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everything hurts

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi all,
Just got back from a walk aroung the park with Lola. Everything hurts. I find it harder and harder to move. This is not good. Still having weird feelings in my hands. I think that tomorrow i will call the dr and get some advice. This really stinks.
Do you ever have the feeling that something is wrong. Well that is the way I've been feeling. Can't decide if it's meds, ca, something new or just the way it is. Sure wish it was better.
I know many of you are having such struggles right now. I feel like such a whiny needy person. I'm sorry.
Peaceful healing
Lisha

Happieapple's picture
Happieapple
Posts: 11
Joined: Apr 2011

Lisha,

Hi, I know you don't know me, especially since I'm new (very new...just joined tonight) to the site, but I can tell you that you shouldn't feel whiny at all!
If you do feel that way though, don't be sorry for it, you have something to whine about! If anyone shouldn't be whining, it's me...but I do it anyway. Other than Hodgkins, I am in perfect health and treatment doesn't take THAT much of a toll on me...not yet at least...

You are allowed to be whiny just like I am!
I hope you feel better really soon!

Much Love,
Emily : )

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Emily,
Welcome to our family. Thanks for the kind reply. Some days are just hard. Seems like i have had alot of those lately. I don't like to whine and sound so negative, but knowing that everyone on this site will offer such warm and caring replys, really helps.

I read your first post and it sure does sound like your strong. The first time I had cancer I was in my early 20s. It is hard to have ca at any age, but I think it's easier when your young and have so much ahead of you. At least for me it was.

I was thinking about your sunshine concerns. Some of the chemo that you will be having can make you photosensitive. Meaning you can burn really fast even with strong sunscreen. I would just be very careful and use a strong spf. I too love the beach.

You will meet many wonderful friends on this site, and there is always someone who will try to answer your questions.

peaceful Healing
Lisha

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3184
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Lisha,
I keep telling myself..."this is my new normal, so get use to it"..well..if this "IS" the new normal..it sucks... so I know exactly how you are feeling. How I miss the good old days when I could go from dawn to dusk and right through the evening without batting an eye. Please don't feel like your whiny..because you arn't. The Chemo, meds and just having this damn cancer is going to take it's toll on all of us and I'm sure everyone here feels the same way you do alot of the time...I know I do. I was sooooo tired all day today, but hopefully tonight I'll get a good nights sleep. You were up late also. I'm glad you at least took the time to take Lola for the walk...more than I got done. Hang in there dear and know we are always here for you. Love you...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Sue,
Thanks for the pick me up. I have just been having a bunch of crummy days and nights lately. Feels like there is just to much going on. Sure do wish i could get off this ride for awhile and relax.
Are you still fatigued. I am so so tired always. Climbing the stairs is like climbing a mountain. I have to pause at the halfway point. Cancer sucks.
Okay, I am done whinning.....
Lisha

hilde451's picture
hilde451
Posts: 229
Joined: Oct 2009

Hi Lisha :

I am sorry you feel this way. I do understand I wrote the very same thing a few weeks ago, and still dont feel right.
You just do not feel like everything is not right. You do know your own body ,that is what I think.
But I just had a scan a month ago. And I still do not feel right. Hope you feel better soon. Love, Hilde

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Hilde,
I just wrote you a reply but it vanished. So I'll start again.
I hope that it's just a matter of time before we all feel better. I do believe that everyone has a inner voice, just some people do't listen to it.
I sure do hope that you will be feeling better soon. Thanks for your kind reply.
Peaceful healing
Lisha

Michele23
Posts: 168
Joined: Mar 2011

Lets all hope that this isn't the real mes now.I don't much care for this poky person pulling me down.Things to do places to go.After hearing 2 more months of treatment to go even though its working well.I look around this house at all the things that should have been done by this time of the year.Stresses me out that I can't do it.Don't like this sitting around on the "butt thing".Hang in there we'll hang with ya.Blessings,Michele Dx95FNHL3

onlytoday's picture
onlytoday
Posts: 603
Joined: Jun 2010

Lisha and everyone,

You are one strong woman, not a whiner!! We ALL have our days and moments and this new normal just plan old sucks!! Treatment, cancer pain, anxiety ... or just that "feeling" you have (and I know that feeling) it all is very real. Follow your gut it won't lead you wrong.

I pray for you and all of our friends that they find a cure soon. I love you all. We will get through this together!! Give Lola an ear scratch for me! :)

Love,
Donna

miss maggie
Posts: 929
Joined: Mar 2010

Dear Lisha,

It's OK to whine. I can't imagine keeping our feeling inside and not saying anything.
It's very frightening when we don't feel right. Also, considering your past history.
You got through it then, and you will again. I promise you. When I first heard my DX,
I was in such mental anguish. Everyone I love was by my side. Even then I couldn't cope.
I didn't know about this site, but I did call the lymphoma society. Slowly after speaking
with different associates I started to feel much better. So please, continue to whine, and
get it all out.

First things first. Please, please go to the doctor. It could be the new medication or
something totally different than cancer. Remember, we are our worse enermies.

Love you sweet Lisha. And keep posting. Love Maggie

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

Oh Lisha can we whine together my dear??

You are the sweetest person, your greeting to newcomers is always so encouraging no matter how you feel. I envy that as sometimes I just cannot get past my own stubborn troubles.

I am on what I thought was my resting week and that things would calm down. I am still so tired and came home from work early today to rest, it's 6:30 and I am still in bed with very little desire to get up. The tears are coming more frequently now because I know how badly I do not want to go for chemo next week. I just don't want to feel so bad again. It's exhausting, overwhelming and hard. Three straight days of chemo is just too much. I know from experience the side effects will be close to the same and the idea of being sick and nauseated like that again...just yuck.

I think it's going to be even worse since my hubby is likely going to be working out of town, so I'll be on my own...with a 6 month old puppy who has wayyy to much energy. I feel like I am sliding emotionally and I can't stop the ride.

So, even though my pain today isn't physical, I feel for you too.

Take Care,
Beth

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Beth,
Sure do wish that I could be there with you. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone even when hubby is downstairs. But i know that if I really need him he will be there. Do you have any friends who are available next week to help you out. Maybe take the pup for a long walk to drain the energy. Maybe a neighbor.
I'm not going to tell you to not think about next week, because I would be doing the same as you. It is hard, no matter what anyone says.
Hopefully you will have lessened side effects or maybe none at all...
Iv'e just returned home after a crazy long day of dr app and stuff. I am so tired too. AND it's about to rain again...
I don't always have the energy to post, but if you need me, I will always answer you as soon as possible. hang in as best you can.
Lisha

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

Lisha,

I have a neighbor kid/daughter that I may see if she will come stay. She works nights so I wouldn't see her too much but she would be a huge help if she can have someone watch her dogs (Sams brother).

Also lots of Aunts close by. I am sure Jim will ask them to stop by and check on me. My neighbor next door comes over and plays with Sam every day since she doesn't work during the day. She's helped us potty train 2 dogs now, talk about a nice neighbor lol.

One of the Aunts is a taxi driver and she's always running around town and I see her drive by quite a bit.

It'll be ok, just kind of down in the dumps today. It was pretty here today and I spent the afternoon in bed. Probably be better tomorrow.

I'm hanging..
Beth

cookingirl's picture
cookingirl
Posts: 183
Joined: May 2010

Hi Beth, Lisha and others,

I know what you mean about 3 days of chemo - I JUST finished my last 2 day cycle after 11 straight months of chemo and don't think I would have another month in me! I go back for the third day for something that may help you - my Oncy. just started it two months ago and wish he'd thought of it long ago. The day after (3rd day) I go in for a hydration infusion - basically a very large bottle of saline. My chemo makes my mouth and lips feel like a cotton ball even though I drink over 100 oz. of liquid each day for days. The saline into my port really does make me feel better. I go back about once a week (or more often if I feel I need it) for it to be done a second, third or fourth time. By the 3rd week, I'm back on my feet and finished (except for Neupogen shots which seem to last the whole month for low counts). Give it a try if you haven't. Good luck - Fran

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