My most frequently asked question.....

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KathiM
KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
edited May 2011 in Breast Cancer #1
"So, do you think attitude is the reason you survived?"....

Just got it yesterday again at the bank (celebrating my birthday and 5 years post any treatment on both cancers this July)....

My response: "Well, I can tell you that it doesn't hurt. I am very blessed that for a whole bunch of reasons (including luck...heredity gave me a VERY strong immune system so that I didn't miss a single treatment from white cell count) I survived. But, with a positive attitude (as much as possible...there were my awful days, too!), I was able to gather people closer to me that were then invested in trying their best, doing their best, to give me the best possible chance of survival! So, in that way, remembering my 'please and thank you's (I told my gastric surgeon that I thought he was VERY handsome, just before being put under for my bowel resection...*smile*), I got the best treatment I could. The rest, well..."

What do YOU say when someone asks you?

Hugs, Kathi
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Comments

  • Different Ballgame
    Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
    #2
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    IT'S NOT MY TIME
    Kathii,

    The reason that I have survived because it is not my time. I believe that with my whole heart and soul.

    I believe that a positive attitude helps you in the journey to recovery. It makes easier to deal with all that you have to deal with.

    Lots of Hugs,
    Janelle
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #3
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    Happy Birthday again
    I completely agree with you. Positive attitude, good people around, best treatment, being your own advocate, and luck.
    Nobody ever asked me this question yet. I am sure it will happen and I know the answer now
    Thank you
    New Flower
  • KatieS
    KatieS Member Posts: 5
    #4
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    Attitude
    I was originally diagnosed 10 yrs ago. In 2004 I was diagnosed with stage IV bone mets.
    Since I know I'll never be "cured" I decided to think of and manage it as the chronic illness that it has become. I live with it; I'm not dying from it. On days when I start to feel a little low,I remind myself of my blessings; my wonderful & supportive husband,my children & grandchildren, siblings, friends & coworkers and also my great onco & onco nurse & infusion team. I realize I have treatment options still available. Finally I remind myself that as bad as I may feel, there is someone else who needs my good thoughts & prayers to get them through their day & they need me to be strong for them. I occupy myself with my job and outside interests. And chocolate helps!
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    #5
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    New Flower said:

    Happy Birthday again
    I completely agree with you. Positive attitude, good people around, best treatment, being your own advocate, and luck.
    Nobody ever asked me this question yet. I am sure it will happen and I know the answer now
    Thank you
    New Flower

    Haven't been asked yet
    I haven't been asked yet because it has been barely 2 years. I avoid many people because some seem negative about it.They think as soon as someone is dx it is terminal.

    BUT when I get there and I am asked it would be Prayer, strong belief and miracles happen.Oh and I also can't forget my doctors.They are so encouraging with my dx when I'm just not sure yet!!!!

    In my 5th year I will feel better

    Lynn Smith
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #6
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    Different Ballgame said:

    IT'S NOT MY TIME
    Kathii,

    The reason that I have survived because it is not my time. I believe that with my whole heart and soul.

    I believe that a positive attitude helps you in the journey to recovery. It makes easier to deal with all that you have to deal with.

    Lots of Hugs,
    Janelle

    That is a great answer!
    Being positive sure has gotten me thru alot of life's challenges, for certain!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #7
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    New Flower said:

    Happy Birthday again
    I completely agree with you. Positive attitude, good people around, best treatment, being your own advocate, and luck.
    Nobody ever asked me this question yet. I am sure it will happen and I know the answer now
    Thank you
    New Flower

    Thank you, New Flower, for the birthday greetings!
    And, sooner than you think, you will get this question, if I have anything to say about it!!!! *smile*

    Hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #8
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    Lynn Smith said:

    Haven't been asked yet
    I haven't been asked yet because it has been barely 2 years. I avoid many people because some seem negative about it.They think as soon as someone is dx it is terminal.

    BUT when I get there and I am asked it would be Prayer, strong belief and miracles happen.Oh and I also can't forget my doctors.They are so encouraging with my dx when I'm just not sure yet!!!!

    In my 5th year I will feel better

    Lynn Smith

    I know what you are saying, Lynn...
    I usually snap out the line "I was told I had 6 months to live, 6 years ago!"...that changes the feel of the situation almost immediately! And usually gets me asked the question...*smile*....

    2 years is a very good sign!!! YEA!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #9
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    KatieS said:

    Attitude
    I was originally diagnosed 10 yrs ago. In 2004 I was diagnosed with stage IV bone mets.
    Since I know I'll never be "cured" I decided to think of and manage it as the chronic illness that it has become. I live with it; I'm not dying from it. On days when I start to feel a little low,I remind myself of my blessings; my wonderful & supportive husband,my children & grandchildren, siblings, friends & coworkers and also my great onco & onco nurse & infusion team. I realize I have treatment options still available. Finally I remind myself that as bad as I may feel, there is someone else who needs my good thoughts & prayers to get them through their day & they need me to be strong for them. I occupy myself with my job and outside interests. And chocolate helps!

    Katie, I LOVE the part about chocolate!
    But, way beyond that, your attitude is fantastic!!!!

    I will, when I stumble and start "Why me" with all of the phyical challenges I now have, courtesy of cancer (bad hip from rads, osteoporosis, lactose intollerance, new 'plumbing', my 'special' arm)...I remember to stretch out my hands and say "Here are my hands, do with them what You will. I will always try hard to never pull them back, no matter how tough it gets!".

    Hugs, Kathi
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #10
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    KathiM said:

    Katie, I LOVE the part about chocolate!
    But, way beyond that, your attitude is fantastic!!!!

    I will, when I stumble and start "Why me" with all of the phyical challenges I now have, courtesy of cancer (bad hip from rads, osteoporosis, lactose intollerance, new 'plumbing', my 'special' arm)...I remember to stretch out my hands and say "Here are my hands, do with them what You will. I will always try hard to never pull them back, no matter how tough it gets!".

    Hugs, Kathi

    Never..
    I've never been asked tha question.......most people seem to want to avoid any discussion of cancer...I think it's their own fear of cancer....as we all have, I've been asked more thoughtless and stupid questions...lol
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #11
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    MAJW said:

    Never..
    I've never been asked tha question.......most people seem to want to avoid any discussion of cancer...I think it's their own fear of cancer....as we all have, I've been asked more thoughtless and stupid questions...lol

    Very good point, dearheart!
    I agree, I have been asked some fairly wierd questions...and, you are right, usually out of fear....

    Hugs, Kathi
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #12
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    My problem is that some
    My problem is that some people I know seem to avoid me because they don't know what to say.
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    #13
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    poplolly said:

    My problem is that some
    My problem is that some people I know seem to avoid me because they don't know what to say.

    Wow.. not sure how to answer
    Wow.. not sure how to answer this one. Still being on my journey, hope has always been my driving force. Hope from my pink sisters, from my family and from my friends. Through every day gestures from my loved ones and my internal spirit, I've never felt I couldn't persevere beyond my cancer. Is it all about attitude. Hell ya.. a positive one !! But there's an awful lot of love involved too.

    Lorrie
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #14
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    butterflylvr said:

    Wow.. not sure how to answer
    Wow.. not sure how to answer this one. Still being on my journey, hope has always been my driving force. Hope from my pink sisters, from my family and from my friends. Through every day gestures from my loved ones and my internal spirit, I've never felt I couldn't persevere beyond my cancer. Is it all about attitude. Hell ya.. a positive one !! But there's an awful lot of love involved too.

    Lorrie

    nobody has asked me this.
    nobody has asked me this. However, I think its hard on a person to feel they have to be positive all the time. The first time I was diagnosed I was younger and I was afraid when I was afraid, thinking if I wasnt positve the cancer would come back. through the years I realize this is not so, and learning to be positve and strong is a process. One of maturity and resolution. However, I do believe positve thoughts etc.. help your immune system, and being positive gives you the energy to make healthy choice. Plus if you are always a downer, no one wants to be around you, and then you have no fun LOL.
    there are days when I am really mad, but most days I am ok. I hate the changes in my body. Funny, just had an appointment with my GP and I said "I regard myself as pretty healthy well, except for the cancer" then I laughed, so perhaps I am just in denial LOL
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #15
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    Survival/attitude
    I have always been one to make jokes about many occurences in life that could have brought me to destruction. I think if I am ever asked this question I might reply that I was not allowed to die because I am far too bonkers to die. I need to stay on earth and improve my mental health. Only then will I be allowed to die.
  • Brooklynchele
    Brooklynchele Member Posts: 123
    #16
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    Wow
    I've never been asked that question. It almost sounds rude to me. I'd be tempted to say, "I don't know. What's your reason?" But then, I'd probably only think it. I suppose most people mean well it's just they don't know quite how to word things. I think your answer sounds fabulous though.

    Hugs,
    Michele
  • AMomNETN
    AMomNETN Member Posts: 242
    #17
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    Answer
    Kathi,
    I just smile say yes I think it helped. To me many things play into our survial. Our attitude, family and friends, drs., our immune systems, prayers, etc. I think everyone think we have a special secret to surviving. When it is our time to go it is our time. We don't get to choose how or when. Don't know if it helps or not.

    Janie
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #18
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    I tell them that it probably
    I tell them that it probably can't hurt, but that research is beginning to show that there is no correlation between a positive attitude and cancer survival.

    Although I am Pollyanna-like positive about most things, I have a problem with folks implying that you can beat cancer with a positive attitude, because, if someone is dying from cancer, does that mean that their attitude was negative? It feels like a blame-the-victim mentality.

    Positive Attitude Doesn't Whip Cancer

    However, I do feel that depression and excessive anxiety can adversely affect anyone's health and, of course, we do need to be as mentally fit as possible.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #19
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    yes yes
    I think attitude has much to do with it...

    Denise
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #20
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    disneyfan2008 said:

    yes yes
    I think attitude has much to do with it...

    Denise

    Combination of things
    Positive attitude, and a sense of humor sure makes getting thru easier. I would always crack a joke about myself so we could laugh. It helped me, and I DID NOT want people feeling sorry for me.

    I have to 100% agree with Janelle (Different Ballgame) on this one. Not my time to leave this earth.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #21
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    I've been asked how I
    I've been asked how I handled this so well. My reply, positive support, prayer, and trust in God. Worry will get me nowhere fast, so I try not to worry very much and I try to laugh every day as much as possible. My mom always said, 'when its your time its your time" and I see from the comments that many of you pinks agree.

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