New to site - My dad has Stage IV Colorectal cancer

My dad is 61 years old and has been receiving treatments since the end of 2009. In January of this year they said they couldn't cure the cancer and he may only have 12 months left. I am having a really hard time dealing with the fact that he won't be around for much longer and I just needed to get it out.

I cry almost every night about it. It's just not fair! He's not even at retirement age. I don't want him to die.

Comments

  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Hi Amanda
    So sorry to hear about your dad. If you will give us a bit more information perhaps there are some suggestions that the folks here can give you to suggest to your dad.

    What part of the country does he live in? Here we come from all locations and might have some thoughts on additional medical sources.

    You mention that he is stage 4, which implies he has mets to another organ...perhaps liver or lung? Folks here have delt with both and may have some suggestions for him to discuss with his doctors.

    We will try to help all we can.

    Marie who loves kitties
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    Welcome Amanda
    Welcome to this forum + I am sorry you need to be here. I hope you will find this site useful; I know I have.
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    AnneCan said:

    Welcome Amanda
    Welcome to this forum + I am sorry you need to be here. I hope you will find this site useful; I know I have.

    Hi Amanda feel sorry you need to be here, would you give us some
    more info about dad?What kind of mets, is he been operated , kind of chemos....all this will help here, to assist you in all your questions.
    Hugs Amanda!
  • Crow71
    Crow71 Member Posts: 679 Member
    Hey Amanda
    This is a good place to come and "get it out." Everyone here can relate to the fear and emotional pain you are feeling. Try to stay strong and not loose hope. Don't let the fear get in the way of all the good times that you can have together.

    Take Care,
    Roger
  • amandab2010
    amandab2010 Member Posts: 4

    Hi Amanda
    So sorry to hear about your dad. If you will give us a bit more information perhaps there are some suggestions that the folks here can give you to suggest to your dad.

    What part of the country does he live in? Here we come from all locations and might have some thoughts on additional medical sources.

    You mention that he is stage 4, which implies he has mets to another organ...perhaps liver or lung? Folks here have delt with both and may have some suggestions for him to discuss with his doctors.

    We will try to help all we can.

    Marie who loves kitties

    it has spread to his liver.
    it has spread to his liver. We live in Southern Vermont. I am not sure all the chemos he has done. He is doing a 3rd type of chemo right now. He has done radiation and that didn't help at all. He had surgery in October of 2009. After that he started his first chemo. I will find out more tonight about what chemo he is on right now.
  • luvmum
    luvmum Member Posts: 457 Member
    Hi Amanda
    I'm so sorry about your dad, I found this site very useful and I'm sure you will receive support and useful information here.

    Best wishes to you and your dad!
  • r2424243
    r2424243 Member Posts: 51
    Same situation
    Amanda- wow, it sounds like we are in very very similar situations. I post for my dad all the time. He has stage 4 colon cancer that spread to the liver and is 61 years old. Surgery and radiation were not an option for him. He was diagnosed in oct 2010. I was scared to death when I found out. Some of the stuff online was suggesting he only had weeks to live. Im hear to tell ya, since then I have done TONS of research and gotten alot of info from this site. The 12 month thing is BS. They told my dad average for colon cancer is 23 months but my dads oncologist has one guy our dads age that has been going strong for 10+ years. I think the 12-23 months thing is way outdated. Chemo is really tough, it is wiping my dad out. He does not have a great quality of life right now. He sits on the couch 98% of the time watching tv. But his tumors are responding and shrinking. I pray everynight and I believe he will get better. There are so many cases of people living longer lives with this! It is not cureable but that doesnt mean they cant shrink it to nothing and maintain it from there. I live near Chicago. Maybe we can keep in touch and help our dads by comparing once in awhile. I will keep your dad in my prayers too. I really believe that can beat this and be able to live with it. If you get a chance, let me know more about how your dad is feeling. Is he up and about? Hang in there.


    Kim
  • jordanx
    jordanx Member Posts: 1
    r2424243 said:

    Same situation
    Amanda- wow, it sounds like we are in very very similar situations. I post for my dad all the time. He has stage 4 colon cancer that spread to the liver and is 61 years old. Surgery and radiation were not an option for him. He was diagnosed in oct 2010. I was scared to death when I found out. Some of the stuff online was suggesting he only had weeks to live. Im hear to tell ya, since then I have done TONS of research and gotten alot of info from this site. The 12 month thing is BS. They told my dad average for colon cancer is 23 months but my dads oncologist has one guy our dads age that has been going strong for 10+ years. I think the 12-23 months thing is way outdated. Chemo is really tough, it is wiping my dad out. He does not have a great quality of life right now. He sits on the couch 98% of the time watching tv. But his tumors are responding and shrinking. I pray everynight and I believe he will get better. There are so many cases of people living longer lives with this! It is not cureable but that doesnt mean they cant shrink it to nothing and maintain it from there. I live near Chicago. Maybe we can keep in touch and help our dads by comparing once in awhile. I will keep your dad in my prayers too. I really believe that can beat this and be able to live with it. If you get a chance, let me know more about how your dad is feeling. Is he up and about? Hang in there.


    Kim

    father has same condition
    father has same condition with metastasis to the spleen. Would greatly appreciate if anyone could refer me to any good sources/references/contacts/people/places to help family cope this condition.
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    Amanda –
    Before you give up, take a look at this facility, and suggest it to your dad.

    My mother had very little time according to her prognosis for lung cancer,
    but lived another 17 years beyond that prognosis.

    http://www.umassmemorial.org/MedicalCenterIP.cfm?id=5956

    Good luck, and best wishes!

    John
  • GaryinUK
    GaryinUK Member Posts: 62
    John23 said:

    Amanda –
    Before you give up, take a look at this facility, and suggest it to your dad.

    My mother had very little time according to her prognosis for lung cancer,
    but lived another 17 years beyond that prognosis.

    http://www.umassmemorial.org/MedicalCenterIP.cfm?id=5956

    Good luck, and best wishes!

    John

    Just what the doctor did not order
    Amanda & Jordan

    You are in the right place for advice and support, the people here are full of it, you will also reading differing opinions but the main thing to remember is ...Do not give up, or let the person you love know how worried you are as they will feed off your anxiety.

    Listen, support, love, never let them go to see any kind of doctor alone.

    I could suggest alternative options, then I suggest you use them in the search field to find the different threads so that you can see what people have said before.

    My partner is just 33, we are now in month 21 since diagnoses, no regular treatment taking place as it was not working, so consider -
    Modified Citrus Pectin - read about it
    Essiac Tea - read about it
    Green Tea - lots of it
    Melatonin - sleep help and maybe more
    Clinical Trials - warning, be careful
    Shakra - working wonders for my partner
    Juicing - many people on here with recipes
    TCM - traditional Chinese Medicine - pete4lostatsea (i think it is) is an expert

    Today there is a small article in a UK paper that a woman cured herself of BC by positive mind, many on here will say there is something in this, other not, read, read and read.

    Regards
    Gary
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    Hi Amanda
    Hi Amanda,

    Welcome to this site- people are very caring and helpful here.
    I'm sorry about your dad- cancer is always lousy and never plays fair. BUT, even though the doctor gave your dad a year's prognosis, doesn't mean that it's actually going to happen that way. I was diagnosed as stage IV with lots of tumors in my liver and both lungs back in August 2007. I'm still here, still stage IV with tumors in my liver and lungs, but I'm hanging in there. I had just turned 41 when I was diagnosed, will be turning 45 in 2 months, and you know- I do think I'll be here when I turn 50- maybe and hopefully even beyond! I have 3 kids, now ages 18, 15, & 11, as well as a husband who really want me to stick around! I have been blessed in that my body has still stayed strong and I'm still able to do most of what I did before my diagnosis (other than I no longer work and I get tired out pretty easily). I'm also doing holistic/alternative treatments in addition to the chemo. Especially started realizing when I was told by my onc about a year and a half ago that "cure" wasn't expected. I'm not one to take that lying down- I may go down eventually, but it won't be without a fight or without doing everything I possibly can to fight it! It's been close to a year that I've been taking additional herbal supplements that I found by researching such things online. It's just been since February that I've actually been under the care of a naturopathic doctor. Google "naturopath" and "naturopathic doctor" to find a little information out. Even if your dad's onc says "no other supplements" or that he doesn't believe in that stuff, if he's the one saying "12 months or less", then I don't think he's the one to listen to- don't decide to just let him accept that fate, as it possibly doesn't have to be his fate! You need to find some information to give him hope and a will to fight! If you'd like anymore information, please feel free to send me a PM (private message), and I will be glad to list out many of the supplements I take and a little more about finding a naturopathic doctor for your dad.

    Take care, my dear!
    Hugs,
    Lisa
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    GaryinUK said:

    Just what the doctor did not order
    Amanda & Jordan

    You are in the right place for advice and support, the people here are full of it, you will also reading differing opinions but the main thing to remember is ...Do not give up, or let the person you love know how worried you are as they will feed off your anxiety.

    Listen, support, love, never let them go to see any kind of doctor alone.

    I could suggest alternative options, then I suggest you use them in the search field to find the different threads so that you can see what people have said before.

    My partner is just 33, we are now in month 21 since diagnoses, no regular treatment taking place as it was not working, so consider -
    Modified Citrus Pectin - read about it
    Essiac Tea - read about it
    Green Tea - lots of it
    Melatonin - sleep help and maybe more
    Clinical Trials - warning, be careful
    Shakra - working wonders for my partner
    Juicing - many people on here with recipes
    TCM - traditional Chinese Medicine - pete4lostatsea (i think it is) is an expert

    Today there is a small article in a UK paper that a woman cured herself of BC by positive mind, many on here will say there is something in this, other not, read, read and read.

    Regards
    Gary

    The general word is Don't take antioxidants/green tea while undergoing chemo or radiation.

    Chemo and radiation work by oxidizing the tumor; anti-oxidants such as green tea, counter the effects of the treatments. What's good for the healthy cells is also good for the cancer cells. My information is from the Memorial Sloan Kettering website - Integrative Medicine, botanicals in cancer.

    If you are in treatment, don't take anything without consulting your oncologist first. When done with treatment (chemo, rads) then antioxidants, green tea, etc. are very good for you.
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    Amanda
    I am sorry for what your Dad is going through. Saying he "may" have 12 months left is different than saying he "has" 12 months left. Everyone is not cured, but many live for a long time with the disease.