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its official...and im scared

johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

well it looks like im in this fight again.just got the news from my liver biopsy done on jan.31.i have got 2 mets to the liver.i will go monday to the doc that saved my life the first time and see what is going to happen on this particular roller coaster ride.i sure did not like the first ride i went on and am really scared about this one.so to all my cyber family,the familar ones and new ones to meet i will be posting often because i could not have done it without you the first go round and i dont know if i can fight this one without you ...Godbless...johnnybegood

Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Johnnybegood, I am really sorry to read this. You can do this + I am really glad you are back posting; this site is awesome. Warm thoughts + cyber (((hugs))) are heading your way. Darn this disease!

Dharma girl
Posts: 40
Joined: Jan 2011

I’m a newbie here so I can’t offer you any advice. Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your bad news. Cancer is indeed a roller coaster ride. Hang in there.

johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

nice to meet you.here is a little history dx stage 3 colorectal cancer sept.2008 did xeloda and radiation for 5 weeks,then surgery to remove tumor dec,2008.temporary colostomy then reversal feb.2009.and chemo(oxy and 5fu)10 rounds finished july 2009.i have always been a part of this board but decided to take a long break from all the cancer talk and try to find the new me.i am still struggling with the side effects of radiation and the oxy.it has been 19 months since i have finished chemo.my body is just now feeling as if it has begun to heal from all it was hit with and now i am being told the cancer is back.i just dont know witch way to turn anymore.

tootsie1's picture
Posts: 5065
Joined: Feb 2008

I hate this for you, and I'm praying this won't be a rough ride for you. Please keep us posted and let us know whenever you need a little hand holding.


johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

i have missed you so, i know i can always count on you and so many others on here to bring sunshine to my days and even shed a few tears together...Godbless...johnnybegood

herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

So sorry, that really sucks. I think I can sort of imagine the feeling you have of going back on chemo, I only had a two month break, and then had to go back on, I'm just lucky it was only Xeloda with Avastin as a side dish. But I went in with dragging feet, as I just wanted to be done with it.
And You've had such a long break, and those memories of that chemo in your mind, I know has to really scare you a bit, and the unwillingness to go in for that first round.
Just remember, you did it before you can do it again, you're tough, you fought the good battle and won for a while, so just time to pick up that weapon (chemo)and start fighting the enemy (cancer) once again. You'll win again. We're all here ready to help you battle.
Winter Marie

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

So sorry to hear this! We will be here for you! You can do it!!

Kathleen808's picture
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

We are here for you. I am so sorry that you have to gear up again. Dick had a 4 month break and started back on chemo on Tuesday. It was hard, for sure, but he is starting to feel better and hoping to enjoy the weekend.
Thinking of you


Buzzard's picture
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

yeah its gonna be another road trip but it will be fine...You have a lot of options dealing with this. You have to remember that I too have been back at it and I am starting to feel as you did just prior to your re occurrence. I was really feeling good as you are so if it has to happen, I would really want it to be now when I feel my best, it tells me that my body is feeling its best as well. Pick and choose your options wisely, they work for you, do your homework, you have been through this before and even if seconds aren't good (we all hope for never) at least we know what we are dealing with... There is so much they can do, and the liver does regenerate itself. Now its time to draw a deep breath, keep us involved, and lets get this over and done with...You will be back in great shape before you know it...get the game face on girl....we can and will do this........Love to you and yours, Clift

johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

i have alot of different feelings inside right now,maybe i will feel some what better when i talk to doc.we dont have any colon cancer support groups here(just breast cancer)so this here board is it for me.have a good day,,,Godbless..johnnybegood

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

goodluck with the surgeon.
let us know.

dianetavegia's picture
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

Debra, I'm so sorry for this news. I really don't know what to say!

Wishing you well and praying the doctors have a great plan to rid your body of this awful disease!


pepebcn's picture
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

But sending you all the needed strength to fight from Barcelona!

johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

you are looking well,i dont know how you have done it to keep the beast away,i am happy for you.keep up the good work i think of you often as well....Godbless

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

Johnnybegood i'm so sorry to hear .i will send some cyber hugs your way hugs hugs Tina

geotina's picture
Posts: 2123
Joined: Oct 2009

Take some time to let the news settle in. I'm sorry your scans were not what you were hoping for and that you are now back in the battle. Several on the board recently received bad news with either progression or the cancer is back so we know the emotions you and your familiy are suffering.

Make sure you explore each and every option available to you then come back and let the board know what the docs say and people will share their experiences with you. There may be options available to you other than straight to chemo so ask, ask ask and make sure you understand why they can or can't do a certain procedure.

Take care - Tina

johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

thanks for the reply.yes i have noticed some of the people that was dx on or around the same time as me have had some kind of recurrance.its just not fair.im going to try to enjoy my day today you have a good one....Godbless...johnnybegood

lizzydavis's picture
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

You know we are here for you. You can do this. Hang in there. Good thoughts and prayers from me.


maglets's picture
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

oh johnny I am so sorry you have to do this again. We can help Johnny....really we can and we will be here for you.

with a big hug from your second mom :)


johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

yes here we go again i have so many mixed feelings right now,i feel things are tearing me in many directions.i will talk to doc on monday and maybe that will narrow my directions a little.yes it is a rollercoaster ride for sure and right now it is whipping me all around.i hate this cancer sh!@$$! and what it does to our lives...Godbless....johnnybegood

Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

I hate to hear this news, but I agree this is the place to come to when in need for anything really, such wonderful people here. I have my tests today and results on Tuesday, I hate test and the waiting.

I will be praying for you and praying this will be a very easy ride for you and your family..


johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

thank you for your support.i often think of you.if i am right didnt you move and how is that grand baby,how has life been treating you and hope your health is holding up.talk to you soon...Godbless...johnnybegood

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

I'm sorry you are in for another round...

I had a very short break before being thrown back in, and I've had a really rough time of it. But I hope I can be a little inspiration for you. I had no surgical option for this time - only chemo. After 8tx of FOLFIRI and Avastin I'm doing very well. It was a very rough time getting those 8 treatments in, but instead of having to do 12 as originally planned, I have already graduated to maintenance of just 5-FU and Avastin (chemo-light as my onc calls it).

I hope you can hit it hard and then be able to let up early too. Hopefully you can have an easy procedure to remove the liver mets, and do some chemo to get rid of any nasty buggers trying to hang on, and be done with it again.

Sonia32's picture
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm so sorry you have to go through this again, but I'm glad you'll have us to walk with you on this journey. And you have got through it once, you will again.


JoyceSteele's picture
Posts: 146
Joined: Nov 2010

Am sorry to hear your news, but you are going to make it this time, just like before. Please know I am adding you to my prayer list today. Take care, sending gentle positive thoughts your way, Johnny. My best, Joyce

Lovekitties's picture
Posts: 3366
Joined: Jan 2010

Dear Johnnybegood,

It is hard to think of having to face the fight again I am sure, yet this time around you know some of the ropes. You know that you are your best advocate. You know that you can weather the treatments. You know that you can get past this recurrance.

And most of all, you know you have us for support!

Hope the news is better than you fear from the doc on Monday.


Marie who loves kitties

msccolon's picture
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

this beast just sucks! I'm so sorry you are back in the fight. I have had a few recurrences so I know how it just knocks you back. I don't doubt you will be back up to full speed fight mode once you wrap your head around the latest news. They have good treatments for mets to the liver, so I'm sure you will hear good news from your doc on Monday. I've had microwave ablation done to a small met in my liver, it was easy peasy. Fight hard and I will keep you in my prayers.

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1329
Joined: Apr 2009

See, sometimes Mother knows best. I'm so glad you decided to come to your family here for support. So many of them have faced what you are now going through. This is such a special group of people. As I told you on the phone, there is NO giving up. I know it will be a very hard fight for you, but as so many have said, you can do it. Remember if the chemo card comes up, there are different kinds. One important thing is that you won't have the same STUPID onc you had before. Also, remember the alternatives like diet, juicing, etc.

I'll talk to you soon.

Wolfen(your mother who loves you very much)

mommyof2kds's picture
Posts: 522
Joined: Mar 2009

So sorry to hear. God Bless. You fought it once and won, now you will do it again.. Petrina

chicoturner's picture
Posts: 285
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi there Johnnybegood, so very sorry to hear of your lates dx. I was dx Feb.29, 2008 and it does seem like a long time, yet... thankfully we have far go to good. You have already proven that you can fight, so now, we gear up to do it again. Know that not only do others encourage you , but you inspire many people with your attitude. Keep the chin up!! Jean

lisa42's picture
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008


Sorry to hear of the official recurrence- truly. We are here for you, and I'm glad you came back. You can do this- I know how scary it is, having had major recurrences two times. There are definitely others who have had recurrences and have then beaten the beast down into NED. You can do it too.

Hugs to you,

Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

....but I posted some to a couple of your threads when you were on here before:)

Recurrence is the really tough part of cancer, JBG. I'm battling my 3rd recurrence right now for the past 7 months, with 3 more months to go.

I understand how difficult it is to hear those words for the first time. I know you did your 12 oxys and ended up with very bad neuropathy, but you had gotten clear of the cancer. I remember thinking that JBG had paid the price.

And you have, as we all have done, and you will battle onward, like we're doing, and we'll all give it all that we can.

Take care and all the best.


grannyc's picture
Posts: 63
Joined: Oct 2010

I am so sorry to hear you are facing another battle. I was NED for 16 months and jst got the news that my cancer is back as well with several lessions to the liver. hoohum, so we turn our backs and start to relax and are so thankful for the break and a life without a doctor appointment every week...and then it is back, so we pick up our weapons and fight once again. keep up posted on treatment on how you are doing.


Posts: 207
Joined: Jan 2011

I'm so new to this board....it will only be a month on the 8th since I heard "you have cancer". I can't imagine what you're feeling right now having been fighting this fight for awhile like you have. I have had so many mixed emotions in the short time I've been dealing with this. I wish you well. I hope that you have more good days than bad, that you don't feel you're fighting this fight alone and that you will have hope when all of the bad parts of this round work their way thru. I wish I had a magic wand to wave and make all this go away for you; for all of us. All I can do is say I'll be here posting on this board to keep encouraging you and standing behind you; I'll pray that you will have an easy go of it. You'll be in my thoughts.


angelsbaby's picture
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

johnybegood you are in my thoughts to be better soon


Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Fight like an A-hoe!!!

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joy44's picture
Posts: 50
Joined: Jan 2011

Sorry to hear that your back, so i am sending you a BIG SNOWY ((HUG)) so you know i am always here!!:)

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