Dear Kelly H and Liz.......Moms

Lisa13Q
Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
Dear Kelly and Liz,

Thanks for your well wishes and thoughts about my mother....yes, I am ecstatic and want to offer some hope and optimism to you about your Moms.....The news we received yesterday was the first decent news we have heard in this 2 year journey.....The first.....Do not give up hope.....and remember, even when it seems that your mothers may be giving up, they may just be having a down day.....As much as we love our mothers, I realize that I can NEVER understand how mine is feeling, and she has every reason to be down, it's part of the process...here she is getting the best news in the past 2 years, and she says to me she feels so awful that she's not sure she wants to take Taxol anymore....even though it's working? REally!!!!!! OMG....I am learning slowly, to take this one hour at a time (i'm not always good at it)....when i heard she had a 1.5 inch tumor in her liver (I learned this January), I spent 2 months being angry and nasty, and had to take a break from the board because I couldn't be supportive of anyone.....then I read LindaProcoprio, and her posts began to bring me back from the brink of despair.....I am accepting more that Mom is very ill, and probably will never be cured, so I better damn well enjoy every moment I get with her.....and you know what else, our whole family has begun to accept it....and you can too....You will be ok......and no matter what happens our Mom's are going to be able to deal with it too....try to just "be" with them....as hard as that is sometimes, and trust me, I get it.....I think they just really need people to "be" with them.....You all will get through this, no matter what the outcome....before, our call yesterday from the doctor, she felt so bad, I thought we were near the end.....and you know what, it was ok...I am sorry for what you are going through, and your sadness...and my heart is with you....Love, Lisa

Comments

  • Mum2bellaandwilliam
    Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412
    Thank you Lisa, it is sp
    Thank you Lisa, it is sp difficult, I have found a lot more peace with this journey that we are on ,to start with I was frantic. I spent months with a huge sore on my face ( always get them when I am run down or stressed) I spent hours online desperate to find something that might help and researching as much as I could about this beast.
    I have learnt that there is no point in worrying , ( i still do but not nearly as much) what will be will be, no one can change that , and I have to be strong for mum. I still shed tears now and then , and not a day goes by when it is not on my mind.
    It is so encouraging to hear your mums good news after 2. Years of bad news it gives us hope that things will get better!!!

    (( hugs)) Liz xxx
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    Thanks
    Dear Lisa,
    Thank you for your note. It is nice to know others are thinking of my mom too. Your letter gives me hope that just maybe my mom will get some good news at some point too.
    You are right, I will never truly understand how difficult and scary this is for my mom. I want to enjoy the time i have with her unfortunately she is so upset all the time she is unable to enjoy life at all. Her appointment with the mental health nurse on Wednesday went very well. Monday she meets with the psychariast to review all her meds so i am hoping she can find some relief soon. I know my mom will never be cured, we have been told that by three oncologists but I would like her to find some inner peace.
    Thanks again. It truly means a lot.
    Kelly
  • Cindy54
    Cindy54 Member Posts: 452
    Lisa, I was once where you
    Lisa, I was once where you are. Yes, there was a lot of anger and tears. And frustration. But towards the end of Mom's journey, I began to relax and just be with her. The world went on without us and I didn't care. I had to realize that our time was limited and the dishes and the phone calls could wait. At the end there was a lot of sadness, but also very much peace. I wish you that same peace Lisa. Thank you so much for sharing yourself. Hugs, Cindy
  • Lisa13Q
    Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
    Cindy54 said:

    Lisa, I was once where you
    Lisa, I was once where you are. Yes, there was a lot of anger and tears. And frustration. But towards the end of Mom's journey, I began to relax and just be with her. The world went on without us and I didn't care. I had to realize that our time was limited and the dishes and the phone calls could wait. At the end there was a lot of sadness, but also very much peace. I wish you that same peace Lisa. Thank you so much for sharing yourself. Hugs, Cindy

    Thanks Cindy
    I'm getting there...slowly.....I am a professor and handed my class over to a colleague for the next 2 weeks so I can be with my mother....I think you are right, if I do everything I can right now, then there will be peace with the sadness, but I will know I did everything I could...also, I think my mother is beginning to accept her reality as well....that's nice to see...
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    what a loving thread
    What a loving thread this has become. Like all of you, I put my life on hold for the last two years to be there for my mother through surgeries, chemos, infections, and the list goes on. She's slowly losing ground now, but I feel at peace because I know I did everything I could and have always been there for her. These days Mom and I talk openly about death, and I reassure her that I will always take care of her, and that she won't be alone.

    Hang in there, sisters. It hasn't been easy, but we did it. What's right around the corner may be dark and scary, but we've already made enought light to see us through.