to hear all about my cancer at a wedding recently. I didn't smack her cuz she's 90.
Hang in there, cancer is such a crazy ride, I'm just hoping to be chronic not acute,
Jennifer0 -
I'll tell you what made me
I'll tell you what made me so mad when I had lost all my hair, eyelashes and eyebrows included; I was going through chemo and exhaused; someone would say to me, "You look so good." Yea, if you find a pastey-white, bald woman who resembles a big-mouth bass attractive. Then I'd think, look good compared to what? a piece of s__?
And I knew they really didn't know what to say, but I'd still feel angry...
Unreasonable, I guess
Judy0 -
I can laugh now....poplolly said:I'll tell you what made me
I'll tell you what made me so mad when I had lost all my hair, eyelashes and eyebrows included; I was going through chemo and exhaused; someone would say to me, "You look so good." Yea, if you find a pastey-white, bald woman who resembles a big-mouth bass attractive. Then I'd think, look good compared to what? a piece of s__?
And I knew they really didn't know what to say, but I'd still feel angry...
Unreasonable, I guess
Judy
but I wasn't laughing then, during treatment! Judy, your big-mouth bass comment really cracked me up. If there was one thing I COULD NOT take was the stupid comments people made...."you look good" "you look great". I think people say these things because they don't know what else to say and they think they'll make us feel better. And then, there's the "she's all done, it's gone, so we can just ignore her" mentality. Not really ingore, but stop asking "how are you" etc. We will never be done-they just don't get it. I'm sure most if not all of us deal with ongoing side effects and then there's the never ending follow-ups oh and then the 'what if it comes back' occasional thoughts. People who never had cancer just don't have a clue what we went/go through. It's nice to come here and be surrounded by such understanding people!
Chris0 -
Cuz the cancer is gonemckevnic said:I can laugh now....
but I wasn't laughing then, during treatment! Judy, your big-mouth bass comment really cracked me up. If there was one thing I COULD NOT take was the stupid comments people made...."you look good" "you look great". I think people say these things because they don't know what else to say and they think they'll make us feel better. And then, there's the "she's all done, it's gone, so we can just ignore her" mentality. Not really ingore, but stop asking "how are you" etc. We will never be done-they just don't get it. I'm sure most if not all of us deal with ongoing side effects and then there's the never ending follow-ups oh and then the 'what if it comes back' occasional thoughts. People who never had cancer just don't have a clue what we went/go through. It's nice to come here and be surrounded by such understanding people!
Chris
Trying to think of a psydonym (sp?) for this blog, I asked my frieds. One came up with "AOK". Mind you, I have severe chronic pain from lymph node removal 14 months ago, am on large dosages of Neurontin, Neuropathy in both arms and feet, limping on the left one, looking at nerve blocks hopefully to cut the pain, have slight lymph edema, had to double my B/P medication, but, folks, I am AOK! Amazing.
M.0 -
I think some people say this
I think some people say this for different reasons: they are in denial, they don't understand about this illness, they have faith it is indeed gone, they are scared. And then you have those people who have no idea what to say, how to say it and when ... and so they say the first thing that comes to mind (e.g. you look great!). I would hope that people's intentions are not to hurt people going through this - that would be pretty evil - and even if that's the situation - we should just forgive, ignore, and move on.
This illness has changed many of us, if not all. And everyday I find that it is difficult to relate to the other world. The world including people that have never been touched by mortality. Let's remember that in some way, we are ahead of them, sperituality - I think.
I know, not the best situation, but when I think about it, I take it as another chance. We know mortality is real, but many think and believe that it's not going to happen to them, or maybe it will happen when they are 100 years old (I thought this too). I am not saying we will not get to be 100, no way. I am just saying we have been touched in a way that no one else (from the other world) has been. Therefore, they will never understand, until they get touched (awaken) by something serious like this illness. It is true what they say, ignorance is a bliss!
All we can do is keep trying to feel as normal as possible, and always - more than ever - set priorities so that we can enjoy what's important in life.0 -
Judy - Your comment made mypoplolly said:I'll tell you what made me
I'll tell you what made me so mad when I had lost all my hair, eyelashes and eyebrows included; I was going through chemo and exhaused; someone would say to me, "You look so good." Yea, if you find a pastey-white, bald woman who resembles a big-mouth bass attractive. Then I'd think, look good compared to what? a piece of s__?
And I knew they really didn't know what to say, but I'd still feel angry...
Unreasonable, I guess
Judy
Judy - Your comment made my day! LOL0 -
I agree with most of the commentsLoveBabyJesus said:I think some people say this
I think some people say this for different reasons: they are in denial, they don't understand about this illness, they have faith it is indeed gone, they are scared. And then you have those people who have no idea what to say, how to say it and when ... and so they say the first thing that comes to mind (e.g. you look great!). I would hope that people's intentions are not to hurt people going through this - that would be pretty evil - and even if that's the situation - we should just forgive, ignore, and move on.
This illness has changed many of us, if not all. And everyday I find that it is difficult to relate to the other world. The world including people that have never been touched by mortality. Let's remember that in some way, we are ahead of them, sperituality - I think.
I know, not the best situation, but when I think about it, I take it as another chance. We know mortality is real, but many think and believe that it's not going to happen to them, or maybe it will happen when they are 100 years old (I thought this too). I am not saying we will not get to be 100, no way. I am just saying we have been touched in a way that no one else (from the other world) has been. Therefore, they will never understand, until they get touched (awaken) by something serious like this illness. It is true what they say, ignorance is a bliss!
All we can do is keep trying to feel as normal as possible, and always - more than ever - set priorities so that we can enjoy what's important in life.
I agree with most of the comments here about peoples comments. While I was going through chemo I learned alot about people. More than I cared to learn. I realize that people did not know how to act and even acted like cancer was airborne or something. I have a long list.
Anyway, I am grateful that I was indeed healed by God and my stage 3 cancer disappeared. My oncologist had to stop my chemo. I did not have to go thru radiation or surgery. Yes, it is gone, I had to go through extensive test and scans so the doctors could be sure that is no longer there.
So I can say that since January 9, 2011 I am cancer-free. Of course, I had enough chemo to leave me with neuropathy. I am doing alternative therapy to help me with that.
I am grateful to be alive and a second chance at life.0 -
I had an insight yesterday.raqsmith said:I agree with most of the comments
I agree with most of the comments here about peoples comments. While I was going through chemo I learned alot about people. More than I cared to learn. I realize that people did not know how to act and even acted like cancer was airborne or something. I have a long list.
Anyway, I am grateful that I was indeed healed by God and my stage 3 cancer disappeared. My oncologist had to stop my chemo. I did not have to go thru radiation or surgery. Yes, it is gone, I had to go through extensive test and scans so the doctors could be sure that is no longer there.
So I can say that since January 9, 2011 I am cancer-free. Of course, I had enough chemo to leave me with neuropathy. I am doing alternative therapy to help me with that.
I am grateful to be alive and a second chance at life.
I had an insight yesterday. I was talking to my friend and she was telling me about her aunt who had ovarian cancer. She said she looked great, and had one more treatment. She said she was considered "cancer free" but also said she didnt know what that meant. so I told her. I think many people assume 'forever" instead of" right now" and perhaps forever. The hard part is you just dont know. I think most people think its a cure, and then you move on. However its not like a strep throat that you take antibiotics for its a life long consideration at the least.0
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