disability

greybeard64
greybeard64 Member Posts: 254
in Colorectal Cancer #1
It is official, the powers that be have dicided that I am disabled. While I am happy that it will relieve some of the burden I have placed on my wife /family through this battle, it also hurts. I know I shouldnt look at it like "I" caused the problem it was the disease but I cant help that and thats not the issue here.

I was raised to believe that a mans work was a direct reflection on him. It wasnt what your job was, your title or position where irrelevant. it didnt matter if I was sweeping floors in the local Masonic lodge or signing off an Airworthiness Release for a regional airliner, your work ethic and the pride you took in having a job and doing it well was what mattered.

I got my first job delivering papers when I was fourteen, my bike lasted one week and I continued delivering those papers on foot. Since that time, excluding high school years, I have worked full time if not more. I am 46 years old, and despite what my grandkids might say that is not old!

And yet here I sit. The letter from SSI on the desk in front of me. I realize that a piece of paper does not literaly hold the power of determining in my own mind whether I am disabled or not. So do I feel disabled, if I answer that honestly I would have to say yes, but in this instance honesty is not the best policy when it comes to my mental state.

I guess I needed to post this because I dont know that others would understand as well as some of you might. I am happy for the financial relief, I dont feel guilty or undeserving of this assistance I get all that. At the same time it feels like someone hit me in the gut.

thanks for letting me share

greybeard
«1

Comments

  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member
    #2
    Hey Chris!!...
    Good to hear from you...been a while...and I have missed you!!! You know...just because you are on disability does not mean you cannot work. You are still able to draw an income but it has to stay in the guidelines. You can only make so much per week so it don't effect your SSDA benefits. They told me I could make as much as I wanted the first 9 months of disability but then income would be restricted to a certain amount. I LOVE getting disability.... why not?...you earned it! So go get a part time job if you think that will give you some self satisfaction and ENJOY your free time. And yes...you are a YOUNG man!!!!! So good to see your mug again!! Take care....

    Jennie
  • Love2Cats
    Love2Cats Member Posts: 127
    #3
    I earned every penny
    Hi there, I am 47 and have worked full time since the age of 17. I look at all the money that Soc. Security/Disability had deducted from my paychecks over the years, and even if I am lucky enough to live another 5 years, they still will have made money off of me. It is money that I earned. Not to mention all the money that I put into Medicare, which I will never be able to collect because of the assests I have.

    I have always been the breadwinner in the family. It is a bit boring not being able to work (No way I can work on chemo weeks).

    I am grateful that there is a Social Security/Disability fund, and I don't feel bad about using it, because that is what it is designed for, and I need the money to support my family and pay my medical bills.

    I umderstand how you feel about taking pride in working, but you earned your disability pay. Also, you would work if you could, so don't be hard on yourself, for something that is entirely not your fault.

    Take care,

    Sandy
  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
    #4
    No More Job
    Greybeard,

    I can totally understand where you are coming from. My reasons for not working are not related to illness. I retired after 40 years with the telephone company. They decided to move my department out of state or I would still be working and probably keel over at my desk someday. At first, it was like being on an extended vacation. Then the stock market mess happened and I kissed my retirement funds goodbye. I find now that I search for jobs, although I was very good at my job, that technology and the new corporate America have passed me by. It makes you feel really useless and that may be what you are feeling.

    Do not feel that way. Many times things happen that are way beyond your control and no matter how hard you try, you can't change them. My husband has been disabled from diabetes and bad heart for 15 years. It is still sometimes hard for him to accept that he can't work as a precision heliarc welder for many reasons, but we do the best we can with what we have. Johnnybegood(my daughter) has been unable to work since her diagnosis. As hard as she tries, there are many work functions she could not perform. So as many others have stated, you all put in a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to earn this early retirement whether it be disability or not.

    AND YOU ARE NOT USELESS.

    Best of luck,

    Wolfen
  • tanker sgv
    tanker sgv Member Posts: 124
    #5
    "Your only as good as your last days work"
    I get that and what your are saying is true. As men putting in a good days work and doing every job to the best of your ability is at the core of what gives us pride. we take honor in knowing that there is food on the table and bills are paid because we are proud hard working men who take joy in the smiles of our family, so without pride we lose our since of honor and joy.i remember my first job painting house numbers on curbs. my dad bought me the paint and showed me how to do it, he tought me "how to fish" so to speak. at 12 years old i leard to buget profits for materials, and saving for the future. i as learned that by painting the wheelchair ladys curb for free was called a cherritable tax deduction...lol. heres the shocker im not in my 30s or 40s im 27. my genaration has lost that value of what being a proud working man really is, my peers all drive fancy cars and do little work for a big paycheck. they dont understand that i dropped out at 14 to work so i can take care of my mom after my pops died. so i say stay proud and pass that value onto your grandkids. if there young build them some shelfs for there rooms or a toy chest and sit them in the garage while u do it, something bought is replaceable something made is one of a kind filled with memories and ir-replaceable. be creative with ways u might pass on a dieing value maybe even volunteer at the ymca to teach theese young men a life skill. if it wasnt like proud men like you and my dad to show us "youngsters" the way i personally would be lost in the heart ache that has occured in my life. sorry for the long post so i will end it with saying thank you for reminding me as i write this how much of a proud man my father was and that i too am a proud working man.
  • greybeard64
    greybeard64 Member Posts: 254
    #6
    Love2Cats said:

    I earned every penny
    Hi there, I am 47 and have worked full time since the age of 17. I look at all the money that Soc. Security/Disability had deducted from my paychecks over the years, and even if I am lucky enough to live another 5 years, they still will have made money off of me. It is money that I earned. Not to mention all the money that I put into Medicare, which I will never be able to collect because of the assests I have.

    I have always been the breadwinner in the family. It is a bit boring not being able to work (No way I can work on chemo weeks).

    I am grateful that there is a Social Security/Disability fund, and I don't feel bad about using it, because that is what it is designed for, and I need the money to support my family and pay my medical bills.

    I umderstand how you feel about taking pride in working, but you earned your disability pay. Also, you would work if you could, so don't be hard on yourself, for something that is entirely not your fault.

    Take care,

    Sandy

    Thx
    Thanks you two. and I agree completely. I am not saying that I dont deserve or warrant this money. I believe like you both do, I earned that, and I am blessed to live in a country that at least at one point decided we should try to look out for each other. I should have wrote I never imagined being in this position a very short time ago and it amazes me still that I find myself there now. I just never in my wildest imagination saw this, and I find myself amazed.

    Jennie, it has been to long, good to hear from you. hope the obstruction issue has been resolved. I am going to find out what I am allowed to do and then see what I can find that will fit into all those parameters plus my own. Might be interesting to see where this all leads...I could find a whole new career?
    oh and why no pic of that red hair, :).

    Sandy, thanks for the affirmation. ( I always wanted to use that term since "stewart smally" on SNL) seriously though I agree with you completely and aprreciate you saying it. It is really no more then insurance, I paid my deductable so to speak. kind of like a life ins. policy glad you have it but hate to see it cashed!

    Chris
  • Buckwirth
    Buckwirth Member Posts: 1,258 Member
    #7
    Love2Cats said:

    I earned every penny
    Hi there, I am 47 and have worked full time since the age of 17. I look at all the money that Soc. Security/Disability had deducted from my paychecks over the years, and even if I am lucky enough to live another 5 years, they still will have made money off of me. It is money that I earned. Not to mention all the money that I put into Medicare, which I will never be able to collect because of the assests I have.

    I have always been the breadwinner in the family. It is a bit boring not being able to work (No way I can work on chemo weeks).

    I am grateful that there is a Social Security/Disability fund, and I don't feel bad about using it, because that is what it is designed for, and I need the money to support my family and pay my medical bills.

    I umderstand how you feel about taking pride in working, but you earned your disability pay. Also, you would work if you could, so don't be hard on yourself, for something that is entirely not your fault.

    Take care,

    Sandy

    Medicare is not asset based
    You are thinking of Medcaid

    If you got SSDI you qualify for Medicare 24 months later. You just need to live that long.
  • greybeard64
    greybeard64 Member Posts: 254
    #8
    tanker sgv said:

    "Your only as good as your last days work"
    I get that and what your are saying is true. As men putting in a good days work and doing every job to the best of your ability is at the core of what gives us pride. we take honor in knowing that there is food on the table and bills are paid because we are proud hard working men who take joy in the smiles of our family, so without pride we lose our since of honor and joy.i remember my first job painting house numbers on curbs. my dad bought me the paint and showed me how to do it, he tought me "how to fish" so to speak. at 12 years old i leard to buget profits for materials, and saving for the future. i as learned that by painting the wheelchair ladys curb for free was called a cherritable tax deduction...lol. heres the shocker im not in my 30s or 40s im 27. my genaration has lost that value of what being a proud working man really is, my peers all drive fancy cars and do little work for a big paycheck. they dont understand that i dropped out at 14 to work so i can take care of my mom after my pops died. so i say stay proud and pass that value onto your grandkids. if there young build them some shelfs for there rooms or a toy chest and sit them in the garage while u do it, something bought is replaceable something made is one of a kind filled with memories and ir-replaceable. be creative with ways u might pass on a dieing value maybe even volunteer at the ymca to teach theese young men a life skill. if it wasnt like proud men like you and my dad to show us "youngsters" the way i personally would be lost in the heart ache that has occured in my life. sorry for the long post so i will end it with saying thank you for reminding me as i write this how much of a proud man my father was and that i too am a proud working man.

    Thats it!!!
    you hit it tanker and thank you.

    I have a job again, it's as a teacher.

    I think my wife and I were as successful with that message with our girls as your folks seem to have been with you.

    But dont be to hard on your generation, it's a well known secret that no matter the time period the younger generation has always had it easier and didnt respect things as much as the generation before them in the eyes of those who are older. Now that is not to say that there isnt some truth to that. My generation and every generation before that had its share of slackers and ne'er do wells. On the same hand you arent the only one in your generation who believes in hard work and honor.

    I believe, and I passed this on to my daughters. The only thing in your life you have complete control over is your honor. No one or nothing can take that away from you, only you can give it away.

    sometimes it just takes someone to put things into perspective for you. so thanks Tanker SGV your a good man, and I know your folks (especialy your Dad) are smiling!!
  • greybeard64
    greybeard64 Member Posts: 254
    #9
    Buckwirth said:

    Medicare is not asset based
    You are thinking of Medcaid

    If you got SSDI you qualify for Medicare 24 months later. You just need to live that long.

    good to know
    Well I might as well hang around for that. LOL
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #10
    Not a time to relax
    Well, okay, sit back and relax for a bit, then get busy with other wonderful things. I'm going to college now, volunteering one day a week at the homeless shelter, a couple of hours to the Western Workers Association (they help field workers) and hopefully a day a week at my attorney's office, since I only go to school Monday through Thursday.
    I also babysit my grandson on Wednesdays when his parents are at college in the evening, plus most evenings while they are at the gym working out. On occasions I preform wedding ceremonies, I have one this Saturday, and will be doing my son's wedding next Saturday on the 26th. I hadn't realized not working was so much work!!!!
    Winter Marie
    Oh and forgot the Relay for Life, Team Captain
  • trspitfire
    trspitfire Member Posts: 19
    #11
    disability
    I find myself in a similar situation and attitude, I've worked every day since I was 12 yrs old,(yeah morning paper route ) now 51 and 30 years with the same company I am running out of short term benefits and am applying for the long term disability,
    I am actually going back to work next week but have no idea if I can handle it on chemo, the company said better apply earlier rather than later as it can take a long time(I started with the online form today, they want to know when I was hospitalized holy cow can't I just put in lots and lots) its tough to think of being "labeled" disabled but its what we must do to support the family if nothing else, remember we have paid into this system all our working lives and considering my prognosis, well, its likely they will make a nice little profit off me (as another reader had described )
    I was told by other members that soc sec moves a bit faster for those of us in this situation (stage 4 colon cancer with mets to the liver ) how long did it take to be approved ?
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #12
    trspitfire said:

    disability
    I find myself in a similar situation and attitude, I've worked every day since I was 12 yrs old,(yeah morning paper route ) now 51 and 30 years with the same company I am running out of short term benefits and am applying for the long term disability,
    I am actually going back to work next week but have no idea if I can handle it on chemo, the company said better apply earlier rather than later as it can take a long time(I started with the online form today, they want to know when I was hospitalized holy cow can't I just put in lots and lots) its tough to think of being "labeled" disabled but its what we must do to support the family if nothing else, remember we have paid into this system all our working lives and considering my prognosis, well, its likely they will make a nice little profit off me (as another reader had described )
    I was told by other members that soc sec moves a bit faster for those of us in this situation (stage 4 colon cancer with mets to the liver ) how long did it take to be approved ?

    Spitfire
    It took 20 days for me to get qualified and check came the next month. I too started working at 12 at my dad's shop, then went to work at the Totem Drive Inn when I was 14, had worked until cancer.
    does the trspitfire mean you are a lover of the Triumphs? I have a 69 Spitfire in my garage. I love my little Spitfire.
    Winter Marie
  • trspitfire
    trspitfire Member Posts: 19
    #13
    herdizziness said:

    Spitfire
    It took 20 days for me to get qualified and check came the next month. I too started working at 12 at my dad's shop, then went to work at the Totem Drive Inn when I was 14, had worked until cancer.
    does the trspitfire mean you are a lover of the Triumphs? I have a 69 Spitfire in my garage. I love my little Spitfire.
    Winter Marie

    disability /spitfire
    yes I've had several (5), and my favorite was my 1969 mk III has the nice rounded back end with a good looking hood and nose, I had the engine from my 70 in there but kept the dual carbs, I was suprised the user name spitfire was already in use so I added the TR ...easiest cars I ever worked on, but always leaned to one side till later models (newer1500 models)I will add a pict to my profile
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #14
    trspitfire said:

    disability /spitfire
    yes I've had several (5), and my favorite was my 1969 mk III has the nice rounded back end with a good looking hood and nose, I had the engine from my 70 in there but kept the dual carbs, I was suprised the user name spitfire was already in use so I added the TR ...easiest cars I ever worked on, but always leaned to one side till later models (newer1500 models)I will add a pict to my profile

    Ahh
    We had the same car, LOL,(I still have mine) 69 Spitfire Mk III, mines on jacks getting her new suspension. Rear end is on, doing front end, plus new brake system. I'm asking for a brand new wiring set for her for my birthday this month.
    Used to have a TR4 and TR6 in a divorce long ago, he got those two and I took the Spit. She's still original yellow paint job, going to be a silver color someday.
    Winter Marie
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    #15
    herdizziness said:

    Ahh
    We had the same car, LOL,(I still have mine) 69 Spitfire Mk III, mines on jacks getting her new suspension. Rear end is on, doing front end, plus new brake system. I'm asking for a brand new wiring set for her for my birthday this month.
    Used to have a TR4 and TR6 in a divorce long ago, he got those two and I took the Spit. She's still original yellow paint job, going to be a silver color someday.
    Winter Marie

    I got total disability since january ,for ever and Tax free!
    I ask what's the maximum amount for disability in the US?.
    Here is About 3000€/ month free tax , free medicines , free public services, and probably a parking place on the street near home.LOL.
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #16
    pepebcn said:

    I got total disability since january ,for ever and Tax free!
    I ask what's the maximum amount for disability in the US?.
    Here is About 3000€/ month free tax , free medicines , free public services, and probably a parking place on the street near home.LOL.

    LOL
    Well, mine sure as heck isn't as much as yours. Less then half that. Pay co-pay on medicines, my Xeloda co-pay is $431.28, no free public services. Hmmm, should of been born in Spain!!! LOL.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #17
    Sorry
    I'm sorry you're feeling a bit out of whack because of this. I understand it's part of the male psyche, but you could NOT help this. It was not your will or anything you did. It just happened to you.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Buckwirth
    Buckwirth Member Posts: 1,258 Member
    #18
    herdizziness said:

    LOL
    Well, mine sure as heck isn't as much as yours. Less then half that. Pay co-pay on medicines, my Xeloda co-pay is $431.28, no free public services. Hmmm, should of been born in Spain!!! LOL.

    Pepe wants
    A conservative government so he can pay what we do here! ;)

    Just kidding Pepe!
  • greybeard64
    greybeard64 Member Posts: 254
    #19
    trspitfire said:

    disability
    I find myself in a similar situation and attitude, I've worked every day since I was 12 yrs old,(yeah morning paper route ) now 51 and 30 years with the same company I am running out of short term benefits and am applying for the long term disability,
    I am actually going back to work next week but have no idea if I can handle it on chemo, the company said better apply earlier rather than later as it can take a long time(I started with the online form today, they want to know when I was hospitalized holy cow can't I just put in lots and lots) its tough to think of being "labeled" disabled but its what we must do to support the family if nothing else, remember we have paid into this system all our working lives and considering my prognosis, well, its likely they will make a nice little profit off me (as another reader had described )
    I was told by other members that soc sec moves a bit faster for those of us in this situation (stage 4 colon cancer with mets to the liver ) how long did it take to be approved ?

    about 3 months
    Part of that was the length of time it took me to fill out the paper work. As you said, cant I just put ALOT. thanks for the words, spitfire

    chris
  • AncientTiger
    AncientTiger Member Posts: 130
    #20
    greybeard64 said:

    Thats it!!!
    you hit it tanker and thank you.

    I have a job again, it's as a teacher.

    I think my wife and I were as successful with that message with our girls as your folks seem to have been with you.

    But dont be to hard on your generation, it's a well known secret that no matter the time period the younger generation has always had it easier and didnt respect things as much as the generation before them in the eyes of those who are older. Now that is not to say that there isnt some truth to that. My generation and every generation before that had its share of slackers and ne'er do wells. On the same hand you arent the only one in your generation who believes in hard work and honor.

    I believe, and I passed this on to my daughters. The only thing in your life you have complete control over is your honor. No one or nothing can take that away from you, only you can give it away.

    sometimes it just takes someone to put things into perspective for you. so thanks Tanker SGV your a good man, and I know your folks (especialy your Dad) are smiling!!

    Absolutely understand where you're coming from
    But you also must remember the first and most important job a man has... his family.

    I'm just a few years younger than you greybeard, still a lot of gunpowder under the hood and not even thinking about retirement yet, but after this past year, and potentially more battles down the road, it really got me to thinking about things. What if the 3+ months I was off work turned into 6 months.. a year.. the rest of my life? Like you, the thought of being on disability was disheartening.

    But then I realized... I wouldn't be jobless. I'd just have a shift in careers, a "transfer" if you like. Instead of going into an office and putting in 8 hours, I would put in about 16 hours in my "home office". During that work period, I would clean, help with repairs, homework, cooking, etc. Guaranteed, the job would be a LOT tougher than a "regular" job, but it would be even MORE rewarding.

    A MAN isn't only measured by his job... he's measured by his children and how they influence the world around them. He's measured by the impact he has on friends and family. And how he conducts himself in the community he lives in.

    In the grand scheme of things, a regular job is a paycheck. The things that REALLY matter are your family and your friends ;)

    Just my 3 cents worth... best of luck in your new career as a teacher. That's a noble profession!!!
  • greybeard64
    greybeard64 Member Posts: 254
    #21
    tootsie1 said:

    Sorry
    I'm sorry you're feeling a bit out of whack because of this. I understand it's part of the male psyche, but you could NOT help this. It was not your will or anything you did. It just happened to you.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Thx all
    I'll get there, as far as dealing with this, just strange to find myself in this situation.

    Today I am going to figure out a game plan. I was up last night thinking, imagine that, about where I will go from here so to speak. why is it when ya lay down to sleep, your mind suddenly wants to start working overtime, LOL.

    anyway I came up with a few ideas, I'll let you know how they pan out. I am giving myself a one month time table to fill in the blanks and decide what I am going to pursue. I will find a niche for myself, I always have, why should this change anything, right.

    again thx for all the kind words and support. I knew by posting I would get exactly what I received from you all. a wonderful group of people have come through with warm thoughts and the proper perspective on all of this. you all are great!!!!

    chris

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