I'm Going to MD Anderson...
Still going through the process of gathering info for MDA and I don't have an appointment yet, but I am determined to go through with this.
I have to see my oncologist of 24 years tomorrow and I feel like a traitor. I am not sure how to spring this on him diplomatically. Any thoughts? Why do I feel so guilty?
Comments
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I'm sorry
to hear that you even have reason to get a second opinion. BUT, from the very beginning my onc has welcomed me to do so. I don't think you will offend him. Good luck getting everything gathered together for the trip. Please let us know how it goes and as always, best wishes.
Marsha0 -
I got a second opinion both
I got a second opinion both times. I have had the same doc for 18 years I never told him anything. He made some comment to me about it and I just ignored it. I dont owe anyone any explanation. However if you need to say something, just say you want to make sure you are covering your bases and to see if there are any new treatments or trials in the works. Tell him you respect his opinion just want to be thorough.
glad you are doing this as it will give you peace of mind that you are doing all you can to fight this.0 -
MD Anderson
Awesome that you can go to MD Anderson. I don't think there is an oncologist around that would be offended by asking for a second opinion. You obviously have been happy with him. It is not being a traitor to take advantage of all the resources available to you.
Cindy0 -
MD Anderson
Awesome that you can go to MD Anderson. I don't think there is an oncologist around that would be offended by asking for a second opinion. You obviously have been happy with him. It is not being a traitor to take advantage of all the resources available to you.
Cindy0 -
2nd opinions are common! So, do it!mamolady said:MD Anderson
Awesome that you can go to MD Anderson. I don't think there is an oncologist around that would be offended by asking for a second opinion. You obviously have been happy with him. It is not being a traitor to take advantage of all the resources available to you.
Cindy
As you can see from the posts already Cynthia, it is I think, fairly common to get a second opinion. After all, this is our life that we are talking about and we want all of our bases covered.
I fired my first oncologist. It really wasn't hard to do. I look at it as they work for me and if I want to "shop" around, then so be it. And if any oncologist is worth a grain of salt, they will respect a 2nd opinion, even welcome it.
I never wanted to bury my head in the sand, I wanted to make sure I was doing everything I could and to feel good about my oncologist.
So, the best of luck to you Cynthia. You will be in my prayers.
♠♣ Love, Susie ♠♣0 -
Cynthia
sorry that you have the reason for a second opinion, I agree it would never hurt.
I would not jump before you see what is your current doctor is going to say, what treatment plan he is having in mind. Once he communicates his vision and strategy, you will know how to approach the situation. Maybe he will suggest someone himself.
Even a respectable institution has good and bad doctors, poor scientists and compassionate individuals. Plus if you need treatment (other then pill) collaboration between your old doc and MD Anderson will be crucial for your progress. It is much easy to stay at home than live in hotel during treatment.
I changed my oncologist 15 months ago. I do not have regrets, however it was difficult decision
Good luck
New Flower0 -
You need to do what you feel
You need to do what you feel is best for you. I would just tell him that while you are confident in his care you feel the need to get a 2nd opinion. Any doctor, even a long term one, should encourage to be comfortable in your treatment. I think you will find that he/she might ask why but that they will be supportive of this choice. I hope that this opinion will help you. Sometimes we need to go outside our team and seek other advice. Do not feel guilty about wanting to be proactive with your health.
Stef0 -
I saw my new oncologist on
I saw my new oncologist on Monday~ I had my old one for over 8 years. I have chosen NOT to say anything at all...I clicked with the new Dr, and feel my "relationship" with my old onco has run its course. I have an appointment with him the end of next month; my plan is to simply cancel it and not reschedule.
I can't see any Dr worth his salt objecting to a 2nd opinion...and even if ones Dr did object, that isn't his call, is it? Only you know how much you value the care you have gotten from your oncologist, and who knows? MD Anderson may not give you any different options than your Dr has given you now. The treatment may remain the same...in which case its good for you to have checked~ and no harm, no foul as regards your current onco. If, though, like me, you click someplace else...and you absolutely valued what your former Dr did for you; you could send him a note. I think SMALL notecards, without much blank space are best! "Dear Dr So and So,
You have taken such excellent care of me through my cancer journey that I feel certain you will both understand and wish me God-speed as Danny and I go for a 2nd opinion at MDA. I simply want to leave no stones unturned as it were, and I ask your blessing on this endeavor. Thank you for all the time, care and expertise you have shared with me; I will be forever thankful and indebted to you. Sincerely, CypressCynthia"
Or something like that!!!
I love you~ my ♥ is with you! Please let us know what happens at MDA!
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
I think what you are doingchenheart said:I saw my new oncologist on
I saw my new oncologist on Monday~ I had my old one for over 8 years. I have chosen NOT to say anything at all...I clicked with the new Dr, and feel my "relationship" with my old onco has run its course. I have an appointment with him the end of next month; my plan is to simply cancel it and not reschedule.
I can't see any Dr worth his salt objecting to a 2nd opinion...and even if ones Dr did object, that isn't his call, is it? Only you know how much you value the care you have gotten from your oncologist, and who knows? MD Anderson may not give you any different options than your Dr has given you now. The treatment may remain the same...in which case its good for you to have checked~ and no harm, no foul as regards your current onco. If, though, like me, you click someplace else...and you absolutely valued what your former Dr did for you; you could send him a note. I think SMALL notecards, without much blank space are best! "Dear Dr So and So,
You have taken such excellent care of me through my cancer journey that I feel certain you will both understand and wish me God-speed as Danny and I go for a 2nd opinion at MDA. I simply want to leave no stones unturned as it were, and I ask your blessing on this endeavor. Thank you for all the time, care and expertise you have shared with me; I will be forever thankful and indebted to you. Sincerely, CypressCynthia"
Or something like that!!!
I love you~ my ♥ is with you! Please let us know what happens at MDA!
Hugs,
Chen♥
I think what you are doing is the right thing Cynthia. I wouldn't think twice to get a second opinion if I felt that I wanted to or needed to. And, I know my husband would almost force me to if he thought I did. I just haven't felt the need to as of yet. I can't believe some people stay with their oncologist and question his capabilities, yet, whine because they aren't being taken care of. One should always move on for a new oncologist or at least another doctor's opinion.
I don't think there is a wrong way or a right way to tell your current oncologist about your going to MDA for a second opinion. I think it is truly an individual choice.
And, from what I read that you wrote, you aren't firing your present oncologist, just going for another opinion. So, I truly don't think your oncologist will say anything except that it is a great idea, which by the way, it is.
You just get your appointment and let us know, so, we can get the pink bus ready to go with you.
You have always been so helpful on this site that the least we can do is be with you for your appointment, if only in the pink bus spirit!
Hugs, Lex0 -
Remember, it is your life to do with as you see fit. If getting a second opinion is what you feel you need then by all means. You wouldn't want to beat yourself up later for not having gotten a second opinion.
Conversely, when I knew I had bc, I was asked by several people if I was going to go for a second opinion on the issue, I said, No way. Why? Because I thought this, If I have an aggressive bc and it is already taking some time to get the lumpectomy, do I want to give this bc any advantage because of a delay in getting my lumpectomy? He22 no! Get the cancer out of there and we will study the results later. As it turned out I did indeed have an aggressive bc. I felt the same way about starting chemo. Kill any stray run away cells NOW. My instincts were right with getting the ball rolling sooner than later. Trust your instincts Cynthia!0 -
You were, in part, mychenheart said:I saw my new oncologist on
I saw my new oncologist on Monday~ I had my old one for over 8 years. I have chosen NOT to say anything at all...I clicked with the new Dr, and feel my "relationship" with my old onco has run its course. I have an appointment with him the end of next month; my plan is to simply cancel it and not reschedule.
I can't see any Dr worth his salt objecting to a 2nd opinion...and even if ones Dr did object, that isn't his call, is it? Only you know how much you value the care you have gotten from your oncologist, and who knows? MD Anderson may not give you any different options than your Dr has given you now. The treatment may remain the same...in which case its good for you to have checked~ and no harm, no foul as regards your current onco. If, though, like me, you click someplace else...and you absolutely valued what your former Dr did for you; you could send him a note. I think SMALL notecards, without much blank space are best! "Dear Dr So and So,
You have taken such excellent care of me through my cancer journey that I feel certain you will both understand and wish me God-speed as Danny and I go for a 2nd opinion at MDA. I simply want to leave no stones unturned as it were, and I ask your blessing on this endeavor. Thank you for all the time, care and expertise you have shared with me; I will be forever thankful and indebted to you. Sincerely, CypressCynthia"
Or something like that!!!
I love you~ my ♥ is with you! Please let us know what happens at MDA!
Hugs,
Chen♥
You were, in part, my inspiration Chen. I do believe that my oncologist is thorough and he has kept me alive for 24 years, so I'm hoping to continue to work with him. My boss's husband has leukemia and they decided to go to MDA and their physicians there work with his local physician. He now only goes over there a few times a year.
With MDA, you can do an online self referral--I had no idea until my boss told me this! The hardest part for me is they want the last 2 of everything: PETs, CTs, Xrays, labs, etc. And, of course, I never had anything at the same place. It really is a scavenger hunt. And imagine trying to find records from 1987--so far, no one can find my original biopsy. Between time and Katrina, it may be forever gone.
But I know in my heart that going is the right thing to do (for me). I believe in research and, if there is a trial and I need a trial, I want to be where there is one. As someone else so wisely said, there are good and bad physicians at all institutions--even MDA--so I'm not going to be quick in doing anything. Hopefully, my onc will be on board with this. I'll keep you posted. And thanks for the kind words!0 -
I'm glad for you that you
I'm glad for you that you have that option! I didnt. No insurance to cover it and no money. Be happy that you can see them and don't worry about what your onc may or may not think. I'm sure he would explore all his options as well! All the best to you sis!!0 -
Best of luck to you CynthiaCorinna11 said:I'm glad for you that you
I'm glad for you that you have that option! I didnt. No insurance to cover it and no money. Be happy that you can see them and don't worry about what your onc may or may not think. I'm sure he would explore all his options as well! All the best to you sis!!
Best of luck to you Cynthia and I also think you're doing the right thing. Keep us posted.
Hugs,
Wanda0 -
It sounds like you have a
It sounds like you have a wonderful oncologist and any oncologist worth his salt should welcome second opinions! He or she may even be able to recommend a colleague. I understand your feelings, but see no reason for you to feel guilty. Ours is life or death situation! xoxoxo Lynn0 -
I completely understandlynn1950 said:It sounds like you have a
It sounds like you have a wonderful oncologist and any oncologist worth his salt should welcome second opinions! He or she may even be able to recommend a colleague. I understand your feelings, but see no reason for you to feel guilty. Ours is life or death situation! xoxoxo Lynn
your feeling of guilt and disloyalty, but as many have already said, your oncologist should completely understand. It'd be one thing if your car was making a funny noise and you brought it to another mechanic but we are talking about your life here. I am sure that your oncologist will understand that anything you can do to cross all your t's and dot all of your i's with respect to your life saving treatments, you must do. I am glad that you are taking this extra step and I know it will only help you. I am sure that you will continue to forge forward. You are an inspiration to many here.
Best,
Clementine0 -
I say go for it!
Sometimes you need another opinion and some "fresh" eyes to keep things going as they need to, even if it is time for a left turn after you had planned a right turn.
Usually physicians are intelligent people and most of them are willing to consider something new or someone else's opinion, I would think that if your onc. wasn't you wouldn't have stayed with him so long.
Good luck on your "treasure" hunt trying to find all of your records,
Jennifer0 -
New Doctor, New Day, and Praying for Goodgrams2jc said:I say go for it!
Sometimes you need another opinion and some "fresh" eyes to keep things going as they need to, even if it is time for a left turn after you had planned a right turn.
Usually physicians are intelligent people and most of them are willing to consider something new or someone else's opinion, I would think that if your onc. wasn't you wouldn't have stayed with him so long.
Good luck on your "treasure" hunt trying to find all of your records,
Jennifer
News. I will be there for you ... thru thick and thin -- . So sorry about the CEA increase.
Go C.C., Go C.C., Go!
Strength, Courage and Hope
Vicki Sam0 -
Oh no CC
my heart is breaking with all the news we have had on this board.
You have been such a role model to us, with your always inquiring
mind, your generosity to share your knowledge and your optimistic
view.
I am so sorry you have to make that trip. I wish you the best outcome
possible.
Love,
Ayse0 -
This is your life and you have the rightaysemari said:Oh no CC
my heart is breaking with all the news we have had on this board.
You have been such a role model to us, with your always inquiring
mind, your generosity to share your knowledge and your optimistic
view.
I am so sorry you have to make that trip. I wish you the best outcome
possible.
Love,
Ayse
to get as many opinions as you wish. I know how you feel, though--especially if you've had a good relationship thus far. It's a hard thing to do, but I feel you're doing the right thing.
My wish for you is ease at finding all your reports and films, a swift, safe journey there, finding the right oncologist and having a great outcome.
Please keep us posted, Cynthia. We'll all be anxious to hear how things go.
Hugs, Renee0
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