Why is good news scary?
The last MRI showed non cancerous new lesions on the brain since my last MRI a year ago, but I have developed a tic where my head starts twitching and it is getting worse, did they get the orig diagnosis right or is there some other neurological glitch going on?
Everyone keeps saying how strong I am, if they only knew! It is like this at 230a, that I am the most scared when I am alone and am not trying to make everyone else ok with my illness! I never knew that I could be so tired!
I am giving my house back to the bank, and can no longer work. I never thought I would have to choose between making a house payment or making co-payments, or that the beast would force me into bankruptcy! I was origionally told that I had such a low-grade cancer that the chance of a recurrance was very low. I am trying so hard to stay positive, but some days it is just too hard!
I feel safe saying this here as I know that I can't be the only one in this position!
Comments
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Cancer sucks! It trys to
Cancer sucks! It trys to steal everything from us. I was working part-time before cancer, so at least allowed to rest. I work for insurance and co-pays. My husband is on disability, so theres no extra money for anything.
Do you have anybody that can help you keep your house? I wish I had good advice for you. Maybe someone will on this board.
You have been through so much the last 10 yrs. No wonder youre bone tired. That expression is one that I learned the true meaning of this last 2 yrs.
Sending you hugs. Wish it could be more. Katz0 -
Camul
reading stories like yours just breaks my heart. When you are in the fight for your life it seems like
such waste of energy (what little we have at this time) to have to worry about finances. And it is very
taxing on your soul to see every thing you worked for so hard, all these years slip away. I was lucky
to have been able to work through it all. But cancer caught me with my pants down (naked really) I
was alone, no support. And I felt like I was too close to the edge for comfort and saw how easy it
was to slip between cracks.
You know camul, let that go... if anything I learned my health is my most valuable asset. I hope
you direct all you energy towards your healing. And when it gets scary at 2.30 am, give yourself
a big hug and take good care of yourself, some soothing music or maybe come find some support
in the chat room here. I meditate when I feel the creepies coming in... it really helps me calm down
the flutter and endless thoughts in my head.
I am sending you a big warm and fuzzy hug and I hope it finds you well and smiling when you get it.
Love,
Ayse0 -
Camul, I'm so sorry you are
Camul, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I wish I could jump through this computer and give you a giant hug!! Please feel free to come here anytime 24/7 and get the support you so deserve. Cancer has robbed me of everything as well...my cobra ins is 500 a month and my new chemo drug is 5702.00 a month and I pay 659.00 of it. I'm working part time (very difficult to do) just to get my meds. I pray someone is there for you and I pray when your feeling down you can find the happiness you deserve. Please keep us updated on your treatments and make sure you tell your doc about your tic.
Miles of Love Dear Sister,
~Kari0 -
Camulpinkkari09 said:Camul, I'm so sorry you are
Camul, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I wish I could jump through this computer and give you a giant hug!! Please feel free to come here anytime 24/7 and get the support you so deserve. Cancer has robbed me of everything as well...my cobra ins is 500 a month and my new chemo drug is 5702.00 a month and I pay 659.00 of it. I'm working part time (very difficult to do) just to get my meds. I pray someone is there for you and I pray when your feeling down you can find the happiness you deserve. Please keep us updated on your treatments and make sure you tell your doc about your tic.
Miles of Love Dear Sister,
~Kari
So sorry for all of your problems besides this cancer stuff.It's really a shame that besides all the worries about your health you also have to worry about finances.I really think something needs to be done about healthcare in this country. Not sure what the answers are, but it's really a shame that in a country as rich as this, we don't have affordable health care for all that could help stop all this financial problems when you are sick.
I really don't have any advice, just try to stay positive and remember that whenever you need to vent or just talk about things, we are all here for you.
Sending HUGS!!!!!0 -
I am so sorry....
I am so sorry....0 -
I am so sorry....
I am so sorry....0 -
camul
I'm so sorry to hear that you had to choose between your house payments and cancer copays. Life is not fair and neither is healthcare! Cancer can be very scary especially if prognosis is compromised or unknown. Hang in there and hopefully you can continue to post here so we can support you whenever you need it.
{{hugs}} Char0 -
Thank You to everyone.
I think everything is just catching up with me! I can't tell you all how much I appreciate the support. I have tried for so long to be stong and I think it all has come crashing down. Thank you for being here! Today is still rough, but I am counting on tomorrow to be better:)0 -
wow that really does stink.camul said:Thank You to everyone.
I think everything is just catching up with me! I can't tell you all how much I appreciate the support. I have tried for so long to be stong and I think it all has come crashing down. Thank you for being here! Today is still rough, but I am counting on tomorrow to be better:)
wow that really does stink. but I am glad it looks like the cancer is being held back. I would call my doc about the tics. It could be a side effect of meds or something.0 -
You just needed a well deserved breakcamul said:Thank You to everyone.
I think everything is just catching up with me! I can't tell you all how much I appreciate the support. I have tried for so long to be stong and I think it all has come crashing down. Thank you for being here! Today is still rough, but I am counting on tomorrow to be better:)
It's nice to hear that you scheduled a good day for tomorrow.
I hope to see you post more often and come out and mingle
and rant all you want. It's amazing how just a little smile
can brighten your day a little.
Hugs,
Ayse0 -
Hi Camulaysemari said:You just needed a well deserved break
It's nice to hear that you scheduled a good day for tomorrow.
I hope to see you post more often and come out and mingle
and rant all you want. It's amazing how just a little smile
can brighten your day a little.
Hugs,
Ayse
So sorry that you are having such difficult time.
It is very stressful to think about house payments while going through a Chemo treatment.Maybe you can ask family and friends for help on house payments. I have read that several people from this board filed for bankruptcy and gave up homes. Hopefully they will comment and talk about their experience.
If you feel uncomfortable ask your oncologist for a new MRI. You need authorization from your insurance, but it is worth to try.
Ask your oncologist about your tic. It could be side effect of Chemo or something else. You can request a consultation with neurologist.
We all trying to be very strong however we probably should not. Nothing wrong in being depended from others or seek assistance.
Wishing you a better day tomorrow,
Hugs0 -
I am so sorry
that you are having to choose treatment over a home. This is so unfair. I just wish there was something I could do to help. The best thing that I can offer is my positive energy and good thoughts that things will work out for you. And of course I will be here for support with all of the other sisters any time you need us.
Hugs,
Georgia0 -
Maybe...ladyg said:I am so sorry
that you are having to choose treatment over a home. This is so unfair. I just wish there was something I could do to help. The best thing that I can offer is my positive energy and good thoughts that things will work out for you. And of course I will be here for support with all of the other sisters any time you need us.
Hugs,
Georgia
Hi Camul
Just breaks my heart to read about losing your home. When I went through this in 2009-2010, I got way behind on my rent payments, Unemployment was not enough. The hospital had a fund for people going through treatment, where they paid my rent, electricity, gave me food cards. I believe that part of that was funded by the Susan G. Komen foundation. Have you tried getting state insurance? They are there for people whom cannot pay co-pays or insurance premiums. I never paid out of pocket for anything. I now pay a small monthly premium.
There are agencies out there for help with house payments and all. Do you have a breast cancer advocate? Mine is full of ideas and help. My oncologist was super too. It is important to put your health on top of the list and not have added stress. Please ask your treatment team about the charities. The American Cancer Society also can help.
I am here for you.....Good luck and hugs!!!! Carlie0 -
I'm so sorry Camul for allpinkkari09 said:Camul, I'm so sorry you are
Camul, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I wish I could jump through this computer and give you a giant hug!! Please feel free to come here anytime 24/7 and get the support you so deserve. Cancer has robbed me of everything as well...my cobra ins is 500 a month and my new chemo drug is 5702.00 a month and I pay 659.00 of it. I'm working part time (very difficult to do) just to get my meds. I pray someone is there for you and I pray when your feeling down you can find the happiness you deserve. Please keep us updated on your treatments and make sure you tell your doc about your tic.
Miles of Love Dear Sister,
~Kari
I'm so sorry Camul for all that you are going thru. It just is not fair! I wish there were something more I could do to help you. Just know that we are all here for you anytime, any day.
Wishing you good luck and sending you big hugs,
Jan0 -
Thanks, I haven't contactedwoodsygal said:Maybe...
Hi Camul
Just breaks my heart to read about losing your home. When I went through this in 2009-2010, I got way behind on my rent payments, Unemployment was not enough. The hospital had a fund for people going through treatment, where they paid my rent, electricity, gave me food cards. I believe that part of that was funded by the Susan G. Komen foundation. Have you tried getting state insurance? They are there for people whom cannot pay co-pays or insurance premiums. I never paid out of pocket for anything. I now pay a small monthly premium.
There are agencies out there for help with house payments and all. Do you have a breast cancer advocate? Mine is full of ideas and help. My oncologist was super too. It is important to put your health on top of the list and not have added stress. Please ask your treatment team about the charities. The American Cancer Society also can help.
I am here for you.....Good luck and hugs!!!! Carlie
Thanks, I haven't contacted anyone. It isn't even the house that I care about, it is more that I have worked so hard and for so long to stay above water, and that cancer or any major illness can wipe everything out so quickly. I think I am just so angry that it is back and that it came back with such a vengence!
I have work disability and with that there are so many restriction, and about half my salary! I am not allowed to leave the state. None of my sisters or brothers live here, they are all out of state, so that limits my time with them. I do have a great support system in my children and friends here, so I know how fortunate I am.
On Tuesday, I will contact the ACS and the financial dept thru my cancer team. I figured because I was getting some disability that I wouldn't be eligible, but I will look into it this week.
I have no problem moving into an apartment, as long as I can keep my dogs! Where I live is not as important as who comes with me:)0 -
camulcamul said:Thanks, I haven't contacted
Thanks, I haven't contacted anyone. It isn't even the house that I care about, it is more that I have worked so hard and for so long to stay above water, and that cancer or any major illness can wipe everything out so quickly. I think I am just so angry that it is back and that it came back with such a vengence!
I have work disability and with that there are so many restriction, and about half my salary! I am not allowed to leave the state. None of my sisters or brothers live here, they are all out of state, so that limits my time with them. I do have a great support system in my children and friends here, so I know how fortunate I am.
On Tuesday, I will contact the ACS and the financial dept thru my cancer team. I figured because I was getting some disability that I wouldn't be eligible, but I will look into it this week.
I have no problem moving into an apartment, as long as I can keep my dogs! Where I live is not as important as who comes with me:)
I am so sorry going through all this..illness is bad enough..but $ & employer issues....
sending good thoughts your way..0 -
Hi Camuldisneyfan2008 said:camul
I am so sorry going through all this..illness is bad enough..but $ & employer issues....
sending good thoughts your way..
Your situation makes me so sad. You say you have a great support in your children and friends. Lean on them now. Take whatever help they can give you--whether it's help with finances, calling insurance companies, sorting out the details of your medical care, errands to help you to rest, or just coming by for a warm hug, cup of tea and a chat. Let them help you with your burden--you have so much to deal with.
What part of the country do you live in--I wish it was near me. Keep checking in with us--we care.
Hugs, Renee0 -
Thanks everyonemissrenee said:Hi Camul
Your situation makes me so sad. You say you have a great support in your children and friends. Lean on them now. Take whatever help they can give you--whether it's help with finances, calling insurance companies, sorting out the details of your medical care, errands to help you to rest, or just coming by for a warm hug, cup of tea and a chat. Let them help you with your burden--you have so much to deal with.
What part of the country do you live in--I wish it was near me. Keep checking in with us--we care.
Hugs, Renee
I am getting better at allowing help, and almost at asking for it. This week I am feeling better, and this site is invaluable. My son came on Monday and looked at me and the first thing he said was, did you have Zometa Wednesday? I said yes. He said that he has noticed a pattern that on the week that I have the Zometa, I get down. We walked thru the treatments and it looks like he is on to something!
Figured out that I have Zometa every 21 or 28 days, on Wednesdays (depending on my cell counts), and my legs are cramping so bad by Thursday night, and it continues thru Sunday. I usually only sleep a couple of hours when this is going on. So yesterday I talked to the PA when I had chemo, and they are going to see if there is anything other than the massive amounts of water that can help with the cramping.
I am usually really upbeat, and even today following chemo yesterday, I am not down at all. So..... thank God for my boys!0
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