Why?

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woodsygal
woodsygal Member Posts: 64
in Breast Cancer #1
Why is it that I never hear from anyone? Is it because I am okay for now? Just wondering!!! LOL!!! I very much want to belong! LOL! Carlie

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  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #2
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    Hi Carlie!
    Hi Carlie! How have you been? LOL!

    CR
  • aztec45
    aztec45 Member Posts: 757
    #3
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    Hi Carlie
    Hi, Carlie,

    I don't get to the boards as much with the travel for work, work, school, chores, and so on. So it is not you, it is just me getting wrapped up in everything else. Sorry.
  • pinkflutterby
    pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member
    #4
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    aztec45 said:

    Hi Carlie
    Hi, Carlie,

    I don't get to the boards as much with the travel for work, work, school, chores, and so on. So it is not you, it is just me getting wrapped up in everything else. Sorry.

    Hi Carlie and I love your
    Hi Carlie and I love your name, its my youngest daughters name spelled the same way!!! I know what you mean, when I was first dx'd I got cards, flowers, meals, visiters LOTS and now its like.... o your still here.... I guess its outta sight outta mind??? At least we have each other Ü
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #5
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    pinkflutterby said:

    Hi Carlie and I love your
    Hi Carlie and I love your name, its my youngest daughters name spelled the same way!!! I know what you mean, when I was first dx'd I got cards, flowers, meals, visiters LOTS and now its like.... o your still here.... I guess its outta sight outta mind??? At least we have each other Ü

    Hi Carlie
    I am not sure what did you mean.
    As far as CSN board goes, please do not take it personally.
    If you feel good enough please help others your contributions will be appreciated. We are going through a very difficult time
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #6
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    ????
    Do you mean friends and family or from this board?
  • woodsygal
    woodsygal Member Posts: 64
    #7
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    MAJW said:

    ????
    Do you mean friends and family or from this board?

    Yes
    I want so much to belong to a strong group of empowering women through this breast cancer trip.I have a lot to give and love to listen. Many stories too. This great!!!
  • pinkkari09
    pinkkari09 Member Posts: 877
    #8
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    Hello Carlie, I'm just
    Hello Carlie, I'm just returning after a little time away from the board, not sure I have responded to any of your posts yet, however, just wanted to drop in and say hello and I hope all is well. ALSO, Pinkflutterby, my daughters name is KarLee too, different spelling but same great name :)
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #9
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    pinkkari09 said:

    Hello Carlie, I'm just
    Hello Carlie, I'm just returning after a little time away from the board, not sure I have responded to any of your posts yet, however, just wanted to drop in and say hello and I hope all is well. ALSO, Pinkflutterby, my daughters name is KarLee too, different spelling but same great name :)

    Personally, I have a group of strong bonds of
    women .. With this being said, none of us have ever experience .. Breast Cancer, that is until my diagnosis. Many went away, occasionally calling, sending over dinners .. 2 slipped thru the cracks .. and 1 never, ever, left my side. Regardless, of my ever changing moods, and personal appearance.

    I felt angry, abandoned and at times isolated with not knowing what I did wrong. Conclusion, I did NOTHING wrong! -- Breast Cancer grew in me, it invaded my soul and spirit .. without an invitation.

    So now, when I receive calls from those who left me high and dry, per say .. it is my option, my choice, whether I answer the phone. If I do, I no longer allow anyone to suck the life out of me .. or zap my energy on mindless none sense. . . . It's my decision, choice ..

    Woodysgal .. I found that once my hair start to sprout, and my chemo infusion ended (herceptin - continued 1 x every 3 weeks), my husband, and children .. stopped helping so much, and thought .. yes, thought I was back to 100% normal. Go figure.


    Vicki Sam
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #10
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    VickiSam said:

    Personally, I have a group of strong bonds of
    women .. With this being said, none of us have ever experience .. Breast Cancer, that is until my diagnosis. Many went away, occasionally calling, sending over dinners .. 2 slipped thru the cracks .. and 1 never, ever, left my side. Regardless, of my ever changing moods, and personal appearance.

    I felt angry, abandoned and at times isolated with not knowing what I did wrong. Conclusion, I did NOTHING wrong! -- Breast Cancer grew in me, it invaded my soul and spirit .. without an invitation.

    So now, when I receive calls from those who left me high and dry, per say .. it is my option, my choice, whether I answer the phone. If I do, I no longer allow anyone to suck the life out of me .. or zap my energy on mindless none sense. . . . It's my decision, choice ..

    Woodysgal .. I found that once my hair start to sprout, and my chemo infusion ended (herceptin - continued 1 x every 3 weeks), my husband, and children .. stopped helping so much, and thought .. yes, thought I was back to 100% normal. Go figure.


    Vicki Sam

    Hello Carlie!!

    Hello Carlie!!
  • woodsygal
    woodsygal Member Posts: 64
    #11
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    Lighthouse_7 said:

    Hello Carlie!!

    Hello Carlie!!

    Thanks!
    I appreciate you all! I just signed up to volunteer for Hospice and a weekly writing group taught by a breast cancer survivor. I am aware that I need to get out and do some rewarding things. I like to be around people and now that I am over the "crisis" phase of the cancer, it is time to do these things. Next, is getting a part time job. Trying to keep my mind off of myself for a bit, after being so self consuming. It was all about me for a year and a half. I deserved it, tho. I lost most of my "friends" with this diagnosis. Time to meet new people! I hope that I can be of some help to others on this wonderful board!! Thanks Carlie
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #12
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    woodsygal said:

    Thanks!
    I appreciate you all! I just signed up to volunteer for Hospice and a weekly writing group taught by a breast cancer survivor. I am aware that I need to get out and do some rewarding things. I like to be around people and now that I am over the "crisis" phase of the cancer, it is time to do these things. Next, is getting a part time job. Trying to keep my mind off of myself for a bit, after being so self consuming. It was all about me for a year and a half. I deserved it, tho. I lost most of my "friends" with this diagnosis. Time to meet new people! I hope that I can be of some help to others on this wonderful board!! Thanks Carlie

    Carlie .. There is no doubt, you will make a
    difference in others life, and treatment days. You walk, run and enjoy your new life. Friends will come and go, good friends are never too far away.

    Strength and Courage ... You Rock on .. Sister in PINK.

    Vicki Sam
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #13
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    woodsygal said:

    Thanks!
    I appreciate you all! I just signed up to volunteer for Hospice and a weekly writing group taught by a breast cancer survivor. I am aware that I need to get out and do some rewarding things. I like to be around people and now that I am over the "crisis" phase of the cancer, it is time to do these things. Next, is getting a part time job. Trying to keep my mind off of myself for a bit, after being so self consuming. It was all about me for a year and a half. I deserved it, tho. I lost most of my "friends" with this diagnosis. Time to meet new people! I hope that I can be of some help to others on this wonderful board!! Thanks Carlie

    Carlie .. There is no doubt, you will make a
    difference in others life, and treatment days. You walk, run and enjoy your new life. Friends will come and go, good friends are never too far away.

    Strength and Courage ... You Rock on .. Sister in PINK.

    Vicki Sam
  • woodsygal
    woodsygal Member Posts: 64
    #14
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    VickiSam said:

    Carlie .. There is no doubt, you will make a
    difference in others life, and treatment days. You walk, run and enjoy your new life. Friends will come and go, good friends are never too far away.

    Strength and Courage ... You Rock on .. Sister in PINK.

    Vicki Sam

    Thanks!!
    I am embracing the "new" me. I feel so alive and different. I hope to meet some really good people!
  • Hippiechick58
    Hippiechick58 Member Posts: 320
    #15
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    Congratulations on joining
    Congratulations on joining Hospice and considering a part-time job! These are huge steps after being isolated for so long! Sorry you are feeling down about not having a support group, but we are always here for you, all you need do is post and like magic we appear!

    I think you are right when you said you needed to get out and meet people. That is part of my problem because I am an isolator from way back. I applaud your efforts and feel positive that you will continue to thrive and feel needed by your Hospice experience.

    "May you be at Peace; May you be free of Suffering."
    Dianne
  • PinkPearl
    PinkPearl Member Posts: 280
    #16
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    HI Carlie
    Glad you spoke out and also are reaching out to others! You know I have been "around" breast cancer for 35 years BUT it was never ME. Now that it is me, I have been doing some soul searching and wondering why I wasn't there more for my mother and sisters during their battles. I think it was that I just didn't really understand it all. I had the mistaken idea that once you were over the basic treatment you were okay. I just didn't think about it returning and all of the worry that goes with that. Now I do really understand and that is why this board and others have helped me so much. I have now "walked a mile in their moccasins" which is an old native American expression that sums it up I think.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #17
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    It's different, beyond the heat of the battle....
    In one sense, it's GREAT!!! It means that life WILL go on!!! YEA!!!

    The other sense, tho, is the sense of loss...you can no longer return to pre-cancer life completely...you have had too many experiences that have changed you. So, it is time for a search as to where you want to be, and who you want to be.

    I celebrated 6 years post-dx for my first cancer in December. 5 years in July of this year will be the end of all treatments for both cancers. It has made me a stronger person, more able to stand up for myself and not bury my feelings, as I did 6 years ago. I post my adventures here, and mostly try to stay upbeat. No longer in the battle directly, I still suffer from reminders of my treatments...my arm is painful, my left hip almost useless (rectal radiation). But my fav saying is "It is what it is"....I fought too long and hard to SAVE my life, that I MUST LIVE my life now!!!

    So, there it is. I still post, as you can see. But the only advice I can give is non-direct...my treatments were over 4 years ago...everything has changed.

    BIG hugs from a 'been there/done that'....

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #18
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    Everything in life changes.
    Everything in life changes. It's how we adjust to it.

    Ok, I admit. I forgot the question. So all you get is words of wisdom. Ok, I forgot those too.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #19
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    Hey Woodsygal!!!! I know
    Hey Woodsygal!!!! I know why ( I think, anyway!) you aren't hearing from too many here on the boards...it's quite simple, actually! Comments and new threads come up so quickly that if I miss a day, I miss the entire life story of someone and wonder what's going on! LOL

    Now, if you are asking why the actual , as opposed to Internet friends are invisible~ it's a 2 edged sword sometimes. I know for me, I didn't want to be identified simply as the BC person; I was someone before my dx, I was still someone during, and after treatment too! And, with the recurrance, I am STILL someone!
    I think my friends didn't always know just what to do and what I needed. I oftentimes got The Look and the sad.."how are you?" question. But they were there for me, nonetheless!I honestly think I took a lot of time to nurture them! It balanced itself out.

    I then thankfully had an almost 8 year hiatus from BC. My relationships changed~ some got stronger, some dissolved. I am back in the battle again, and my strong friends are still strong, my fair weather friends not so much Then again, the main place I talk about my BC is HERE~ I don't like it to be the topic of conversation outside of this safe place.


    I have a regular walking partner, I joined a book group and made friends with a different circle of friends with whom I not only read but go antiquing with and have girls days with. Last year, when my stepdaughter had a baby and she and and the baby's father both worked fulltime, I cooked dinner and delivered it to their house 3X a week. I figured I was making dinner anyway~ why not make dinner for 2 more? It helped me as much as it helped them~I had someone counting on me, it cemented a previously rocky relationship with the stepdaughter, it gave me snuggle time with a newborn and of course, it made my husband crazy about me! LOL

    If I sat around and waited to hear from people, I'd still be waiting! I like both eventualities; my quiet time and my busy time. I like my friends thinking I am ok and that I don't need them in the same way as I did before. Not that it won't change, but for today, I am holding my own!!! I am truly nurtured by Reggie and my "daughter/niece" Siobhan, and the Kindred Spirits here on the boards !!

    Oh..and I was so happy to see you back on the boards with us~ (((((hugs)))) and I am very glad you are ok!

    Claudia

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