i need to whine
Comments
-
Johnny:
You go ahead and whine, scream, or anything you need to do. The board is here for you.
If your doc is talking about beads, he may be talking about SirSpheres also called Therespheres. Yes, someone on the board has had this, not too many though. Just Google the names and an explanation of the procedure will come up. The are actually very small, my understanding the size of a grain of sand or so, and they are radioactive beads if we are talking about the same thing. There is also a TACE procedure, but those beads are chemotherapy beads.
Take care - Tina0 -
so sorry
Hi,
Feel free to whine and vent away! I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this. I've been on chemo for quite a while now, but I remember how awful it was when the cancer came back and I had to gear up for chemo again. I cried many, many tears over it. We will be here to support you through thick and thin. Sounds like there is a plan going on, though, and that's a good thing.
Hugs to you- you will get through this-
Lisa
0 -
JBG.................lisa42 said:so sorry
Hi,
Feel free to whine and vent away! I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this. I've been on chemo for quite a while now, but I remember how awful it was when the cancer came back and I had to gear up for chemo again. I cried many, many tears over it. We will be here to support you through thick and thin. Sounds like there is a plan going on, though, and that's a good thing.
Hugs to you- you will get through this-
Lisa
relax.....relaxx, relaxxx, relaxxxxxxxxxx.......ok, Idlehunters has had the beads and I think was very very thrilled with what they did for her.
First off, I have had rectal and met to lung and its the attitude that gets me to where I need to be....You have got to get the ole noggin straight.....OK, find you a plastic trash can, yep, just as soon as you read this go get a plastic trash can. Then promptly take it out into the back yard, then pretend its cancer, and kick the ever loving chit out of it, not once, not twice, but until you have removed every bit of hatred for it out of your system. JBG, right now it has total control of your emotions.....you have to regain that. The trash can is representative of the loss of control that cancer took and you returning it into your possession. You are in control of every facet of your life including your treatment regimens and what options that are available to you and the ones you will pick that best suit your needs.
Now, look around you, tell me what needs immediate attention ??? Tell me what is so behind that if you just don't get it done asap it will just overwhelm you ? OK, Mine would be getting my teeth pulled today, it bothered me to no end...what if I can't get a good fit for partials ? what if I don't wake up? What if I didn't give a chit what happens because I know that I will not live forever...and that my dear is how I get by...I have no control over my demise....and ya know, besides that, what else is so dang important that its that necessary to worry about.....its not...
Do as I and wrap your head around the real fact that someday both you and I will pass away...that's whats scary, the passing away part...you have no control over that either...what you do have control over is how you react to things...and how you contain that or not contain those reactions is relative in the way you feel ....If I talk about my demise daily to myself or weekly and let it be known that I am ok with passing away, then soon enough my brain starts to presume that what I speak of is ok and it doesn't send bad impulses out in my bodily system to make me feel sad or cry, it simply understands that the talking about demise is ok and the body involuntarily will react to the stimuli sent it, in this case will be not something new but something spoke of on a relatively frequent occasion, so the upsetting nature that demise normally brings someone is now an average feeling sent electrically to be dispersed into your brain and sent out as not a frightening experience, but one that is considered normal to the brain...thus the anxiety levels are more contained and the fear factor loses its value.....then , you have control back in your corner....and when you have control....Life Gets Great Again..............it starts with a plastic trash can.............Love ya, buzz0 -
Whoa
Slow down just for a minute or two, stop and relax, forget about everything just for a minute okay? No reason for things to spiral, you can't allow cancer to get the better of you every minute, you have to take a moment or two and step back from it.
Yes, screaming is good, crying is good, ranting and raving all good. Go ahead then, reach into those depths of despair and cry it all out. But after you're done with all that, you have to pull your self up, put on those big girl panties, wash those eyes with cold water and start all over again.
Yes, that sucks, I have tears in my eyes at the moment for you. I'm still going through my first time, realizing by all I've read on this board that I may go through it a second time, and yep, it sucks big time. I don't want to go through it a second time, I agree with you, fight number one was enough wasn't it? But that isn't the way that cancer works sometimes is it?
We have to get up in the morning and start the process over.
The thing is, is I know you can do this. It's two years later, you're stronger now then the last time you had your chemo. You're already handling it, you've got your doc getting you another chemo doc. See? You put those boots on, pulled the straps up tight and started on the road to kicking cancer arse one more time. And the important thing to remember is these past two years. I'm sure you were happy to have them, go for that happiness of more years again. I know it's rough, I know your chemo was rougher on you then most people. So sit down and talk with your new chemo doc, and go through it with him. You might find he has other ideas, chemos, chemo protocols that are way BETTER then your last chemo doc.
So dear, go ahead and cry your eyes out, but tomorrow, when the sun shines again and you wake up, and you realize you have another day to laugh and to love, and that you want more of those days, know you will make it through the rough times once again.
Know we care about you and any whining, crying or wailing is acceptable any time you want to do it. We'll pat you on the back, give you a hug, then hold your hand with our spirits helping you through this.
Winter Maire0 -
Sorry
I am so sorry you're so down right now, but it's totally understandable. The first time was hard, really hard, but you withstood with the hope this would TAKE CARE OF IT. It didn't, so now you have to face the whole mess again. And you're scared, which anyone would be.
But it sounds like you have better medical care for yourself now, and it seems like good plans are already in the works. Hang in there, dear.
*hugs*
Gail0 -
Debra
I'm so sorry to hear your news but I'm very glad to hear you'll be changing doctors and being seen in a bigger town. When your mom told us your cancer had returned, I was very surprised to hear it was in your liver. Generally rectal cancer spreads to the lungs first and maybe then to the liver. None of this even makes sense. I feel like your current onc overlooked something earlier!
Again, I'm really glad you are switching doctors and hang in there! I just read a story of a woman who died Tuesday from ovarian cancer.... after 25 years of this and that type spread. She lived for long periods of time with NO cancer and enjoyed life to the fullest. So can you, my friend!0 -
Hi JohnnyBGood
No one ever said this would be easy, you have to let it all out if you can. I was dx with stage IV colon cancer 7 years ago this month. By then it had spread to the liver and lungs. It's certainly not uncommon for it to do that. People, with the advice of their doctors, treat this cancer differently. The doctor who caught the cancer wanted to approach it one way (surgery then chemo to "buy me some time") while the onc I wound up getting my second opinion from and staying with, had me do 6 months of chemo before I had any surgery at all to try to cure me. That way it shrunk the tumors and made it easier for them to get almost all of it. They say that where you go first makes a big difference and I believe that. Of course I won't know what might have happened if I did it the other way around. I seriously doubt I would be writing this though.
I didn't have beads put in my liver but I did have a HAI pump put in during the resection and that continued to administer chemo to my liver after my surgery. Considering they removed over 60% of my liver it worked like a charm. For the past 4 years or so I have been dealing with some areas of cancer in my lungs. Some spots here and there where they did wedge resections and the past 3 years I've had 1 RFA (ablation) each year to get rid of 1 or 2 spots each time.
So in 7 years, I've had a few breaks of 2 months off chemo and last summer I had 4 months off it. My point is that we all dislike cancer and chemo but one does what one has to do. It's been (for me) a series of new normals that I have had to adjust to. I'm not thrilled with it but my choices are to deal with it and go with the flow or not to do that. Not many options as I see it.
One thing that helped me immensely was to see a therapist who helps me deal with all of the emotions that come along with a cancer diagnosis. I am also on some meds that take the edge off things so I am less anxious. I know that everyone doesn't agree with that approach but like I've said, we are all different and handle things in the ways that we can. I will say that I doubt I could have done it without my therapist's help and the meds too. You do have age on your side, I was 46 when I was dx and that certainly helped me. While I always hope for the best, I prepare for whatever the news may be when I get scan results. I've learned that when you're told your hospital stay should only be 5-7 days and it turns into 16 days that one gets out when they get out, and chemo will stop when it stops.
We are no different that you JBG, you have the inner strength to beat this too and to make the most of life.
-phil0 -
I LOVE the trash can idea!!!!Buzzard said:JBG.................
relax.....relaxx, relaxxx, relaxxxxxxxxxx.......ok, Idlehunters has had the beads and I think was very very thrilled with what they did for her.
First off, I have had rectal and met to lung and its the attitude that gets me to where I need to be....You have got to get the ole noggin straight.....OK, find you a plastic trash can, yep, just as soon as you read this go get a plastic trash can. Then promptly take it out into the back yard, then pretend its cancer, and kick the ever loving chit out of it, not once, not twice, but until you have removed every bit of hatred for it out of your system. JBG, right now it has total control of your emotions.....you have to regain that. The trash can is representative of the loss of control that cancer took and you returning it into your possession. You are in control of every facet of your life including your treatment regimens and what options that are available to you and the ones you will pick that best suit your needs.
Now, look around you, tell me what needs immediate attention ??? Tell me what is so behind that if you just don't get it done asap it will just overwhelm you ? OK, Mine would be getting my teeth pulled today, it bothered me to no end...what if I can't get a good fit for partials ? what if I don't wake up? What if I didn't give a chit what happens because I know that I will not live forever...and that my dear is how I get by...I have no control over my demise....and ya know, besides that, what else is so dang important that its that necessary to worry about.....its not...
Do as I and wrap your head around the real fact that someday both you and I will pass away...that's whats scary, the passing away part...you have no control over that either...what you do have control over is how you react to things...and how you contain that or not contain those reactions is relative in the way you feel ....If I talk about my demise daily to myself or weekly and let it be known that I am ok with passing away, then soon enough my brain starts to presume that what I speak of is ok and it doesn't send bad impulses out in my bodily system to make me feel sad or cry, it simply understands that the talking about demise is ok and the body involuntarily will react to the stimuli sent it, in this case will be not something new but something spoke of on a relatively frequent occasion, so the upsetting nature that demise normally brings someone is now an average feeling sent electrically to be dispersed into your brain and sent out as not a frightening experience, but one that is considered normal to the brain...thus the anxiety levels are more contained and the fear factor loses its value.....then , you have control back in your corner....and when you have control....Life Gets Great Again..............it starts with a plastic trash can.............Love ya, buzz
On word of my second cancer in 6 months, I bought a bunch of thin ashtrays, and threw them against a wall until my anger was done. Unfortunately, I then had to clean up the glass...ROFL....(but they DID make a VERY satisfying clink as they broke...lmao!)
Indulge in your frustration, and then get on with the fight!!!! We know you can do this, you ARE a superwoman!!!!
American expatriate hugs, Kathi0 -
you all mean so muchSonia32 said:You let it out girl!
Hugs, this place is your second family and you know we are all here for you. So whine, cry, laugh with us. Sending you prayers, good vibes and more hugss your way.
to me.as i sit here with my coffee this morning and read your comments i think yes i am going to beat this and yes today is going to be a good day.i will get a trash can and watch it fly it will go far because we have 6 inches of snow for it to slide on.again thank you so much.cyber hugs to all((((hugs))))) Godbless...johnnybegood0 -
jbgjohnnybegood said:you all mean so much
to me.as i sit here with my coffee this morning and read your comments i think yes i am going to beat this and yes today is going to be a good day.i will get a trash can and watch it fly it will go far because we have 6 inches of snow for it to slide on.again thank you so much.cyber hugs to all((((hugs))))) Godbless...johnnybegood
you r in my thoughts have a wonderful morning and the rest of the day.
michelle0 -
You never know how strongPhillieG said:Hi JohnnyBGood
No one ever said this would be easy, you have to let it all out if you can. I was dx with stage IV colon cancer 7 years ago this month. By then it had spread to the liver and lungs. It's certainly not uncommon for it to do that. People, with the advice of their doctors, treat this cancer differently. The doctor who caught the cancer wanted to approach it one way (surgery then chemo to "buy me some time") while the onc I wound up getting my second opinion from and staying with, had me do 6 months of chemo before I had any surgery at all to try to cure me. That way it shrunk the tumors and made it easier for them to get almost all of it. They say that where you go first makes a big difference and I believe that. Of course I won't know what might have happened if I did it the other way around. I seriously doubt I would be writing this though.
I didn't have beads put in my liver but I did have a HAI pump put in during the resection and that continued to administer chemo to my liver after my surgery. Considering they removed over 60% of my liver it worked like a charm. For the past 4 years or so I have been dealing with some areas of cancer in my lungs. Some spots here and there where they did wedge resections and the past 3 years I've had 1 RFA (ablation) each year to get rid of 1 or 2 spots each time.
So in 7 years, I've had a few breaks of 2 months off chemo and last summer I had 4 months off it. My point is that we all dislike cancer and chemo but one does what one has to do. It's been (for me) a series of new normals that I have had to adjust to. I'm not thrilled with it but my choices are to deal with it and go with the flow or not to do that. Not many options as I see it.
One thing that helped me immensely was to see a therapist who helps me deal with all of the emotions that come along with a cancer diagnosis. I am also on some meds that take the edge off things so I am less anxious. I know that everyone doesn't agree with that approach but like I've said, we are all different and handle things in the ways that we can. I will say that I doubt I could have done it without my therapist's help and the meds too. You do have age on your side, I was 46 when I was dx and that certainly helped me. While I always hope for the best, I prepare for whatever the news may be when I get scan results. I've learned that when you're told your hospital stay should only be 5-7 days and it turns into 16 days that one gets out when they get out, and chemo will stop when it stops.
We are no different that you JBG, you have the inner strength to beat this too and to make the most of life.
-phil
You never know how strong you can be, until strong is the only choice you have! It sucks big time, and know that I would also be mad at the world! Hang in there, one step at a time! Hugs!!!0 -
Johhnybegoodangelsbaby said:jbg
you r in my thoughts have a wonderful morning and the rest of the day.
michelle
Pm me your
Johhnybegood
Pm me your phone number and let me know a good time to call you today. Will you be available between 11 and 2 pm california time! Where are you located? If not, Gail and I can call you later.
Talk to you soon!0 -
Hang in there!
Dear JBG,
Hang in there, and fight. Yup it's not the path that we would have chosen but we got to deal with what we got. I too felt the same way as you when the cancer reappeared. I like Cliff's idea about the garbage can, I think that would be good for me to do also. First find out your options and then go from there. I had a pretty good year after being rediagnosed, had 3 RFA's and just came back from a SBRT treatment in Seattle. My counts are all over the place now and just as you I started to cry hysterically, and freak out recently. You know you get a lot of thoughts running thru your head and I immediately got to calm myself down. Listen to Phil, he's a great one for advice for dealing with this thing we all got. You'll be in my thoughts.
Donna0 -
Johnny
Having just gotten word of a new growth in my colon (after only 9 months and 7 FOLFOX treatments) and spots on my lungs I can certainly relate to what you're feeling. Take some deep breaths. After tonight, I am going to take a few days off and not think or talk about the damn cancer. I just need a break and a little peace before I get test results back and have to make decisions about next steps. Maybe you can do something that can help you find some downtime for a little bit so you can take a fresh look. This cancer sure does suck! We're here for you. BIG HUGS0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.6K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 308 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 395 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.3K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 791 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 235 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 56 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.4K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 534 Sarcoma
- 719 Skin Cancer
- 647 Stomach Cancer
- 190 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.9K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards