a little low...hair falling out..not a good weekend

cathg
cathg Member Posts: 21
This weekend was particulary hard. Went to an awesome U2 concert on Friday, but felt quite removed from all the fun...extra tired and so conscious of my hair. My scalp has been quite painful and hair started falling out after 3rd chemo on tuesday...

It is amazing how many people (with the greatest of good intentions) comment that it will grow back...but what a sentence..indefinable time..when? what will it look like? how am I going to manage the stares and awkwardness?

In two minds to shave it all off. I thought my labrador was bad with shedding..ha ha!

Anyone got some tips, encouragement...how long after last chemo does it generally take to grow back?

Today I can generally say..a bad day..feel like a scarred landscape...but thank goodness for tomorrow. New mercies.
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Comments

  • marilyndbk
    marilyndbk Member Posts: 238 Member
    hang in there
    Hang in there and take care of yourself. Do something just for you. We are stronger than we think. Sending positive thoughts and prayers. Marilyn
  • simplygrace
    simplygrace Member Posts: 10
    I'm sorry to hear that
    I'm sorry to hear that you're having a bad weekend. When mine started to fall out about a month ago I made it into something I could finally control. I shaved my head and it felt so liberating! As for worrying about people staring at you, I have to honestly say that I haven't really gotten that. Most people are just fine with the way you look. I've been wearing scarfs and hats. I refused to get a wig because I can't stand wearing anything on my head in the first place. But I think you'll find most people won't really care that you don't have hair.

    I hope your days get better

    Amy
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member

    I'm sorry to hear that
    I'm sorry to hear that you're having a bad weekend. When mine started to fall out about a month ago I made it into something I could finally control. I shaved my head and it felt so liberating! As for worrying about people staring at you, I have to honestly say that I haven't really gotten that. Most people are just fine with the way you look. I've been wearing scarfs and hats. I refused to get a wig because I can't stand wearing anything on my head in the first place. But I think you'll find most people won't really care that you don't have hair.

    I hope your days get better

    Amy

    I remember this being so
    I remember this being so tough. when I was certain my hair would come out, I just buzzed it. did not wait for it to start falling out in clumps. My husband kept urging me to do it, before I was ready. (he was worried I would have a hard time) but I did it when I was ready and didnt cry.
    I am a reserved person and do not like attention, but I got used to the scarf and really didnt think about it. I wasnt as confident as some ladies here to go bald , but I was suprised how soon I grew used to it. I rarely wore my wig.
    I went topless after about 5 months but only because the top did not grow in the way I liked. My hair is slow growing. Trust me you will sort this out and it will be ok, then when your hair is growing back you can support a newbie, and be amazed on how you got through it.
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    We're all different!
    The fact is - it will grow back! There is no exact timeline or how it will grow back BUT it will grow back. Son used the clipper on my head - then he and several friends used the clippers on their head - a couple of people I didn't even really know at the barn also did it in support. It was into 8 months after first Chemo before I got any hair on head back (lashes and brows started coming back while on Rads) - other body hair (over a year post Chemo and almost a year post Rads.) is still very limited.

    We're all different!

    Susan
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    Rague said:

    We're all different!
    The fact is - it will grow back! There is no exact timeline or how it will grow back BUT it will grow back. Son used the clipper on my head - then he and several friends used the clippers on their head - a couple of people I didn't even really know at the barn also did it in support. It was into 8 months after first Chemo before I got any hair on head back (lashes and brows started coming back while on Rads) - other body hair (over a year post Chemo and almost a year post Rads.) is still very limited.

    We're all different!

    Susan

    For me "other" body hair
    For me "other" body hair fell out first and came in first. I was taking a bath and thought "go figure!"
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member

    I'm sorry to hear that
    I'm sorry to hear that you're having a bad weekend. When mine started to fall out about a month ago I made it into something I could finally control. I shaved my head and it felt so liberating! As for worrying about people staring at you, I have to honestly say that I haven't really gotten that. Most people are just fine with the way you look. I've been wearing scarfs and hats. I refused to get a wig because I can't stand wearing anything on my head in the first place. But I think you'll find most people won't really care that you don't have hair.

    I hope your days get better

    Amy

    Losing your hair makes it real
    Or at least it did for me. I did shave my head to spare myself the trauma of watching it fall out. I always (and still do) wear a hat or scarf but I still see myself in the mirror without hair and even though I'm done with treatments and feel wonderful, my image always takes me back and reminds me that I had chemo and why.

    Sorry you're having a hard time this weekend. I think we've all been there and it sure isn't fun.

    You're going to be without your hair for quite a while because it doesn't grow back immediately. In my case, it's very sparse, but I understand it will fill in. I did not get a wig and it's only been recently that I've thought maybe I would feel better if I had one now. I made wearing my scarves and hats "fashion", but this being without hair thing is really getting old now. It's been almost 7 months since I lost it and the way it looks now, it will be at least another 2-3 before I will be comfortable going topless. That being said, I have a good friend who finished chemo 3 weeks before me and has had 2 haircuts and looks wonderful.

    I hope you'll soon feel better. Be sure to check in here. Lots of good advice for coping.

    Suzanne
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    carkris said:

    For me "other" body hair
    For me "other" body hair fell out first and came in first. I was taking a bath and thought "go figure!"

    On A/C, 'other' body hair
    On A/C, 'other' body hair was not effected, only about 1/2 of lashes and brows left, all head hair did. As soon as I started Taxol everything that was still there left after the first infusion.

    Susan
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    carkris said:

    For me "other" body hair
    For me "other" body hair fell out first and came in first. I was taking a bath and thought "go figure!"

    On A/C, 'other' body hair
    On A/C, 'other' body hair was not effected, only about 1/2 of lashes and brows left, all head hair did. As soon as I started Taxol everything that was still there left after the first infusion.

    Susan
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    carkris said:

    For me "other" body hair
    For me "other" body hair fell out first and came in first. I was taking a bath and thought "go figure!"

    On A/C, 'other' body hair
    On A/C, 'other' body hair was not effected, only about 1/2 of lashes and brows left, all head hair did. As soon as I started Taxol everything that was still there left after the first infusion.

    Susan
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    carkris said:

    For me "other" body hair
    For me "other" body hair fell out first and came in first. I was taking a bath and thought "go figure!"

    Ignore
    Ignore - double post
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    carkris said:

    For me "other" body hair
    For me "other" body hair fell out first and came in first. I was taking a bath and thought "go figure!"

    Sorry - triple post
    Ignore - triple post.
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    Rague said:

    Sorry - triple post
    Ignore - triple post.

    I hope you will be able to make peace with your hair
    Remember--it really is only temporary. My husband and I did a happy hour head shaving party--and laughed and really had fun with it. We took pictures at various stages of the procedure. I thought I would only want to wear wigs--but after trying 2 different ones--I felt like I had a dead animal on my head, so I opted for cool, colorful scarves. Much easier and I liked how I looked in them. I have to say, I had many, many people say how great I looked and encouraged me to fight the fight, but I never had anyone look at me with anything but goodness in their hearts. I think you might find this to be true too.

    Sorry you are having a hard time of it--I hope you will be able to change your thinking and embrace what a brave, strong, beautiful human being you are.

    I'm rooting for you!

    Hugs, Renee
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    missrenee said:

    I hope you will be able to make peace with your hair
    Remember--it really is only temporary. My husband and I did a happy hour head shaving party--and laughed and really had fun with it. We took pictures at various stages of the procedure. I thought I would only want to wear wigs--but after trying 2 different ones--I felt like I had a dead animal on my head, so I opted for cool, colorful scarves. Much easier and I liked how I looked in them. I have to say, I had many, many people say how great I looked and encouraged me to fight the fight, but I never had anyone look at me with anything but goodness in their hearts. I think you might find this to be true too.

    Sorry you are having a hard time of it--I hope you will be able to change your thinking and embrace what a brave, strong, beautiful human being you are.

    I'm rooting for you!

    Hugs, Renee

    agree with Renee no one
    agree with Renee no one evermademe feel bad, perhpas this is why I adjusted. Not that I LIKED it mind you, but I adjusted. Hugs you will get through this!!!
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    We women,
    if it's not weight, it's hair. That is a hard thing having your hair fall out so we totally understand what you're feeling.

    For me, it started growing back about 2 weeks after Chemo ended. I would have loved it to grow as fast as a Chia plant but that didn't happen. I used a wig for most of the time and it wasn't so bad. Everyone's different.

    Hoping you feel a bit bette :)

    Hugs to you,

    Sylvia
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    Hair
    CatG... mine fell out after my 1st chemo session. Day 16 to be exact. Your record is rather impressive.

    I know it's not easy but think of it this way... the chemo is working, it's doing its job. I shaved my head after it started coming out in clumps. My hairdresser came to my house and shaved it off. I had prepped myself as I knew it was going to happen... so when it finally did, it wasn't so traumatic for me. That's just me mind you. Everyone has their own experience.

    I wore a Steve Perry type wig until mine started to grow back. Some are comfortable doing without. It's all up to you. Do whatever floats your boat.

    Hang in there, you will get through it one step at a time. Best of luck on your journey. Take care, God bless.
    BL

    PS So GREAT you were able to see U2 in concert! I saw them years ago. They were fantastic!
  • PinkPearl
    PinkPearl Member Posts: 280
    Bad Hair Day
    All I can do is agree with you. I didn't really think I minded losing my hair until yesterday when I started to look like a really mangey dog.. Really!!!! I haven't shaved it yet though because I still have a little fringe and I like how it looks with my caps--sort of whispy like. I go for my second chemo tomorrow so probably will lose the whisps in a week or so. Plus my hair is sparse but it provides a little warmth when I want the cap off -only at home for me! I admire anyone who can go topless but it isn't for me unless I am alone at home for now. Maybe I will change my mind later.

    No one has really stared yet or asked anything but I am a pretty open person so I don't plan on letting it bother me. I've been wearing them around the house for a day or so and that is helping me feel more comfortable wearing something on my head \ it's becoming part of me now. So here is my little cheerleader "talk" to me and anyone it helps..." Put on your pretty smile, get involved with whatever you have to do and just go out there, it is what it is."
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
    PinkPearl said:

    Bad Hair Day
    All I can do is agree with you. I didn't really think I minded losing my hair until yesterday when I started to look like a really mangey dog.. Really!!!! I haven't shaved it yet though because I still have a little fringe and I like how it looks with my caps--sort of whispy like. I go for my second chemo tomorrow so probably will lose the whisps in a week or so. Plus my hair is sparse but it provides a little warmth when I want the cap off -only at home for me! I admire anyone who can go topless but it isn't for me unless I am alone at home for now. Maybe I will change my mind later.

    No one has really stared yet or asked anything but I am a pretty open person so I don't plan on letting it bother me. I've been wearing them around the house for a day or so and that is helping me feel more comfortable wearing something on my head \ it's becoming part of me now. So here is my little cheerleader "talk" to me and anyone it helps..." Put on your pretty smile, get involved with whatever you have to do and just go out there, it is what it is."

    I'm sorry your having a hard time
    I am sorry you are having a hard time with your hair falling out. I understand. Mine started falling out exactly 14 days after my first chemo, which was the day before Christmas Eve. I had it shaved completely off on Christmas Eve. I wasn't just shedding, it was coming out by the handfuls & I had long, super thick blonde hair. I cried and cried waiting for my hair to fall out,and that was one of my major fears when I found out I have cancer.But you know what.. on Christmas Eve when I took control of the situation and realized that I have cancer, but it doesn't have me, I felt much better. I am not one of the women who rocks my bald head, infact noone but my hairstylist and me have seen my head. I wear hats and scarves everyday. I do have several wigs, but have only worn one of them 2 times. I just don't like the way they feel on my head.

    Please know that you are not alone, we are all here for you and we all totally understand your feelings. And remember that you are stronger than you realize... You can do this :)

    Hugs,

    Dawne
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    Loosing the hair
    was hard for me, not so much for the way I looked but I rather
    for the looks I attracted. It screamed out to the world - I AM SICK!!
    I soon found out, I am not a wig person, too fidgety after coming
    home from a party with my bangs on the side of my head.. lOl
    I gave it to my friend's daughter to play dress up with.
    Mainly I did the scarf and hat thing. I bicycled during this period
    more, since the helmet was a great disguise.

    I'll be honest, I avoided going into public when I could. It was just
    an added stress for me that I could do without. But some sisters
    on here were braver. I think you need to find what works for you.
    I shaved mine as soon as my head started to hurt, while driving
    with my windows down and when I reached for it a bunch was
    in my hands, not the kind of thing you want to experience while
    going 75 miles down the highway .. lol

    Mine came back a month or two after my last chemo. So remind
    me your, it is temporary. I kept saying to myself this too will pass.
    And after a while I really didn't mind the bald thing, I started having
    fun with it, after all I am not bald that often.

    Hugs,
    Ayse
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    carkris said:

    I remember this being so
    I remember this being so tough. when I was certain my hair would come out, I just buzzed it. did not wait for it to start falling out in clumps. My husband kept urging me to do it, before I was ready. (he was worried I would have a hard time) but I did it when I was ready and didnt cry.
    I am a reserved person and do not like attention, but I got used to the scarf and really didnt think about it. I wasnt as confident as some ladies here to go bald , but I was suprised how soon I grew used to it. I rarely wore my wig.
    I went topless after about 5 months but only because the top did not grow in the way I liked. My hair is slow growing. Trust me you will sort this out and it will be ok, then when your hair is growing back you can support a newbie, and be amazed on how you got through it.

    Sending you a big hug!
    Leeza

    Sending you a big hug!


    Leeza
  • joannstar
    joannstar Member Posts: 403 Member
    Mine's finally coming in
    I started loosing handfuls of hair on day 17 and had my highlighted blond hair cut with a buzz cutter to about an inch and a half by a girlfriend in October 2010. That left me with salt and pepper hair and then I lost all of the pepper and had just some wispy white hair left. I cried, felt self conscious but I did find one benefit--I was delighted to not have to shave my legs or pits and not having mustache hair was great. I also discovered that not having nose hair meant I had a runny for a good part of the 18 weeks of chemo. I have no bottom lashes left and very little top lashes and few eyebrow hairs. I have a beautiful highlighted wig that matched the color I had been dying my hair. I always receive comments about how good it looks--people don't realize it is a wig, but it is not comfortable so I only wear it on evenings out. To work I were scarves.
    I finished chemo on 1/7/11 and my hair is really starting to grow back--still mostly salt with a bit of pepper--however it is only about 3/4 of an inch so I'm not ready to go coverless yet--but soon I figure, maybe another 6 weeks.
    Good luck to you and yes, it does grow back. How long it takes will vary--my hair always grew fast and thick and it is kind of exciting to see what it will look like now.
    JoAnn